Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

41 practices
How long you have · Five minutes
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Medication and how it works 63Getting assessed and diagnosed 41Your nervous system 37What anger actually is 36Systems for daily life 31Equanimity and perspective 29Exercise, food and other supports 27Your sense of time 25Get started 23Touch and bodywork 23What ADHD actually is 22Bringing the future closer 21Treatment and medication 20When everything feels flat 19The moment before you snap 19The fear underneath anger 18Moving your body 17What worry does 17Choosing your response 17Feelings and focus 17Practising under provocation 17Screens and attention 16What you are actually defending 14Grounding and settling 14Food, caffeine and fuel 13Structure and routine 12Emotions as signals 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 11Breathing 10Staying regulated in conflict 9The cost of avoiding 9Feeling from the inside 9Rebuilding trust 9Being seen and judged 9Growing empathy 9Treatment and medication 8Knowing your partner 8Breaking the worry loop 7Making it stick 7Cool the body first 6Remembering to do it 6Shame and stigma 6Tolerate distress 5When anger turns to harm 5When you use something to cope 5Listening and understanding 5Self-compassion 5Shared spiritual life 4Facing it a step at a time 4Reading, numbers and learning differences 4Use your strengths 3Rituals of connection 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Find meaning 2Meaning after harm 2Repair after rupture 2Act on your values 2Anger, alcohol and the body 2Work with your brain 2Panic and the body 2Notice the pattern and flex 1Let the wave come 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Living with uncertainty 1Face it gently 1Calm the body 1Working with anger 1Your worth is not conditional 1Your window of tolerance 1Shame 1Ask and say no well 1Rest and pacing 1Question the thought 1Affection and touch 1When you go numb 1
Approach
When

An ADHD diagnosis usually arrives with two extra words attached: which presentation it is, and how severe. Both are descriptions of what gets in your way, not a grade you were awarded.

Inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive, or the two together, and then mild, moderate or severe. Mild means you met the threshold and the effect on…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

Hyperactivity and impulsiveness almost never turn up alone. When restlessness appears with no attention difficulty beside it, that is a reason to ask what else might be going on.

In practice the two run together, and over the years the visible restlessness tends to settle while the attention side stays. So a picture that is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

The diagnostic manual is a document people sat in rooms and argued over. That is no reason to dismiss it, and it is a good reason not to treat it as the last word on you.

Committees weigh how reliably clinicians can agree on a criterion, what the field trials show, what a particular wording will do out in the world.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

The checklists were built around the loud version of this, and girls are more often the quiet version. If she is struggling and nobody has ever suggested an assessment, that is worth pressing on.

Defiance in girls can look like refusal, withdrawal or a long-running argument about friendships rather than the disruption a teacher would report.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Most autistic people also meet the criteria for ADHD. The other direction is much thinner: only a small minority of people with ADHD meet the criteria for autism.

That is mostly arithmetic rather than mystery. ADHD is the more common of the two, so one overlap looks large from one side and small from the other.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7

Autism and ADHD share some surface features and are still two different things. The social difficulty in each arrives by a different road.

With ADHD it tends to be impulsiveness and missing what was going on: the interruption, the thing said too fast, the friend never rung back. With…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

A reward that comes every time is easy to walk away from. A reward that turns up unpredictably is the one you cannot put down, and that is exactly how your phone is built.

Sometimes there is something good in the notifications and usually there is not, and it is that uncertainty which keeps you checking. Willpower is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:186

When you read that some proportion of people with ADHD have a particular problem, the number tells you nothing until you know the figure for everybody else.

Twenty percent sounds alarming until you learn what the rate is in the general population. What matters is the multiple, how many times more likely,…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Hypervigilance after trauma and ADHD scanning look much alike from outside. Often the honest answer is that both are present, and the real question is how much of each.

Watching that comes from threat is aimed at something and tends to switch on in particular situations. ADHD distraction is not fussy about where it…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

Damage to the front of the brain can produce something that looks a great deal like ADHD: poor impulse control, blunted judgement, a person their family says has changed.

The nineteenth century railway worker who survived an iron rod through the frontal lobes is the standard illustration, and what altered in him was…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

Check the licensing before assuming you cannot afford a good instrument. Some come with permission to photocopy once you have bought the manual.

That detail matters most to the clinicians least likely to have a budget, which usually means the services seeing the families with fewest options. A…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

There is more than one decent instrument, and which you use often comes down to what you were trained on. If you have never used one, say so rather than having a view about it.

Several rating scales are in wide circulation for children and for adults, validated by different groups for slightly different purposes. Picking one…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

Home DNA tests turn up relatives nobody expected. If someone is thinking of taking one to fill in a blank family history, it is worth saying out loud that it may hand them more than they asked for.

People find half siblings. Sometimes they find that the story they were told about their birth was not the story. That is a great deal to receive by…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 50:16

Ask for the old school reports every time. Some people arrive with a folder of every one they ever had, and you cannot tell in advance which people those are.

It is easy to assume that a parent who is disorganised will not have kept anything, and that assumption quietly costs you evidence. Teacher comments…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 16:43

When you need a date, hand people events rather than months. Was that before or after the holiday? Same year as the move?

Asking whether something happened between October and January invites a guess. Asking whether it was before or after a wedding, a house move or a…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Find out what they have tried before that did not work. It saves everybody from a plan that failed this person two years ago.

Most people arriving for an assessment have been trying things for years: apps, alarms, lists, an early night, a course somebody recommended.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 42:38

The manual now asks for signs by age twelve rather than age seven, and it added wording that fits adult life, including restlessness felt on the inside.

The older cut-off quietly excluded a familiar group: bright children, or well supported ones, who managed until the demands rose and only visibly…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

Run a short anxiety and depression screener alongside the ADHD measure at every intake, not only when someone mentions their mood.

Mood and anxiety sit beside ADHD often enough that leaving them out means guessing about the concentration difficulty in front of you. Doing it as…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:83

A tick beside 'does your mind race' means less than it looks like. Someone whose mind has raced since they were nine has nothing to compare it against, so ask what changed and when before you let the score speak.

Take the endorsed items one at a time and put a period of time around each one. When did this start? Was there ever a stretch when it was not there?…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

Both people will tell you they were up for three nights. The useful question is what they did with those hours: driven and busy points one way, wired and wrecked points another.

In mania the need for sleep falls away and the activity has a purpose behind it, however unrealistic that purpose looks from outside. In ADHD the…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.