Practices

Cross your hands to the opposite shoulders and stroke slowly down to your elbows and hands, like a hug you are giving yourself. Three to five strokes, unhurried.

Then, if you want the rest of it: from the middle of your forehead out to the temples and along the hairline to the ears, from the crown down towards…

Pain is rarely one thing. There is the raw sensation, the memory of every other time, how you feel about it now, whether you think you can cope, and what you conclude about yourself.

Pulling those apart is useful because they do not all move together. You may not be able to change the ache itself, and you can often change how…

Ordinary harmless sensation competes with pain on its way up. Rubbing, squeezing or stroking near a sore place gives the nerves plenty of other traffic to carry.

This is why everybody rubs a banged elbow without being taught to. The useful part is that you can do it deliberately: firm strokes along the limb, a…

If pain is the thing you live with, start the session with the stroking sequence rather than the conversation. Arms, forehead, crown, cheeks, slowly.

It does two jobs in one go: gentle wide contact takes some edge off the pain, and it brings a person out of guarded alertness into being able to…

Squeeze slowly down one arm with the opposite hand, then the other, and work over whatever muscles you can reach. No table, no appointment, nobody else in the room.

Firm and rhythmic beats fiddly. Give the forearms, upper arms, shoulders and thighs a proper squeeze and release, a few seconds each. Doing it…

If you went blank or floppy while something terrible was happening, that was your body conserving you. It is the oldest survival setting you have, not a failure of nerve.

This response gets chosen when fighting and running are both off the table, and it is built to spend as little as possible until the danger passes.…

Coming up out of numbness usually feels worse before it feels better. Restlessness, irritation and a jumpy stomach are often the way up rather than a relapse.

The route out of collapse tends to run through activation instead of around it. That is why a short walk, some tidying or an errand often works…

Reaching for another person when you are wound up is not a distraction from coping. Contact can turn the alarm down at the source.

This is why a short call, a message to someone who knows you, or sitting in the same room as family is worth doing before you get as far as the…

Safety comes in through three doors: your body, the place you are in, and the people around you. If one is shut, try another.

This matters most when you are on your own and the person you would ring is not there. You can still change the room, open a window, go outside, put…

When someone is frightened, your words may not reach them however sensible they are. Drop your voice, slow right down, and let the tone do the work.

In high alarm, hearing tips towards low rumbling sounds and away from the range the human voice sits in, so reassurance can genuinely fail to land.…

Whatever you did in the worst moment, your body chose it faster than thought. You did not decide it and then get it wrong.

The selection happens deep in the brain, in a fraction of a second, before the part of you that weighs options gets a look in. People spend years…

Being strong, trained or brave does not decide which way your body goes. People who could easily have fought have frozen instead.

This one matters for anyone whose sense of themselves was built on being capable: soldiers, police, door staff, athletes, older brothers. The shame…

The steadiness you are training shows up in more than your mood. Sleep, digestion and how quickly you come down after a fright tend to move together.

Worth knowing when progress on the thing you came for feels slow. People often notice they are sleeping better, or snapping less, before they notice…

Body based practices sit alongside medication rather than replacing it. If you take something, you can do both.

They are worth having on the menu for people who cannot take medication, do not want to, or want something of their own to do as well. The skill you…

None of this needs explaining to work. A child who cannot say what happened can still be helped by breath, movement and sound.

That makes body based work useful right across the ages, and for anyone who finds talking hard, including people whose language is not the one the…

When someone cannot take in your reassurance while they are frightened, that is the receiver and not their willingness. Wait for the wave to pass and try again.

In high arousal, hearing shifts away from the band the human voice occupies, so kind words can genuinely arrive as noise. It is easy to read that as…

Sound based work is aimed at a particular set of troubles: noise that feels too loud, voices that turn to mush, jumpiness, difficulty reading people. If that is you, it is worth asking about.

It gets chosen by what your system does rather than by a diagnosis, which is why the same programme is used with very different people, from toddlers…

Irritability, a hot face, itchiness, a mild earache or feeling slightly off balance are common while doing this. People often say it feels like getting off a long flight.

Knowing that in advance matters, because unexplained body sensations are easy to read as harm when your alarm system is already sensitive. Say what…

Most of the research on this programme was done with autistic children. For trauma, what exists is case reports and studies still under way.

That does not make it useless. It does mean you would be trying something promising rather than something established, and you deserve to know that…

A healthy heart rate is not a metronome. The small variations between beats are a sign your body can still adjust to what is in front of it.

Heart rate variability is exactly that: how much the gaps between beats change. More of it generally goes with a system that can speed up when needed…