Practices

Skills bring the flare ups down in number and in heat. What they leave standing is the layer underneath: what you believe you are owed, and how you think people ought to behave.

That layer is slower work, closer to rebuilding a view of life than to learning a technique. What counts as fair, what can reasonably be expected of…

Anger gets fed from several places: blame, not being able to bear not knowing, losing sight of the other person, and needs you never said out loud. Each one wants a different kind of work.

So it is worth asking which of them is mostly yours. If it is blame, forgiveness is the road. If it is not knowing, the work is learning to sit with…

The work you are doing on anger does not stay in the anger box. Learning to hold an unanswered question, or to sit with what you cannot change, turns up in worry and in low patches too.

That is quietly encouraging on the days the anger part feels slow. It also means being careful about crediting every improvement to the anger work,…

You do not need to become a reading specialist to be useful in a school meeting. A few hours with the current material on how reading is learned will put you ahead of most of the room, and you can carry it in kindly rather than as a challenge.

Pick two or three good sources and actually read them: an introduction written for teachers, and one clear book on how reading develops. What you…

Ask a struggling ten year old what division actually is and you will often get a blank, or a method with no meaning under it. Going back to what each operation does is usually worth more than another go at this term's work.

Division is sharing out, or taking the same amount away again and again until nothing is left. Multiplication is that same amount repeated. Children…

After a course of intensive work, this student's sound skills moved from the middle of the range to near the top. Average was never the ceiling. It was simply where an untreated difficulty had left them.

Hearing single sounds in a word, holding sounds in memory, repeating made up words: all of them shifted a long way once the teaching was right. That…

A child who has spent years being told they are careless will often say yes to whoever finally seems glad of them. Work on how they see themselves is not a soft extra to the clinical work.

Count the corrections in a single day and it is easy to see what accumulates. By the time an offer comes from someone friendly, the pull is belonging…

Some people find they drive better in a manual, because there is always something to be done. Treat that as an experiment rather than a finding.

The reasoning is the same as a fidget toy or a standing desk. A little constant demand can keep an under-occupied system in the room instead of…

Blood pressure on a stimulant is an individual matter. For most people it is a non-event, and where it does rise the answer is often a different stimulant rather than none at all.

No blood test or cheek swab will tell you in advance which one suits you. Finding out means trying, measuring and being willing to change, which is…

If the first medicine disappoints, that is information about the first medicine. Plenty of people who get nothing from one class do well on another.

Methylphenidate and amphetamine are not the same drug at different strengths. They work by partly different routes, so a poor result on one says…

Most people who try do find something that helps, but often not the first thing they try. Not responding to one class of stimulant says surprisingly little about the other.

The high response figures you may have read come from people who worked through more than one option, not from one prescription going well. Response…

When medication works, its best effect is often on everything else you were already trying. Coaching, exercise, a routine: each of them needs enough attention to get started, and attention is the thing in short supply.

That is why setting medication against the other approaches usually misses the point. The plan you could not keep last year may be perfectly keepable…

Unmanaged ADHD wrecks sleep, food and movement, and wrecked sleep, food and movement make the attention worse the next day. The loop feeds itself, which is also the hopeful part: a small repair anywhere in it pays back more than it should.

Short sleep hits the same front part of the brain that is already struggling, so a late night costs you more than it costs other people. Pick the one…

Give a new habit two months rather than two weeks, and change one thing at a time. The old line about thirty days sets you up to feel like a failure on day thirty one.

Routines that wobble make repetition harder, and repetition is the whole mechanism, so it simply takes longer for some of us. Pick one change, keep…

Unstructured play in a big open space settles a child. A structured class teaches them how to be with other children. You want some of each, for different reasons.

If you only ever book the class, you take away the roaming that calms them down. If you only ever send them out to roam, they miss the taking turns…

Whatever gets you outside and quiet for a stretch of time counts. Fishing, sitting in a hide, weeding, waiting in the car park with the window down.

Nobody has to call it mindfulness for it to work like mindfulness. Hours of low demand attention outdoors, with nothing much required of you, is the…

Martial arts happen to bundle four useful things at once: hard physical work, a fixed structure, feedback in the moment, and a teacher who stays. That is why they suit restless minds so well.

Any one of those on its own helps a little. Together they cover the arousal, the shapelessness of time, the need for a reward that arrives today…

Long goals need markers you can reach this month. Belts work because you get a visible, earned step every so often instead of one distant summit.

Build the same thing into anything you are trying to keep up: a distance, a number of sessions, a move you could not do in January. Make it something…

For a child having a hard time, one adult who plainly thinks well of them makes more difference than almost anything else. A coach or a teacher can be that person.

Studies of children growing up through poverty, hunger and worse keep landing on the same finding: those who did well usually had somebody who…

A practice kept up for years stops being something you do and becomes part of who you are. That is when it no longer needs willpower.

People who started something physical as children and carried on often point to it as where their steadiness came from. The early years are the…