Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

52 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Your nervous system
Your nervous system 52Medication and how it works 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Making it stick 18Cool the body first 18Structure and routine 18What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Screens and attention 17Treatment and medication 16Breathing 15Growing empathy 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Self-compassion 8Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Emotions as signals 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7When you use something to cope 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6When anger turns to harm 5Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Rebuilding trust 3Calm the body 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Let the wave come 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Listen to the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1Panic and the body 1
Approach
When

Most of the traffic on the nerve joining your gut, heart and lungs to your brain is heading upwards. When your stomach turns or your chest tightens, your body is reporting in.

It helps to treat those sensations as messages rather than faults to be got rid of. Next time your stomach drops before a difficult phone call, try…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16

You can tell you are settled by small signs: your breath sits low in your belly, feelings arrive in waves rather than floods, and you can think and feel at the same time.

Other markers: your voice has some tune in it, you can take in new information, you can read what is happening on someone else's face. Knowing your…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 48:4

You will stop doing this once you feel better. Write it on your list of things that help, so it is there next time instead of forgotten.

Adherence fades the same way it does with exercise, and the fading is not a character flaw. The trouble is that when you next need it you will be in…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

A gut feeling is a real signal rather than a turn of phrase. The chemicals that carry emotion in your brain are also at work in your heart and your gut.

This matters most if you grew up being told your read on a situation was wrong. Noticing the sensation, naming it, then checking it against what you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7

The calm and connected part of this system speaks through your face, your voice, your ears and your heart. That is why those are the places to work.

A softer face, a slower voice, unhurried breathing and something friendly to look at are not decoration. They are the reachable end of the circuit…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78

Breathing that has gone almost invisible happens in both kinds of stillness, so it will not tell you which one you are looking at. Muscle tone will.

Look at the jaw, the hands, the shoulders, the way the body is being held in the chair. Tight and set is one thing. Slack and heavy is another. You…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

Stand on one foot for half a minute, a hand on a chair if you need it, and put all your attention into the foot on the floor.

You will find it is never still. There is a constant small negotiation towards the toes, the heel, one side and back again, and every so often you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

Try locking your ankle and holding everything rigid while you balance. You will fall over. The wobble was doing the work.

People who are frightened of losing control often try to hold themselves regulated: clamped, monitoring, allowing no drift. It is exhausting and it…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28

There are small signs that somebody has come back into connection: light in the eyes, a bit of music in the voice, a smile that arrives by itself.

They are easy to see once you know to look, and they are just as useful in reverse. If you are with someone difficult and your own voice has gone…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78

Breath does not always calm. For some people it opens the door to feeling, for others it puts a little distance in. Find out which it does for you today.

The instruction to breathe deeply gets handed out as though it settles everyone. Plenty of people find that attention to their breath brings the…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Your heart speeds up slightly on every breath in and slows on every breath out. Sit quietly with a hand on your chest and you can feel it.

This is why lengthening the out breath calms you and lengthening the in breath wakes you up. It also means you carry a working control that needs no…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 25:47

Hum a note you like for a few breaths, and try covering your ears with your palms so the sound fills your head.

The vibration carries through your throat and your inner ear, and humming lengthens the out breath for you without any counting. Choose your own note…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Breathe in, then push the air out gently against a closed throat, or against lightly pinched nostrils, for a couple of seconds.

The change of pressure in your chest is what does the work, and two or three rounds are enough to notice something. Keep it gentle. Straining is…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:1

Whatever happens in a session, the change gets built in the other hours. Choose things you can do at a bus stop with nothing in your hands.

There are roughly 167 waking hours a week outside an appointment, and that is where a practice either becomes yours or quietly disappears. Elaborate…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

The steadiness you are training shows up in more than your mood. Sleep, digestion and how quickly you come down after a fright tend to move together.

Worth knowing when progress on the thing you came for feels slow. People often notice they are sleeping better, or snapping less, before they notice…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

Body based practices sit alongside medication rather than replacing it. If you take something, you can do both.

They are worth having on the menu for people who cannot take medication, do not want to, or want something of their own to do as well. The skill you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4

A healthy heart rate is not a metronome. The small variations between beats are a sign your body can still adjust to what is in front of it.

Heart rate variability is exactly that: how much the gaps between beats change. More of it generally goes with a system that can speed up when needed…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 25:47

Rest your attention in the middle of your chest, let your breath slow as though it were moving in and out through there, and bring to mind something you feel warmly about.

A hand on your chest can help you find the place. The feeling does not have to be big: gratitude for something small, or the ordinary fondness you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28

Slow breathing on its own does less than slow breathing with a warm feeling attached and something showing you how you are doing.

That is the difference between the deep breathing most people have tried and found underwhelming, and this. The feedback matters because otherwise…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:152

Practise this when you are calm and again when you are wound up. The second one is what makes it available in the moment you need it.

Skills learned in one state can be strangely hard to find in another, which is why people say they forgot to use it. Do the first round with someone…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.