Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices

Rituals of connection Involves someone else Clear all

How long you have

A minute 4 Five minutes 3 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

Me 11 My husband or wife 11

On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else

Involves someone else 11 On my own 2

Theme · Rituals of connection

Medication and how it works 61 Systems for daily life 37 The cost of avoiding 36 Screens and attention 26 Staying regulated in conflict 24 Moving your body 21 Treatment and medication 20 Knowing your partner 15 Exercise, food and other supports 15 Rebuilding trust 14 What anger actually is 13 What ADHD actually is 13 Feelings and focus 13 Affection and touch 13 Listening and understanding 12 Breaking the worry loop 11 Rituals of connection 11 Your nervous system 11 Repair after rupture 11 Answering bids 11 Your sense of time 11 Structure and routine 10 Getting assessed and diagnosed 10 Facing it a step at a time 10 Food, caffeine and fuel 10 The moment before you snap 10 Shared spiritual life 10 What worry does 10 Grounding and settling 9 Bringing the future closer 9 When everything feels flat 7 Breathing 7 Choosing your response 7 Cool the body first 7 Emotions as signals 7 Growing empathy 7 Equanimity and perspective 7 Get started 7 Treatment and medication 7 Remembering to do it 6 Reading, numbers and learning differences 6 When you use something to cope 5 Shame and stigma 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Touch and bodywork 4 Tolerate distress 4 Practising under provocation 3 Making it stick 3 Being seen and judged 3 Panic and the body 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Righteous anger and perfectionism 3 Gratitude 2 Fondness and admiration 2 The fear underneath anger 2 Feeling from the inside 2 Ask and say no well 2 What you are actually defending 2 Rest and pacing 2 Shame 2 Help someone grieving 2 Safety and grounding 1 Validate yourself and others 1 When you go numb 1 Living with uncertainty 1

Approach

Gottman 6 Core 3 Emotionally focused 2

When

Any ordinary day 7 Coming and going 3 Something good 1

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.