Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

65 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Get started
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49What ADHD actually is 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46When everything feels flat 44Exercise, food and other supports 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25What worry does 24Treatment and medication 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Remembering to do it 20Growing empathy 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Use your strengths 9Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Shared spiritual life 7When anger turns to harm 7Gratitude 7Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Rebuilding trust 3Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Let the wave come 3Calm the body 3The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Affection and touch 2Panic and the body 2Listen to the body 2Rituals of connection 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Ride the urge 2Care for yourself in loss 2Work with your brain 2Your window of tolerance 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1
When

Rest a hand on your forehead for a second and ask where your attention is actually pointing right now. Not where it ought to be, just where it is.

Attention drifts quietly, so twenty minutes can go without you ever deciding anything. A small physical gesture gives the question something to hook…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Everybody finds unrewarding tasks harder to start. If yours seem to cost several times what other people pay, that is a real difference in how your brain handles reward, not a flaw in your character.

It shows up worst on the jobs with nothing built into them: the form, the receipts, the email you have already read four times. Knowing the cost is…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

Before you decide, stop and picture Thursday twice: once having done a bit of this today, once not. Let both of them land properly.

The comparison is what does the work. A single imagined outcome is easy to shrug off, but holding the two side by side makes the cost of waiting…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

Notice the question you are asking yourself. If it is do I feel like doing this, the answer will be no today, no tomorrow, and no on the day it is due.

A question that always returns the same answer is not helping you decide anything. Swap it for a plainer one: what are the first two minutes of this,…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

You will not enjoy it on Thursday either. What Thursday takes away is the choice, not the dislike.

Underneath most delaying is a quiet hope that some future version of you will feel differently about the job. That version does not turn up. Once you…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 51:50

One question to keep in your pocket: if I skip this now, how will I feel about it on Thursday? Ask it at the door of the task, then move.

It is a small swap and it takes two seconds, which is what makes it usable when there is nobody around to prompt you. It shifts you off how the task…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

Make the first move small enough to be almost silly. Open the document and type the date. Put the trainers by the door. Everything after that is cheaper.

Nearly all the cost of a task sits at the entrance, so that is where your design effort should go. Decide the first physical action the night before,…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Take half a minute and see Thursday night in detail, both versions: the one where you did some of this today, and the one where you did not.

Knowing about a deadline does almost nothing. Feeling it does the work, and feeling arrives through detail. The lamp still on, what is open on the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Everything you say about how much you hate this job is probably true, and saying it again makes the job heavier. Notice the second or third round and stop there.

Complaining once is fine and often useful. The loop is what costs you, since each pass makes the task feel worse and spends the energy you were going…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 51:50

If some of your appointments make it into the calendar and some do not, that is still better than none of them. Half a system is not a failed system.

The usual way these things die is not gradual. You miss a few days, decide it is not working, and drop the whole thing, which puts you back where you…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

I will remember that. I can do it later. I will work better after I have just checked my email. Three sentences that cost most of us a great deal.

Each one is true occasionally, which is precisely why it survives. You did remember something once, and you were productive after a snack that one…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 51:50

The good news is that most of us only run three or four of these. A short list is something you can genuinely keep an eye on.

Notice your distortions is far too big an instruction to follow. Three named sentences in your own words is not. Write them on a card, keep it where…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

Next time you tell yourself you will remember it, ask what you would bet on that. A month's rent, for or against. The answer usually arrives before you have finished asking.

Turning a comfortable belief into a wager makes its odds obvious, and it does it without a row. Keep it light and a bit silly, because the point is…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

When you finish the dull task, give yourself something you actually like. A reward you do not really want does no work at all.

Choose it before you start and make it specific: the good coffee rather than whatever is in the cupboard, half an hour of the thing you keep…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

When you get something hard done, resist waving it off with "anyone could have done that". Let it count.

That reflex is common in people who have spent years falling short of what they meant to do, and it quietly cancels the good of finishing. Try the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

There is a sort of avoidance that looks like getting things done. Sorting the drawer, clearing the inbox, any mildly useful job that is not the one you are dreading.

It is harder to catch than obvious time wasting because it leaves you nothing to feel guilty about. At the end of the day the shelf is tidy, the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Rather than asking whether what you are doing is worthwhile, ask what it is keeping you away from.

The first question is too easy to pass. Almost anything you are doing can be defended as useful, which is why it never catches you out. The second…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Shrink the first step until it takes two minutes, and do only that.

The wall is usually the size of the first step, not the whole task. Make the step tiny enough to fall over.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Do not wait to feel ready. Say Musa's prayer, ease my task, and take one step; the wish to go on comes after.

Motivation usually follows action, not the other way round. Start badly if you must, but start.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

When you catch yourself saying you are not motivated, try swapping the word out. Ask instead which bit has stalled: getting started, knowing what comes first, staying with it, or holding your attention on it at all.

Motivation is not one switch. It sits on top of several separate skills, and usually only one of them has failed on a given day. Naming that one…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.