Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Remembering to do it
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Food, caffeine and fuel 19Practising under provocation 19Cool the body first 18Making it stick 18Structure and routine 18Screens and attention 17What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Emotions as signals 8Self-compassion 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7When you use something to cope 7Shared spiritual life 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1

Most of what we call memory looks backwards. The kind that actually runs your week is the other sort: a plan that has to show up in your head at the one moment you could still act on it.

So when something gets missed, the question is not really whether you knew about it. You almost certainly did, at the time you agreed to it. What…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

A thought you have in the car about something to say at home is worth nothing until the person is actually there in front of you. Cues have to sit where the action becomes possible, not where you happened to think of it.

Picture where you will be at the moment the thing can be done, and put the reminder there: a note on the front door for something that happens on the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

The moment you think of it is the only moment you are certain to have it. Do the thing, or write it down, or set the alarm, or put something odd in your pocket that will make no sense later until you check.

The two seconds of holding it in mind while you finish what you are doing is usually where it disappears. So make capture the reflex instead of the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

Start the email and then stop: address it, write the subject line, leave it unsent. The half finished thing sits in your drafts looking wrong until you deal with it.

It works because it leaves an odd looking object in a place you already go, and because unfinished jobs nag in a way that quiet decisions do not.…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 87:9

The bag that has to travel with you tomorrow goes on top of your shoes, not neatly beside the desk. Let the object stand in the way of a route you walk without thinking.

The phrase worth keeping is point of performance: the reminder has to sit where the action happens, at the time it has to happen. A note on the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

Sometimes you cannot write it down. You are driving, your hands are full, you are halfway through a conversation. Then picture the moment in detail instead: the room you will be standing in, the object you will be looking at when you do it.

Make the picture concrete rather than worthy. Not a solemn 'I must ring the surgery' but the desk you will be sitting at, the mug beside the phone,…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Remembering to do something later is really two jobs stacked on each other. You have to keep hold of the thing itself, and you have to keep some feel for how the hours are passing, and both have to be working at the same moment.

That is why this fails more often than either piece alone, and why it is the failure other people see. Seeing it as two jobs splits the fix in two as…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 20:115

Add up what forgetting costs you in money over a year. Late fees, the higher interest that comes with a dented credit score, next day delivery bought at eleven at night for a birthday you have known about since January.

Being told to get organised in the abstract lands on nothing. A number lands. Put last year's late charges and rush postage at the top of the page…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 17:34

Notice how often a forgotten job turns up in the shower, or halfway up a flight of stairs. That is not coincidence: when nothing is holding your attention, the things you meant to do float up.

Which means those minutes are quietly doing work, and filling every one of them with a phone takes the mechanism away. Keep something to capture with…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 20:14

When someone hands you a date, the useful move is not writing the date down. Open your calendar there and then and decide the hour the work will actually happen.

A deadline only announces itself at the very end, when there is no room left to do anything about it. Booking the doing rather than the due date…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Take one of the gaps you already have, the commute or the walk or the shower, and use it to ask what is coming up this week and what might be slipping. No new tool, no new app, just the question.

That turns something accidental into something you can count on. It works best in the same place each time, so that the place starts asking the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.