Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

54 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Your nervous system
Medication and how it works 91Systems for daily life 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Knowing your partner 25Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Grounding and settling 24When everything feels flat 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24Treatment and medication 22Practising under provocation 22What ADHD actually is 20Screens and attention 20What you are actually defending 19Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19Structure and routine 19Making it stick 18Breathing 18Being seen and judged 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15What worry does 15Treatment and medication 15Emotions as signals 14Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Breaking the worry loop 13Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Tolerate distress 9Gratitude 9When you use something to cope 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Calm the body 3When anger turns to harm 3Care for yourself in loss 2Patience and trust 2Your window of tolerance 2Ride the urge 2Work with your brain 2Obsessions and compulsions 2The cost of avoiding 2Validate yourself and others 2Listen to the body 2Ask and say no well 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Rest and pacing 2Face it gently 2Shame 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1Panic and the body 1
Approach
When

Most of the traffic on the nerve joining your gut, heart and lungs to your brain is heading upwards. When your stomach turns or your chest tightens, your body is reporting in.

It helps to treat those sensations as messages rather than faults to be got rid of. Next time your stomach drops before a difficult phone call, try…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16

You can tell you are settled by small signs: your breath sits low in your belly, feelings arrive in waves rather than floods, and you can think and feel at the same time.

Other markers: your voice has some tune in it, you can take in new information, you can read what is happening on someone else's face. Knowing your…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 48:4

You will stop doing this once you feel better. Write it on your list of things that help, so it is there next time instead of forgotten.

Adherence fades the same way it does with exercise, and the fading is not a character flaw. The trouble is that when you next need it you will be in…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

A gut feeling is a real signal rather than a turn of phrase. The chemicals that carry emotion in your brain are also at work in your heart and your gut.

This matters most if you grew up being told your read on a situation was wrong. Noticing the sensation, naming it, then checking it against what you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7

The calm and connected part of this system speaks through your face, your voice, your ears and your heart. That is why those are the places to work.

A softer face, a slower voice, unhurried breathing and something friendly to look at are not decoration. They are the reachable end of the circuit…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78

The way you sound reaches people more directly than what you say. There is a pathway that tunes the ear towards the human voice, and a warm, unhurried voice uses it.

Worth knowing whether you are the one speaking or the one listening. If you are settling a child or a friend, let your voice go slower and softer and…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Stand on one foot for half a minute, a hand on a chair if you need it, and put all your attention into the foot on the floor.

You will find it is never still. There is a constant small negotiation towards the toes, the heel, one side and back again, and every so often you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

Try locking your ankle and holding everything rigid while you balance. You will fall over. The wobble was doing the work.

People who are frightened of losing control often try to hold themselves regulated: clamped, monitoring, allowing no drift. It is exhausting and it…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28

There are small signs that somebody has come back into connection: light in the eyes, a bit of music in the voice, a smile that arrives by itself.

They are easy to see once you know to look, and they are just as useful in reverse. If you are with someone difficult and your own voice has gone…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78

Breath does not always calm. For some people it opens the door to feeling, for others it puts a little distance in. Find out which it does for you today.

The instruction to breathe deeply gets handed out as though it settles everyone. Plenty of people find that attention to their breath brings the…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Your heart speeds up slightly on every breath in and slows on every breath out. Sit quietly with a hand on your chest and you can feel it.

This is why lengthening the out breath calms you and lengthening the in breath wakes you up. It also means you carry a working control that needs no…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 25:47

Hum a note you like for a few breaths, and try covering your ears with your palms so the sound fills your head.

The vibration carries through your throat and your inner ear, and humming lengthens the out breath for you without any counting. Choose your own note…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Breathe in, then push the air out gently against a closed throat, or against lightly pinched nostrils, for a couple of seconds.

The change of pressure in your chest is what does the work, and two or three rounds are enough to notice something. Keep it gentle. Straining is…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:1

Whatever happens in a session, the change gets built in the other hours. Choose things you can do at a bus stop with nothing in your hands.

There are roughly 167 waking hours a week outside an appointment, and that is where a practice either becomes yours or quietly disappears. Elaborate…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

The steadiness you are training shows up in more than your mood. Sleep, digestion and how quickly you come down after a fright tend to move together.

Worth knowing when progress on the thing you came for feels slow. People often notice they are sleeping better, or snapping less, before they notice…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

Body based practices sit alongside medication rather than replacing it. If you take something, you can do both.

They are worth having on the menu for people who cannot take medication, do not want to, or want something of their own to do as well. The skill you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4

A healthy heart rate is not a metronome. The small variations between beats are a sign your body can still adjust to what is in front of it.

Heart rate variability is exactly that: how much the gaps between beats change. More of it generally goes with a system that can speed up when needed…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 25:47

Rest your attention in the middle of your chest, let your breath slow as though it were moving in and out through there, and bring to mind something you feel warmly about.

A hand on your chest can help you find the place. The feeling does not have to be big: gratitude for something small, or the ordinary fondness you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28

Slow breathing on its own does less than slow breathing with a warm feeling attached and something showing you how you are doing.

That is the difference between the deep breathing most people have tried and found underwhelming, and this. The feedback matters because otherwise…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:152

Practise this when you are calm and again when you are wound up. The second one is what makes it available in the moment you need it.

Skills learned in one state can be strangely hard to find in another, which is why people say they forgot to use it. Do the first round with someone…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.