Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

38 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Touch and bodywork
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64What anger actually is 58Your sense of time 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49What ADHD actually is 48Treatment and medication 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37When everything feels flat 34Grounding and settling 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32Reading, numbers and learning differences 31The fear underneath anger 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Cool the body first 25Shame and stigma 25Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24The cost of avoiding 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Shared spiritual life 16Facing it a step at a time 16Feeling from the inside 16Breaking the worry loop 16Fondness and admiration 14What you are actually defending 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 13Answering bids 12Tolerate distress 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7Question the thought 6When anger turns to harm 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Rebuilding trust 5Living with uncertainty 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Rest and pacing 3Repair after rupture 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Panic and the body 3Act on your values 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Keep the bond 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

You rarely need the whole tour. Pick the one place the tension actually lives for this person today, and work there.

A real session has no room for a long sequence and no need of one. Watch where the holding shows itself: a jaw that never rests, shoulders up near…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 12:93

Keep offering these small practices and people start asking for them. When someone requests one by name, something has changed about who is running their regulation.

Responses also speed up with repetition, so what needed ten minutes in the first month can take two later on. Name that shift out loud when it…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 48:29

There is a real difference between a practice you add to your treatment and one you use in place of it. Massage, breathing, acupressure and the rest belong in the first group.

Nobody minds you tapping, stretching or seeing an acupuncturist. What matters is that none of it quietly takes the place of the medication, the…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 26:80

Most people are already doing something for themselves outside your room: herbs, a chiropractor, breathing videos, a weekly massage. Ask, plainly and without a raised eyebrow.

If you treat it as fringe behaviour, you will simply stop being told about it, and then you are working half blind. You want to know what is…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 3:159

Words for feelings tend to arrive after the body has been noticed, not before. Find the sensation first, then see what it wants to be called.

Try it in that order: tight across the chest, hot in the face, heavy behind the eyes. Then a name, if one comes, and no forcing if it does not.…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 12:84

Not all of this is a matter of how you say you feel. Breathing, exercise and hands on work shift things that can be measured from outside: heart rhythm, stress hormones, muscle tone.

That matters if you are the kind of person who suspects their own good moods, or if you have to make a case to a colleague who wants numbers. It also…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 39:23

You choose what to work on and how big a piece of it. A sore shoulder, a low mood, the belief that you are too much: all of them are allowed, and so is starting small.

The useful phrase is whatever is standing in the way of you being all right just now. Some days that is a headache and some days it is the thing you…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 2:233

Deep change tends to follow self acceptance rather than the other way round. Waiting until you have fixed the thing before you are allowed to be kind to yourself usually keeps the thing exactly where it is.

This shows up most clearly with eating, drinking, and everything else people do to manage a feeling. Shame makes the feeling worse, and the behaviour…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 17:24

There comes a moment when the tissue under your fingers gives a little and allows more depth. Wait for that instead of pressing your way to it.

It sounds fanciful until you have felt it once, and then it is obvious. Rest your hand, keep the pressure steady, and let the softening decide the…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 4:19

If pain is the thing you live with, start the session with the stroking sequence rather than the conversation. Arms, forehead, crown, cheeks, slowly.

It does two jobs in one go: gentle wide contact takes some edge off the pain, and it brings a person out of guarded alertness into being able to…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 12:93

Regular massage has been studied with restless, distractible children and teenagers, and their teachers noticed the difference in class as well as the young people noticing it in themselves.

The pattern in these studies is modest and repeated: short sessions, twice a week, over several weeks, with mood and behaviour improving rather than…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:24

Aching shoulders and a bad back are not separate from finding it hard to concentrate. Pain takes up room in your head, and there is less left for anything else.

People who are restless tend to hold more tension and pick up more injuries, and then the pain makes the focus worse, and round it goes. So it is…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 26:80

In placebo studies, people improve even when they have been told outright that the pill is inert. They also usually spend half an hour talking with someone who is paying attention.

That half hour is easy to dismiss as a detail of the study design, and it may be most of the treatment. Which is oddly encouraging: careful listening…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:263

Reviews do not support acupuncture as a treatment for attention difficulties. Some studies of acupuncture alongside counselling have done better than dummy needling alongside counselling, which is a more modest claim than it first sounds.

The likeliest reading is that a warm, unhurried practitioner who examines you carefully is doing much of the work. Needles are very fine and harm is…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 9:128

There is a route the calming nerve takes through you: eyes, then jaw and mouth, then throat and neck, then shoulders and chest, then belly. You can visit each stop in turn and simply notice what is there.

Give every area a moment before you move on. Soften around the eyes, let the jaw hang, sigh the throat loose, feel the chest lift, then rest a hand…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 5:6

Talking is not the only door in. Exercise, massage, acupressure, yoga, tai chi and the rest go at the body first and let the mind follow, which is the opposite direction from most therapy.

That is why they sit well beside talking work rather than competing with it. If words keep circling the same ground, changing what your body is doing…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 21:90

Body based approaches have been linked with better physical and mental health, easier relationships, and in some settings lower use of painkillers and psychiatric medication.

That last one tends to interest the people holding the budget, so it is worth knowing if you are trying to get this kind of work taken seriously…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 16:69

People who are sure they could never lie still for an hour tend to be asleep within ten minutes of getting on the table. Being unable to fidget seems to do it.

Worth saying in advance to anyone who is putting off booking. It is the same effect as a car journey knocking out a child who has not stopped moving…

LongerTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 8:11

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.