Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

63 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61Staying regulated in conflict 60What anger actually is 60Get started 48Moving your body 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44Bringing the future closer 43The moment before you snap 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Feelings and focus 38Touch and bodywork 38Screens and attention 32When everything feels flat 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27The cost of avoiding 26Structure and routine 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Cool the body first 20What you are actually defending 20Emotions as signals 20Treatment and medication 20Breathing 19Repair after rupture 19Making it stick 19Being seen and judged 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Shame and stigma 14Breaking the worry loop 14Rituals of connection 13Remembering to do it 13Listening and understanding 13Feeling from the inside 12When you use something to cope 11When anger turns to harm 11Tolerate distress 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Gratitude 9Facing it a step at a time 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Obsessions and compulsions 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Let the wave come 3Shame 3Act on your values 3Panic and the body 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Listen to the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Rest and pacing 2Work with your brain 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Patience and trust 2Validate yourself and others 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Ride the urge 2Ask and say no well 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
When

When someone says they feel restless inside, ask what the restlessness wants. Restless to move, or restless to do one particular thing until it feels right?

The two feel similar from the inside and point in different directions. With ADHD it is usually undirected: the legs go, the chair is wrong, you need…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 91:8

A distracted person can be brought back with a nudge. Someone who has gone elsewhere cannot, and the difference shows itself in a couple of seconds.

Say their name, ask something simple, and watch what returns. Attention that has drifted comes back with a small apology and picks the thread up…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

Try not to ask why. If the person knew why, they would probably have sorted it out already, and the question tends to land like an accusation.

Ask what happened just before instead. What was going on, what they felt, what came after, what sort of day it had been. Those answers can be worked…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

When someone says their heart races on their medication, ask whether it ever did before they started. It is the cheapest question you have and it usually sorts the answer out.

Go looking for the old settings: waiting to be called on in class, standing outside a room before a difficult conversation, three in the morning with…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

While you are taking the family history, ask about seizure disorders and psychosis too, not only about attention. A family carrying other neurological or psychiatric conditions is worth knowing about whatever you end up concluding.

Keep the list short and ask it plainly: epilepsy, psychosis, learning difficulties, head injuries, anything neurological. Some of it will matter for…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216

Some people simply cannot get a family history. Refugee journeys, destroyed records, closed adoptions, families that did not survive. That is a gap in the paperwork and not evidence against the diagnosis.

Say so out loud, and write it in the notes as a gap rather than as a negative finding, so the next person reading does not mistake silence for an…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

One man put his lamps on a timer so the room would go dark at eleven and send him to bed. It worked for a few nights. Then he simply carried on in the dark. A cue can tell you the time. It cannot make you stand up.

Worth remembering before you build anything clever. If the pull of whatever a person is already doing is stronger than the nudge you have designed,…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

An ADHD diagnosis usually arrives with two extra words attached: which presentation it is, and how severe. Both are descriptions of what gets in your way, not a grade you were awarded.

Inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive, or the two together, and then mild, moderate or severe. Mild means you met the threshold and the effect on…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

Hyperactivity and impulsiveness almost never turn up alone. When restlessness appears with no attention difficulty beside it, that is a reason to ask what else might be going on.

In practice the two run together, and over the years the visible restlessness tends to settle while the attention side stays. So a picture that is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

The diagnostic manual is a document people sat in rooms and argued over. That is no reason to dismiss it, and it is a good reason not to treat it as the last word on you.

Committees weigh how reliably clinicians can agree on a criterion, what the field trials show, what a particular wording will do out in the world.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

The checklists were built around the loud version of this, and girls are more often the quiet version. If she is struggling and nobody has ever suggested an assessment, that is worth pressing on.

Defiance in girls can look like refusal, withdrawal or a long-running argument about friendships rather than the disruption a teacher would report.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Most autistic people also meet the criteria for ADHD. The other direction is much thinner: only a small minority of people with ADHD meet the criteria for autism.

That is mostly arithmetic rather than mystery. ADHD is the more common of the two, so one overlap looks large from one side and small from the other.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7

Autism and ADHD share some surface features and are still two different things. The social difficulty in each arrives by a different road.

With ADHD it tends to be impulsiveness and missing what was going on: the interruption, the thing said too fast, the friend never rung back. With…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

A reward that comes every time is easy to walk away from. A reward that turns up unpredictably is the one you cannot put down, and that is exactly how your phone is built.

Sometimes there is something good in the notifications and usually there is not, and it is that uncertainty which keeps you checking. Willpower is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:186

When you read that some proportion of people with ADHD have a particular problem, the number tells you nothing until you know the figure for everybody else.

Twenty percent sounds alarming until you learn what the rate is in the general population. What matters is the multiple, how many times more likely,…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Hypervigilance after trauma and ADHD scanning look much alike from outside. Often the honest answer is that both are present, and the real question is how much of each.

Watching that comes from threat is aimed at something and tends to switch on in particular situations. ADHD distraction is not fussy about where it…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

Damage to the front of the brain can produce something that looks a great deal like ADHD: poor impulse control, blunted judgement, a person their family says has changed.

The nineteenth century railway worker who survived an iron rod through the frontal lobes is the standard illustration, and what altered in him was…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

Check the licensing before assuming you cannot afford a good instrument. Some come with permission to photocopy once you have bought the manual.

That detail matters most to the clinicians least likely to have a budget, which usually means the services seeing the families with fewest options. A…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

There is more than one decent instrument, and which you use often comes down to what you were trained on. If you have never used one, say so rather than having a view about it.

Several rating scales are in wide circulation for children and for adults, validated by different groups for slightly different purposes. Picking one…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

Home DNA tests turn up relatives nobody expected. If someone is thinking of taking one to fill in a blank family history, it is worth saying out loud that it may hand them more than they asked for.

People find half siblings. Sometimes they find that the story they were told about their birth was not the story. That is a great deal to receive by…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 50:16

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