Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

41 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Get started
Your nervous system 52Medication and how it works 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Food, caffeine and fuel 19Practising under provocation 19Cool the body first 18Making it stick 18Structure and routine 18Screens and attention 17What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Emotions as signals 8Self-compassion 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7When you use something to cope 7Shared spiritual life 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1

Rest a hand on your forehead for a second and ask where your attention is actually pointing right now. Not where it ought to be, just where it is.

Attention drifts quietly, so twenty minutes can go without you ever deciding anything. A small physical gesture gives the question something to hook…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Before you decide, stop and picture Thursday twice: once having done a bit of this today, once not. Let both of them land properly.

The comparison is what does the work. A single imagined outcome is easy to shrug off, but holding the two side by side makes the cost of waiting…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

Take half a minute and see Thursday night in detail, both versions: the one where you did some of this today, and the one where you did not.

Knowing about a deadline does almost nothing. Feeling it does the work, and feeling arrives through detail. The lamp still on, what is open on the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

I will remember that. I can do it later. I will work better after I have just checked my email. Three sentences that cost most of us a great deal.

Each one is true occasionally, which is precisely why it survives. You did remember something once, and you were productive after a snack that one…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 51:50

The good news is that most of us only run three or four of these. A short list is something you can genuinely keep an eye on.

Notice your distortions is far too big an instruction to follow. Three named sentences in your own words is not. Write them on a card, keep it where…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

Next time you tell yourself you will remember it, ask what you would bet on that. A month's rent, for or against. The answer usually arrives before you have finished asking.

Turning a comfortable belief into a wager makes its odds obvious, and it does it without a row. Keep it light and a bit silly, because the point is…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

When you finish the dull task, give yourself something you actually like. A reward you do not really want does no work at all.

Choose it before you start and make it specific: the good coffee rather than whatever is in the cupboard, half an hour of the thing you keep…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

When you get something hard done, resist waving it off with "anyone could have done that". Let it count.

That reflex is common in people who have spent years falling short of what they meant to do, and it quietly cancels the good of finishing. Try the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

There is a sort of avoidance that looks like getting things done. Sorting the drawer, clearing the inbox, any mildly useful job that is not the one you are dreading.

It is harder to catch than obvious time wasting because it leaves you nothing to feel guilty about. At the end of the day the shelf is tidy, the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Rather than asking whether what you are doing is worthwhile, ask what it is keeping you away from.

The first question is too easy to pass. Almost anything you are doing can be defended as useful, which is why it never catches you out. The second…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Shrink the first step until it takes two minutes, and do only that.

The wall is usually the size of the first step, not the whole task. Make the step tiny enough to fall over.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Do not wait to feel ready. Say Musa's prayer, ease my task, and take one step; the wish to go on comes after.

Motivation usually follows action, not the other way round. Start badly if you must, but start.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

Not all delaying is the same thing. Some of it is wanting it perfect, some of it is expecting to fail the way you did last time, and some of it is being genuinely busy with everything except the one job.

They need different answers. If it is standards, agree on a worse version and hand that in. If it is old failure, pick something small enough to…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

The hardest kind of delaying to catch is the useful kind. You clear the inbox, sort the cupboard, answer three messages, and all of it is real work, and none of it is the thing.

It feels virtuous, which is why it survives so long. A quick test at the end of the day: is the thing I least wanted to do any closer than it was…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Instead of imagining consequences in general, remember one actual night you left it too late, and one actual time you started early. Your own memory carries a weight that a general warning never will.

Pick specific ones. The evening the printer failed at eleven, and the morning you had already finished and went out for a walk instead. Bring back…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Try giving the two of you names. Monday you keeps leaving messes for Thursday you, and Thursday you is getting fed up about it. Say it out loud and let it be a bit ridiculous.

The silliness is the point. Your future self can feel like a stranger you owe nothing to, and turning that person into a character with a grievance…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

Nobody needs help starting the things they enjoy. The skill worth building is starting the dull ones, and it is a narrower skill than it looks.

This is why being able to play a game for four hours tells you nothing about whether starting is hard for you. Treat the boring task as its own…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Getting yourself going today usually means borrowing a feeling from later in the week. You are not summoning willpower so much as bringing Thursday's relief, or Thursday's panic, forward into Monday.

If that transfer is hard for you, the answer is not to try harder but to make the future more present: the date written where you will see it, a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.

It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.