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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1619 practices
Me remove filterAny ordinary day remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 662Anger 342Your body 300Your marriage 114Worry and anxiety 104Low mood and hard feelings 79After harm 7Yourself and your limits 6Grief and loss 5
How long you have
A minute 406Five minutes 826Twenty minutes 281Longer 106
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 1709Me 1619Someone I care about 1063My husband or wife 177
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 1083Struggling right now 287Getting ready for something 249
On your own, or with someone
On my own 1275Involves someone else 248Both of us together 96
Theme
Medication and how it works 132Your nervous system 85Systems for daily life 80Get started 68Food, caffeine and fuel 53Your sense of time 52The moment before you snap 49Moving your body 48What anger actually is 48Bringing the future closer 45Choosing your response 45Exercise, food and other supports 41Equanimity and perspective 36Screens and attention 35Grounding and settling 33What ADHD actually is 33Touch and bodywork 31The fear underneath anger 31Getting assessed and diagnosed 30Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 28Treatment and medication 28Feelings and focus 28Structure and routine 27When everything feels flat 27Being seen and judged 24Breathing 23Cool the body first 23Shame and stigma 22Making it stick 21Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20Treatment and medication 18When you use something to cope 17What worry does 17Shared spiritual life 16Breaking the worry loop 15Feeling from the inside 15Fondness and admiration 14Facing it a step at a time 13What you are actually defending 13Answering bids 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Tolerate distress 11Obsessions and compulsions 10Listening and understanding 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Posture and how you carry yourself 9Gratitude 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Emotions as signals 8Affection and touch 7Rituals of connection 7Question the thought 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Rebuilding trust 5Shame 5Living with uncertainty 3When you go numb 3Repair after rupture 3Rest and pacing 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3The cost of avoiding 3Act on your values 2Keep the bond 2When anger turns to harm 2Find meaning 2Meaning after harm 2Get it out of your head 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Panic and the body 1Safety and grounding 1Your window of tolerance 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1
Approach
ADHD skills 435Medical and treatment 376Core 208Body based 202CBT 140Mindfulness 108Gottman 64Emotionally focused 33DBT skills 22Trauma informed 16Narrative 10Grief 5
When · Any ordinary day
Any ordinary day 1619Under stress 474After a row 183In a change 92Coming and going 69When apart 12Something good 6

Keep one short question and use it everywhere: is this what I should be doing right now. Nothing clever, just the same words often enough that they turn up on their own.

The value is in it being fixed. An intention to monitor yourself is far too vague to survive a busy afternoon, whereas a set phrase can be triggered…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

The timer you will actually use is the one that takes two seconds. A dial you twist beats an app with four taps, every time, whatever the app can do.

Keep a cheap kitchen timer where you work and another where you get ready. If speaking to a smart speaker is quicker for you, use that instead.…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

If you have ten minutes and the episode is forty, the moment to act is before it starts. Stopping halfway is a much harder ask than never beginning.

This is worth knowing about yourself without shame: once you are inside something absorbing, the pull to stay is enormous and the part of you that…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:40

Fasten a time you keep missing to another person. Go up when your partner goes up. Ask a colleague to knock for you on the way to the meeting.

A person moving is much easier to notice than a number changing. Ask for it as a favour and keep it small and specific, because a vague request to be…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:3

Almost everyone has an alarm to get up and almost nobody has one to go to bed, which is odd, because bedtime is the one with nothing else pushing on it.

Set it for half an hour before you want to be asleep, so it catches the start of the wind down rather than the end. Expect to ignore it for the first…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 25:47

You do not have to agree that it will take longer. Add the extra time anyway and let the week prove you right or wrong. If you finish early, you have a spare twenty minutes, which is not a punishment.

This matters because the felt sense of duration is stubborn, and waiting until it corrects itself means waiting a long while. So treat the padding as…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5

For a lot of people with ADHD there are only two times: now, and not now. A deadline on Thursday and one six months out sit in the same box until the day they suddenly become today.

This is worth knowing because it explains why being told the date again does nothing. You knew the date. What was missing was the sense of it coming…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 23:113

Spotting on day one that a procedure is pointless is a real skill. Saying so in the first meeting is the part that costs people the job.

The observation is rarely the problem. It is that it arrives before anyone asked, from someone who has been there a fortnight, often with the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Every trait worth having here arrives with its twin. A love of the offbeat and a real problem with deadlines are the same wiring seen from two sides.

Strength lists that leave the cost out are not believable and they do not help anybody. Pair them instead. If you are the one who finds the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:38

A clever workaround can hide a difficulty for years. A child who memorises what he cannot read looks fine, right up until the amount to be read grows past what memory can carry.

So do not judge by output alone. Ask what it cost to produce. Someone keeping up but exhausted, dreading the reading, staying up late to cover it, is…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Think of your sense of the future as how far out to sea you can spot a ship. How far depends on your eyesight, and also on how big and bright the ship is and what the weather is doing.

That last part is the useful bit. The same person sees a wedding six months off perfectly clearly and misses a form due on Tuesday completely,…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:39

How far ahead a person can hold in mind grows as they get older. A five year old on Monday does not care about Saturday, a fifteen year old should, and by thirty most people can worry about a pension.

Reading it that way changes what you are looking at. The question is not whether someone cares but whether their reach is what you would expect at…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 22:5

Short sight is a fair comparison. If you cannot see far, the ship has to come close before it exists for you, and no amount of trying harder brings it into view sooner.

Which is why glasses are the right idea rather than effort. For time, glasses mean anything that puts the future in front of you before it arrives:…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

If it is not happening now, it is often not being thought about at all. Not faintly, not somewhere in the background. Not there.

That changes what a reminder has to do. Turning up the volume on a faint signal is useless when there is no signal at all. The thing has to be made…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

There are two quite different ways of putting things off. One is anxious and full of dread. The other is perfectly calm until the pressure arrives, and then everything happens at once.

The difference matters because the help is not the same. Where there is dread, the work is with the fear, and approaching the task in small doses…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5

A small job due tomorrow feels heavier than a big one due next week. Everyone works this way. It is simply stronger with ADHD, and it quietly wrecks any list ordered by importance.

Which is why ranking tasks by what matters most tends to fall apart by Tuesday. Your felt sense of weight is set by how near a thing is, so an…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:11

Fun things serve the present. Important things serve the future. Put like that, you can see why the advice to just do the important thing is asking rather a lot.

It asks you to act on the part of the picture you can least feel. So let the important thing serve the present a bit too: do it with someone, do it…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:1

The further off something sits, the less it weighs on today's decision. That is not a flaw in your reasoning. It is how the weighing works for everybody.

It also explains something that often gets read as dishonesty. The plan you made on Monday was sincere. By Thursday the reward for keeping it has…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

One more episode tonight is obviously worth it, and by eleven the next morning it obviously was not. Nothing changed except where you were standing in time.

Everyone recognises this, which makes it a good thing to notice rather than a private failing. The exchange rate flips overnight: tomorrow's…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:10

When a deadline or a reward sits a long way off, it can feel almost weightless, while the thing in front of you feels enormous. That is not you being shallow. It is a shortened view of time doing what it does.

You can notice it in the gap between what you know and what you feel. You know the report matters more than the tidying, it just does not feel that…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.