AreasFocus, starting, and ADHD

Focus, starting, and ADHD

Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.

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7 practices
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How long you have · A minute
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When · In a change

The planning part of the brain is the last to finish growing, and it keeps developing well into the twenties. Eighteen is a legal age rather than a developmental one.

This is worth saying plainly in a family where someone is being asked why they cannot just be responsible now. Nobody expects a fourteen year old to…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

With attention difficulties the organising side often runs a few years behind the birthday. A nineteen year old may be running life more like a sixteen year old, and that is a lag rather than a verdict.

Set expectations against where someone actually is instead of what year they were born in. That way the support that felt normal at school does not…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

If a year out is coming, call it a bridge rather than a gap. A gap is a hole in a record. A bridge is going somewhere.

That word will be repeated at every family gathering for twelve months, so it is worth choosing carefully. A bridge year has a direction and an end,…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

If you are living on campus, ask the pharmacist to split the month's supply across two labelled bottles. Then whichever one you are carrying has a valid prescription label on it.

Carrying a controlled medicine loose in a bag, or in an unlabelled tin, is a disciplinary and sometimes legal problem quite separate from any medical…

A minuteMedication and how it worksMedical and treatmentQur’an 42:38

Writing 'do not substitute' on a prescription tells the pharmacist what to hand over. It does not tell an insurer to pay for it, and that surprise at the counter is where a lot of prescriptions quietly get abandoned.

If a particular brand is being chosen for a reason, say out loud what it might cost and what the fallback is if the price turns out to be impossible.…

A minuteMedication and how it worksMedical and treatmentQur’an 12:67

One man with ADHD described the goal as no longer suffering from it, only having it. The diagnosis had not changed. What it cost him had.

Half of that shift comes from removing particular sources of pain: the job that was never going to work, the arrangement at home that left everything…

A minuteSelf-compassionADHD skillsQur’an 94:1

Instead of one warning, give several: half an hour, fifteen minutes, five, one. The child then has time to arrive at the ending rather than having it dropped on them.

A single warning asks a child to track the gap on their own, which is the thing they cannot do. A ladder of prompts turns a stretch of time into a…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:39