Practices

When a feeling grips you, name it in one plain word: this is anger, this is fear, this is hurt.

Not a story about why. Just the name. Putting the feeling into a word loosens its hold.

Give the feeling a number from zero to ten, and watch the number instead of obeying it.

A rating turns a wave you are inside into something you are measuring from the shore.

Under the anger, name the softer feeling: often it is fear, or hurt, or feeling unseen.

Anger is a bodyguard. Name what it is guarding, and it begins to soften.

Ask what this moment actually needs, not what your habit wants. Match the response to the situation.

Health is flexibility: sometimes speak up, sometimes let go, chosen to fit, not fixed by habit.

Two opposite things can both be true: I did my best, and I can do better. Hold both.

You do not have to choose one side of yourself. Wisdom often lives in holding both at once.

Ask what is happening in the body right now, in the moment it happens, rather than asking afterwards what the feeling was.

A shutdown is quickest to catch while it is switching on. The question that works is small and physical: what is happening in your chest, your…

Try not to talk the worry through in detail, even with someone kind. Going over the specifics feels like sorting it out, and it is closer to watering it.

Mental review and asking for reassurance are the same move in different clothes. Both give a short drop in distress and a stronger pull next time.…

When the words for feelings are not there, ask for a number instead. How much did the handwashing take over this week, one to ten, is a question someone can answer on a bad day.

A number asks far less of a person than a description, which matters when putting feelings into language is hard for them, and you still end up with…

Agree a short phrase to use at home. Saying I am having OCD worries tells a parent what is going on without handing them the worry to solve.

Once a parent hears the details they will nearly always try to help by answering, and answering is the thing that feeds it. A label gives them…

There is no brain scan, EEG trace or blood test that can tell you whether someone has ADHD. Anything sold as an objective biological test for it is promising more than the science can give.

Group differences do exist, including in the theta to beta balance, but a difference that appears when you average hundreds of people cannot identify…

Balance difficulties do turn up more often in ADHD, by something like half again. That is a fact about company, not about cause, and it does not turn balance training into a treatment.

Plenty of things could sit behind a link like that. More falls and knocks, more risk taken, or genetics feeding both at once. Working on balance…

Protocols that spin a child in a chair or tip them backwards and forwards to train balance do not improve ADHD. What they mainly produce is a dizzy child.

There is a cost beyond the wasted afternoons. Something unpleasant that was introduced as treatment teaches a child what treatment feels like, and…

Try swapping the word picky for particular. A fair number of people with ADHD have more densely packed taste buds, so the bitterness in a sprout arrives at full volume.

That changes what is going on at the table. A child is not refusing in order to be difficult, they are tasting something stronger than you are.…

The amount in a capsule can vary from bottle to bottle, and sometimes between capsules in the same bottle. Undeclared fillers have been found in them too.

This matters most when you are trying to work out whether something helps you. A good month followed by a flat one may be two different products…

Kava can damage the liver at a high enough dose, badly enough that some countries have banned it. Herbal is not a synonym for gentle.

The unnerving part is how quiet liver damage is. Someone self medicating anxiety with kava can be accumulating harm and feel nothing at all until it…

Vitamin C cannot really be stockpiled, since the excess leaves in your urine. A, D, E and K are stored in fat, so a large daily dose keeps adding to itself.

Vitamin D is where this bites at the moment, after a lot of people started taking big amounts on their own during the pandemic years. If you are…

Omega supplements thin the blood, so they usually do not belong alongside warfarin. Bruising easily is often the first thing anyone notices.

One clinician worked out that her husband's bruising came from taking omegas on top of his Coumadin, and it settled once his doctor told him to stop.…

If fish oil gives you those horrible repeats all afternoon, that is a fixable problem rather than a reason to stop. Keep the capsules in the freezer, ask about an enteric coated version, or try a flavoured liquid.

Sticking with something usually fails for small unglamorous reasons like this. Someone with a sensitive palate will not last four weeks with an…

The speed is why these work and also what they cost. Relief that lands within the half hour is the most teachable kind there is, and what it teaches is to reach for it sooner next time.

How fast a drug comes on drives that learning more than how long it hangs around afterwards. Better to name it out loud with someone than leave them…

Drug names ending in pam or lam are almost always benzodiazepines. It is a quick way to pick the class out of somebody's medication list.

The ending tracks a shared chemical backbone, so the shortcut is not a coincidence. Keep a rough rule alongside it: this class suits sharp fear…