Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Remembering to do it
Medication and how it works 97Systems for daily life 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 54Get started 47Your nervous system 47Moving your body 43Exercise, food and other supports 40Treatment and medication 39What anger actually is 37Your sense of time 37Bringing the future closer 36Touch and bodywork 30What ADHD actually is 28Screens and attention 26Equanimity and perspective 26Growing empathy 25The moment before you snap 25Structure and routine 25When everything feels flat 25Choosing your response 24Feelings and focus 23Food, caffeine and fuel 23What worry does 22Grounding and settling 21Treatment and medication 20The fear underneath anger 20Knowing your partner 20The cost of avoiding 19Breathing 18Being seen and judged 16Shared spiritual life 16Practising under provocation 15Making it stick 15Fondness and admiration 14Breaking the worry loop 14Shame and stigma 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Remembering to do it 13What you are actually defending 13Answering bids 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Emotions as signals 10Listening and understanding 10When you use something to cope 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Feeling from the inside 10Gratitude 9Affection and touch 7Rituals of connection 7Use your strengths 7Self-compassion 6When anger turns to harm 6Cool the body first 6Rebuilding trust 5Obsessions and compulsions 5Tolerate distress 5Anger, alcohol and the body 5Facing it a step at a time 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Notice the pattern and flex 3Question the thought 3Panic and the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Repair after rupture 3Get it out of your head 2Work with your brain 2Find meaning 2Act on your values 2Face it gently 2Rest and pacing 2Keep the bond 2Meaning after harm 2When you go numb 1Shame 1Care for yourself in loss 1Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1Safety and grounding 1Living with uncertainty 1

Most of what we call memory looks backwards. The kind that actually runs your week is the other sort: a plan that has to show up in your head at the one moment you could still act on it.

So when something gets missed, the question is not really whether you knew about it. You almost certainly did, at the time you agreed to it. What…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

A thought you have in the car about something to say at home is worth nothing until the person is actually there in front of you. Cues have to sit where the action becomes possible, not where you happened to think of it.

Picture where you will be at the moment the thing can be done, and put the reminder there: a note on the front door for something that happens on the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

The moment you think of it is the only moment you are certain to have it. Do the thing, or write it down, or set the alarm, or put something odd in your pocket that will make no sense later until you check.

The two seconds of holding it in mind while you finish what you are doing is usually where it disappears. So make capture the reflex instead of the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

Start the email and then stop: address it, write the subject line, leave it unsent. The half finished thing sits in your drafts looking wrong until you deal with it.

It works because it leaves an odd looking object in a place you already go, and because unfinished jobs nag in a way that quiet decisions do not.…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 87:9

The bag that has to travel with you tomorrow goes on top of your shoes, not neatly beside the desk. Let the object stand in the way of a route you walk without thinking.

The phrase worth keeping is point of performance: the reminder has to sit where the action happens, at the time it has to happen. A note on the…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

Sometimes you cannot write it down. You are driving, your hands are full, you are halfway through a conversation. Then picture the moment in detail instead: the room you will be standing in, the object you will be looking at when you do it.

Make the picture concrete rather than worthy. Not a solemn 'I must ring the surgery' but the desk you will be sitting at, the mug beside the phone,…

A minuteRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Remembering to do something later is really two jobs stacked on each other. You have to keep hold of the thing itself, and you have to keep some feel for how the hours are passing, and both have to be working at the same moment.

That is why this fails more often than either piece alone, and why it is the failure other people see. Seeing it as two jobs splits the fix in two as…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 20:115

Add up what forgetting costs you in money over a year. Late fees, the higher interest that comes with a dented credit score, next day delivery bought at eleven at night for a birthday you have known about since January.

Being told to get organised in the abstract lands on nothing. A number lands. Put last year's late charges and rush postage at the top of the page…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 17:34

If you are going to ask someone to remind you, tie it to something they want as well. Reminding you to book the car in is much easier when it is also their car.

Asked as a favour it becomes a job they never applied for, and resentment collects quietly on both sides. Asked as a shared arrangement it lasts. Be…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 51:55

Notice how often a forgotten job turns up in the shower, or halfway up a flight of stairs. That is not coincidence: when nothing is holding your attention, the things you meant to do float up.

Which means those minutes are quietly doing work, and filling every one of them with a phone takes the mechanism away. Keep something to capture with…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 20:14

When someone hands you a date, the useful move is not writing the date down. Open your calendar there and then and decide the hour the work will actually happen.

A deadline only announces itself at the very end, when there is no room left to do anything about it. Booking the doing rather than the due date…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

The standard was never that you drop nothing. It is that the effort is steady and visible, and the misses that remain get some grace.

This matters as much for the person waiting on you as it does for you. Perfection gives them nothing to notice and gives you nothing to reach, so…

Five minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Take one of the gaps you already have, the commute or the walk or the shower, and use it to ask what is coming up this week and what might be slipping. No new tool, no new app, just the question.

That turns something accidental into something you can count on. It works best in the same place each time, so that the place starts asking the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.