Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 34Grounding and settling 28What anger actually is 26Your nervous system 25Medication and how it works 25Systems for daily life 24Bringing the future closer 22The fear underneath anger 22Answering bids 22Get started 20Treatment and medication 18Your sense of time 17Equanimity and perspective 17Structure and routine 16Fondness and admiration 15Knowing your partner 14Practising under provocation 14Affection and touch 14Making it stick 14Growing empathy 14Repair after rupture 13Touch and bodywork 13Feelings and focus 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Getting assessed and diagnosed 11Moving your body 9The cost of avoiding 9When everything feels flat 9Exercise, food and other supports 9Gratitude 9Breathing 9Listening and understanding 8Being seen and judged 8What ADHD actually is 8Treatment and medication 8Tolerate distress 8Screens and attention 7Remembering to do it 7What you are actually defending 6Shame and stigma 6Shared spiritual life 6Rituals of connection 6What worry does 6Shame 5Rebuilding trust 5Feeling from the inside 5Emotions as signals 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Name what you feel 3When you use something to cope 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Safety and grounding 3Facing it a step at a time 3Panic and the body 2When anger turns to harm 2Calm the body 2Hold a boundary 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Let the wave come 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Your window of tolerance 1Rest and pacing 1Act on your values 1When you go numb 1Listen to the body 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
When

If you are being assessed for attention, say something about your mood and your worry as well, even if nobody asks.

Anxiety and low mood sit alongside ADHD often enough that a thorough assessment will go looking for them anyway. But shame is quiet, and years of…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

When someone says they feel restless inside, ask what the restlessness wants. Restless to move, or restless to do one particular thing until it feels right?

The two feel similar from the inside and point in different directions. With ADHD it is usually undirected: the legs go, the chair is wrong, you need…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 91:8

A distracted person can be brought back with a nudge. Someone who has gone elsewhere cannot, and the difference shows itself in a couple of seconds.

Say their name, ask something simple, and watch what returns. Attention that has drifted comes back with a small apology and picks the thread up…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

Try not to ask why. If the person knew why, they would probably have sorted it out already, and the question tends to land like an accusation.

Ask what happened just before instead. What was going on, what they felt, what came after, what sort of day it had been. Those answers can be worked…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

If someone was adopted, or simply does not know their family history, say early and plainly that this is not a problem. It helps to have and it is not needed.

Otherwise the question lands as one more reminder of what is missing, and some people will spend the rest of the appointment feeling they brought the…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

Some of what looks like muddle is the system's fault. Our tenth month is named for eight, because two months were added later and nobody renamed the rest.

Worth saying to anyone who feels stupid about dates and forms. A calendar whose numbers are out of step, a tax year starting in April, forms asking…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

When someone says their heart races on their medication, ask whether it ever did before they started. It is the cheapest question you have and it usually sorts the answer out.

Go looking for the old settings: waiting to be called on in class, standing outside a room before a difficult conversation, three in the morning with…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

While you are taking the family history, ask about seizure disorders and psychosis too, not only about attention. A family carrying other neurological or psychiatric conditions is worth knowing about whatever you end up concluding.

Keep the list short and ask it plainly: epilepsy, psychosis, learning difficulties, head injuries, anything neurological. Some of it will matter for…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216

Some people simply cannot get a family history. Refugee journeys, destroyed records, closed adoptions, families that did not survive. That is a gap in the paperwork and not evidence against the diagnosis.

Say so out loud, and write it in the notes as a gap rather than as a negative finding, so the next person reading does not mistake silence for an…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

One man put his lamps on a timer so the room would go dark at eleven and send him to bed. It worked for a few nights. Then he simply carried on in the dark. A cue can tell you the time. It cannot make you stand up.

Worth remembering before you build anything clever. If the pull of whatever a person is already doing is stronger than the nudge you have designed,…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

'I set a reminder and still did not do it' is not a story about a bad reminder. It tells you the missing piece was never information, and a bigger, louder version of the same thing will fail in the same way.

The reflex is to escalate: three alarms, a different app, an entire new system built on Sunday night. What is needed is a change of kind, something…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.