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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

413 practices
Coping, mostly remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 145Your marriage 123Worry and anxiety 46Your body 40Anger 35Low mood and hard feelings 16Yourself and your limits 3After harm 3Grief and loss 2
How long you have
A minute 124Five minutes 189Twenty minutes 81Longer 19
Who it is written for
Me 282A practitioner 275Someone I care about 223My husband or wife 146
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 413Getting ready for something 106Struggling right now 106
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154
Theme
Medication and how it works 34Systems for daily life 24Staying regulated in conflict 24The cost of avoiding 20Moving your body 16Knowing your partner 15Rebuilding trust 14Affection and touch 13Exercise, food and other supports 13Listening and understanding 12Screens and attention 12Repair after rupture 11Answering bids 11Rituals of connection 11Shared spiritual life 10Bringing the future closer 8Your nervous system 8What anger actually is 8Feelings and focus 8Your sense of time 7What ADHD actually is 7Treatment and medication 7Breaking the worry loop 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Structure and routine 7Growing empathy 6Equanimity and perspective 6What worry does 6Food, caffeine and fuel 5Get started 5Emotions as signals 5Treatment and medication 4When everything feels flat 4Grounding and settling 4When you use something to cope 4Breathing 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 3The moment before you snap 3Facing it a step at a time 3Choosing your response 3Ask and say no well 2Gratitude 2Fondness and admiration 2Shame and stigma 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Remembering to do it 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Help someone grieving 2Tolerate distress 2Touch and bodywork 2What you are actually defending 2The fear underneath anger 2Panic and the body 2Being seen and judged 2Shame 1Practising under provocation 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Validate yourself and others 1Cool the body first 1Safety and grounding 1
Approach
Medical and treatment 84ADHD skills 79Gottman 70CBT 48Core 47Emotionally focused 42Body based 22DBT skills 8Mindfulness 7Trauma informed 3Grief 2Narrative 1
When
Any ordinary day 282After a row 51Under stress 50Coming and going 14In a change 10Something good 3When apart 3

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.

Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 4:128

That flash of temper when someone meets a fact that undoes their story is not stupidity. It is a mind defending its own shape, which is a real need rather than a shameful one.

Say this to yourself before you say anything to them, because contempt carries in the voice even when it stays out of the words. Being wrong and not…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:286

When something in the room or in the wider world unsettles you, saying so as your own unease usually travels further than handing down a verdict.

A verdict invites a counter verdict, and then the two of you are in a match. Naming what you notice in yourself gives the other person somewhere to…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:143

Someone who holds themselves to an exact standard will often hear a gentle correction as an attack. With them the useful thing is timing: build some trust before you offer the other way of seeing it.

The reframe you have ready is probably right and probably too early. Consistency matters enormously to this person, so an alternative view is not…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 16:125

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

When fear rises, being near a calm, safe person, or turning to God's remembrance, helps your body borrow that steadiness.

Our nervous systems settle in the presence of safety. A calm, attuned other, or a steadying practice of remembrance, sends the body cues of safety…

A minuteSafety and groundingTrauma informedQur’an 13:28

One gentle way to name it: those are being used as words to play with, and they were never really words for playing with. Said kindly, it lands without anyone being told off.

The young person in front of you almost certainly says it too, so any version that sounds like a reprimand will close the conversation down. Naming…

A minuteScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 25:72

If the screen limit in your house is only your preference, every evening turns into a negotiation about your preference. Borrowing a published figure, roughly two hours a day of leisure screen time for a child over two, moves the argument off you.

The carve-outs matter as much as the number. A video call with a grandparent is a conversation, and a laptop open for homework is schoolwork, so…

Five minutesScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 7:31

More hours on social media goes with more anxiety and low mood. That is a reason to aim at fewer hours, a conversation you can actually have, rather than at none, which usually ends the conversation.

Pick a number genuinely below the current one and low enough to notice, then look at what has changed in a fortnight. Sleep and mood are the things…

Five minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 25:67

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.