Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

14 practices

Affection and touch A minute Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 14 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for

Me 14 My husband or wife 14

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 12 On my own 2

Theme · Affection and touch

Staying regulated in conflict 46 The moment before you snap 39 Choosing your response 36 Cool the body first 34 Grounding and settling 28 What anger actually is 26 Your nervous system 25 Medication and how it works 25 Systems for daily life 24 Bringing the future closer 22 The fear underneath anger 22 Answering bids 22 Get started 20 Treatment and medication 18 Your sense of time 17 Equanimity and perspective 17 Structure and routine 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Growing empathy 14 Affection and touch 14 Practising under provocation 14 Making it stick 14 Knowing your partner 14 Repair after rupture 13 Touch and bodywork 13 Feelings and focus 12 Getting assessed and diagnosed 11 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 The cost of avoiding 9 Breathing 9 Gratitude 9 When everything feels flat 9 Moving your body 9 Exercise, food and other supports 9 What ADHD actually is 8 Being seen and judged 8 Tolerate distress 8 Listening and understanding 8 Treatment and medication 8 Remembering to do it 7 Screens and attention 7 Rituals of connection 6 Shame and stigma 6 Shared spiritual life 6 What worry does 6 What you are actually defending 6 Feeling from the inside 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Shame 5 Emotions as signals 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Self-compassion 4 Question the thought 4 Facing it a step at a time 3 Safety and grounding 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 When you use something to cope 3 Name what you feel 3 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Patience and trust 2 Calm the body 2 Panic and the body 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 Meaning after harm 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Let the wave come 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Working with anger 2 Breaking the worry loop 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Hold a boundary 2 Ride the urge 2 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Listen to the body 1 When you go numb 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Ask and say no well 1 Act on your values 1 Keep the bond 1 Rest and pacing 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 8 Core 4 Gottman 2

When

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 6 After a row 1 Coming and going 1

When your spouse is hurting today, be the place they come to, not one more thing to manage.

Move toward the pain, not away. A hand, a nearness, a steady I am here.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

When fear or hurt makes you want to hide today, reach for your spouse instead.

The instinct is to withdraw. Do the opposite: move toward, take a hand, let them in.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

When your spouse reaches today, respond with tenderness before anything else.

Not advice, not a fix. First a soft word or a warm hand, then the rest.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159

After a hard moment today, hold each other before you move on.

Words can wait. A held embrace after conflict settles the body and the bond.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Give your spouse one embrace today that lasts longer than usual, until you both soften.

A hug held past the polite second. Long enough for the shoulders to drop.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

When your spouse is overwhelmed today, sit close and let your calm steady them.

You do not have to fix it. A steady body beside a flooded one helps it settle.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

Offer your spouse warm touch today with nothing asked in return.

A hand on the shoulder, a passing squeeze. Contact that is only kindness, not a request.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Let your presence be the place your spouse can fall apart safely today.

No performance required with you. Make your nearness the one place they can just be.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Make one greeting or parting linger a few seconds longer than usual today.

A held hug at the door, a real kiss, not the quick automatic one. Let it last.

A minuteAffection and touchGottmanQur’an 30:21

Touch them once today with nothing else attached.

A hand on the shoulder as you pass. Sitting close on the sofa. Reaching for their hand while you talk about nothing. No agenda, no next step. Just…

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

Hold their hand while you talk about something completely ordinary.

Touch with no request attached is a language of safety all its own.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

When they are upset, move physically closer before you say anything.

Nearness often comforts before any words can, and asks nothing in return.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

Make them laugh once today, on purpose.

Shared lightness is not frivolous; it is a thread that keeps two people close.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 2:187

Kiss, hold, and touch each other daily, at partings, reunions, and before bed. Learn the touch your partner likes.

Affection is not only for special moments. Small, regular touch keeps warmth and closeness alive.

A minuteAffection and touchGottmanQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.