Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices

Rituals of connection Clear all

How long you have

A minute 6 Five minutes 3 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

Me 13 My husband or wife 13

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 11 On my own 2

Theme · Rituals of connection

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Moving your body 71 Treatment and medication 71 Grounding and settling 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Staying regulated in conflict 65 Touch and bodywork 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Cool the body first 65 Screens and attention 62 The fear underneath anger 61 Exercise, food and other supports 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Shame and stigma 35 Breathing 35 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 What worry does 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Feeling from the inside 25 Knowing your partner 25 What you are actually defending 24 Answering bids 24 When you use something to cope 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Living with uncertainty 5 Rest and pacing 5 Panic and the body 5 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Name what you feel 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Let the wave come 3 Calm the body 3 Act on your values 3 Listen to the body 2 Patience and trust 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Get it out of your head 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Ask and say no well 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Ride the urge 2 Find meaning 2

Approach

Gottman 6 Core 5 Emotionally focused 2

When

Any ordinary day 7 Coming and going 5 Something good 1

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Do not let leaving or arriving happen silently.

Today, mark both thresholds. Before you leave, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face. When you come back, find them before you do…

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

When you come home, find them first, before the post, the phone, the kitchen.

The first half-minute of reunion often sets the tone for the whole evening.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.