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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1158 practices
Coping, mostly remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 397Anger 309Your body 185Your marriage 101Low mood and hard feelings 69Worry and anxiety 63After harm 14Grief and loss 11Yourself and your limits 9
How long you have
A minute 399Five minutes 571Twenty minutes 134Longer 54
Who it is written for
Me 1094A practitioner 965Someone I care about 569My husband or wife 133
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 1158Struggling right now 563Getting ready for something 253
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154
Theme
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Get started 41Choosing your response 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Touch and bodywork 30Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Treatment and medication 27Exercise, food and other supports 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Making it stick 18Structure and routine 18Cool the body first 18What worry does 17Screens and attention 17What you are actually defending 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Self-compassion 8Emotions as signals 8Breaking the worry loop 7When you use something to cope 7Use your strengths 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Let the wave come 3Safety and grounding 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Rebuilding trust 3Your worth is not conditional 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Rituals of connection 2When you go numb 1The cost of avoiding 1Panic and the body 1Validate yourself and others 1Living with uncertainty 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
ADHD skills 271Core 235Medical and treatment 212Body based 139Mindfulness 91CBT 82Gottman 38Emotionally focused 36DBT skills 20Trauma informed 17Grief 11Narrative 5Parts work 1
When
Any ordinary day 897Under stress 164After a row 61In a change 23Coming and going 10Something good 3

You do not have to agree that it will take longer. Add the extra time anyway and let the week prove you right or wrong. If you finish early, you have a spare twenty minutes, which is not a punishment.

This matters because the felt sense of duration is stubborn, and waiting until it corrects itself means waiting a long while. So treat the padding as…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5

For a lot of people with ADHD there are only two times: now, and not now. A deadline on Thursday and one six months out sit in the same box until the day they suddenly become today.

This is worth knowing because it explains why being told the date again does nothing. You knew the date. What was missing was the sense of it coming…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 23:113

Spotting on day one that a procedure is pointless is a real skill. Saying so in the first meeting is the part that costs people the job.

The observation is rarely the problem. It is that it arrives before anyone asked, from someone who has been there a fortnight, often with the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Every trait worth having here arrives with its twin. A love of the offbeat and a real problem with deadlines are the same wiring seen from two sides.

Strength lists that leave the cost out are not believable and they do not help anybody. Pair them instead. If you are the one who finds the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:38

A clever workaround can hide a difficulty for years. A child who memorises what he cannot read looks fine, right up until the amount to be read grows past what memory can carry.

So do not judge by output alone. Ask what it cost to produce. Someone keeping up but exhausted, dreading the reading, staying up late to cover it, is…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Think of your sense of the future as how far out to sea you can spot a ship. How far depends on your eyesight, and also on how big and bright the ship is and what the weather is doing.

That last part is the useful bit. The same person sees a wedding six months off perfectly clearly and misses a form due on Tuesday completely,…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:39

How far ahead a person can hold in mind grows as they get older. A five year old on Monday does not care about Saturday, a fifteen year old should, and by thirty most people can worry about a pension.

Reading it that way changes what you are looking at. The question is not whether someone cares but whether their reach is what you would expect at…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 22:5

If it is not happening now, it is often not being thought about at all. Not faintly, not somewhere in the background. Not there.

That changes what a reminder has to do. Turning up the volume on a faint signal is useless when there is no signal at all. The thing has to be made…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

There are two quite different ways of putting things off. One is anxious and full of dread. The other is perfectly calm until the pressure arrives, and then everything happens at once.

The difference matters because the help is not the same. Where there is dread, the work is with the fear, and approaching the task in small doses…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5

A small job due tomorrow feels heavier than a big one due next week. Everyone works this way. It is simply stronger with ADHD, and it quietly wrecks any list ordered by importance.

Which is why ranking tasks by what matters most tends to fall apart by Tuesday. Your felt sense of weight is set by how near a thing is, so an…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:11

Fun things serve the present. Important things serve the future. Put like that, you can see why the advice to just do the important thing is asking rather a lot.

It asks you to act on the part of the picture you can least feel. So let the important thing serve the present a bit too: do it with someone, do it…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:1

The further off something sits, the less it weighs on today's decision. That is not a flaw in your reasoning. It is how the weighing works for everybody.

It also explains something that often gets read as dishonesty. The plan you made on Monday was sincere. By Thursday the reward for keeping it has…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

One more episode tonight is obviously worth it, and by eleven the next morning it obviously was not. Nothing changed except where you were standing in time.

Everyone recognises this, which makes it a good thing to notice rather than a private failing. The exchange rate flips overnight: tomorrow's…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:10

When a deadline or a reward sits a long way off, it can feel almost weightless, while the thing in front of you feels enormous. That is not you being shallow. It is a shortened view of time doing what it does.

You can notice it in the gap between what you know and what you feel. You know the report matters more than the tidying, it just does not feel that…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

How long will this take is really several questions at once. There is the doing, and there is finding everything you need before you can start, and the second one is usually missing from the guess.

Next time you estimate something, split it out loud: how long to gather what I need, how long to actually do it, how long to put it all away again.…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Think of the small repair job that swallows an hour because the right screw is not in the drawer. That hour was always part of the job. It just was not part of the picture in your head.

The same thing happens with paperwork, only less visibly: the ten minute form needs a reference number that lives in an email you cannot find. When…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 6:96

The more you have to look up before you can begin, the further the real time drifts from your guess. Every search is also a door left open, and some of them lead somewhere else entirely.

Booking a trip is the clearest case: one question about dates becomes four tabs and an hour gone. A decent defence is to do the looking up as its own…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 18:19

Nobody works five hours straight. If your estimate assumes you will, then the shortfall gets read as you being slow rather than as the estimate being wrong.

For anything long, put the breaks into the number before you start. Say four hours of work plus the standing up, the kettle, the two interruptions,…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 40:61

If an hour of real work reliably eats two hours of clock, book two. You do not have to become a better estimator to end up with a schedule that works.

Take a fortnight of honest evidence and work out your own number. Some people run at one and a half, some nearer three, and it shifts with the type…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:38

Set the limit while you are calm and let the device hold it. A computer that shuts itself down at half past ten is arguing with nobody, which is why it wins.

Screens, browser blockers, a plug timer on the television: pick whichever you will not immediately undo. The point is to move the decision away from…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.