Practices

Drug names ending in pam or lam are almost always benzodiazepines. It is a quick way to pick the class out of somebody's medication list.

The ending tracks a shared chemical backbone, so the shortcut is not a coincidence. Keep a rough rule alongside it: this class suits sharp fear…

Benzodiazepines turn the volume down. They do not change the setting the volume keeps returning to, and it is worth saying that plainly before someone starts one.

They work by strengthening the braking system the brain already runs, which is why they act quickly and why they need that braking chemistry to be…

Within this class the choice is mostly about how long the drug lasts rather than how well it works. They all pull on the same receptor, so the real question is what pattern of cover the person in front of you needs.

A short-acting one taken as panic arrives gives sharp relief and teaches the person to keep it in a pocket. A longer-acting one gives smoother cover…

What frightens a body is usually not how hard a thing is, it is having no way out. So put movement as an offer. If it feels alright, you might try lifting your arms.

The wording is doing quiet work here. Lift your arms, and see what happens if you lift your arms, are the same physical event, but only one of them…

Whatever a person walks in carrying belongs in the practice. The ache in the hip, the irritation, tears that arrive for no reason, the part that thinks all of this is nonsense.

Complex trauma teaches people to leave pieces of themselves at the door, and a yoga mat is an easy place to carry on doing exactly that, particularly…

When you start paying attention to your body, things wake up. More feeling, a deeper breath, memories arriving sideways. That is the practice working, not the practice going wrong.

Say this at the start, not afterwards. People who were not told tend to decide the movement made them worse and stop, when what actually happened is…

You are not here for a longer hamstring. You are here for a nervous system that can change gear, work when work is needed and settle when it is not.

An ordinary class measures you against the shape, and that measuring is the same self driving that wore you out in the first place. The therapeutic…

Once a shape feels safe, it becomes somewhere to explore from. The question stops being am I doing this right and turns into how does my body want to move now.

Stay in an easy position long enough for it to go slightly dull. Dull is the sign that the ground under you is steady. From there, small experiments:…

Picture a cat getting up from a nap. One side lengthens and reaches while the other side curls in, then they swap over. Do that. Add breath and sound if you want them.

After a minute of copying the animal, drop the instructions and let your body carry on however it likes. That is the reason for starting here:…

Take a shape that asks something of you, warrior or mountain, eyes open, the middle of your body switched on. Then, without coming out of it, drop your attention inside and let the pose hold you instead.

Two things get practised in one position. First the doing: strong legs, clear gaze, a body that is ready. Then the yielding: still there, still…

Calm is only half the training. Plenty of people are more frightened of stillness than of adrenaline, because stillness puts the guard down.

If everything you practise is a settling practice, half the range goes untrained, and you may be asking someone to drop a defence they still need. So…

Play belongs here. Being a lion, a tree, a hissing snake, the way children do it with no embarrassment at all.

A lot of people meet trauma work as something solemn, and solemn is easy to sit through without ever softening. Silliness is harder to fake. If a…

Before you practise something exposing with someone, say out loud what is not at risk. I will not think less of you, and nothing between us changes here.

It sounds obvious and it does a great deal of work. If the relationship really is on the line, then the discomfort is not symbolic and no amount of…

Call the practice whatever fits you. Stress inoculation, rolling with the punches, a Teflon mind, the art of not giving a damn: the name changes nothing about what you do, and a name you can stand makes you likelier to do it.

People come to this with different histories and some of them have been lectured before. If the language sounds like a self help poster to you, use…

Be careful with the language about growing a thicker skin. Before anyone is asked to mind less, someone has to check that what they are minding really is only a slight.

Where the insults are discrimination, bullying or the run up to abuse, telling a person to toughen up is telling them to distrust an accurate reading…

Treat these as experiments rather than instructions. You are not obeying a programme, you are finding out what happens, and that difference changes how it feels to do them.

People who are quick to anger are often also quick to bristle at being told what to do, and a challenge sits far better with that than a homework…

Before you go looking for practice at staying steady, make sure you already have something to do instead of your usual reaction. Practising with nothing to put in its place mostly rehearses the old response.

Pick the alternative first and keep it small: a slow breath, one fixed phrase, a decision to say nothing until your hands unclench. Then you can let…

Most of what feels wounded when someone slights you is a story you carry about who you are. A story can be looked at, which is a very different thing from having to defend it.

Try naming yours in one plain line. I am the reliable one. I am the one who does not get things wrong. I am nobody's fool. Then notice that the…

Nearly every everyday flare up comes from one small family of stings: being disrespected, disapproved of, invalidated, misunderstood, or brushed aside. Learning the family is easier than learning a thousand separate grievances.

Next time you are angrier than the event seems to deserve, ask which of those just landed. Most people find one or two do the bulk of the work in…

Some people move through the day half expecting to be slighted, and the scanning itself wears them out. If most days seem to contain someone who did not give you your due, part of the pattern may be in the looking.

It helps to notice the scanning rather than to argue with it. Ask how many of today's slights you actually witnessed and how many you inferred from a…