Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
631 practicesArea · Focus, starting, and ADHD
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme
When you finish the dull task, give yourself something you actually like. A reward you do not really want does no work at all.
Choose it before you start and make it specific: the good coffee rather than whatever is in the cupboard, half an hour of the thing you keep…
When you get something hard done, resist waving it off with "anyone could have done that". Let it count.
That reflex is common in people who have spent years falling short of what they meant to do, and it quietly cancels the good of finishing. Try the…
There is a sort of avoidance that looks like getting things done. Sorting the drawer, clearing the inbox, any mildly useful job that is not the one you are dreading.
It is harder to catch than obvious time wasting because it leaves you nothing to feel guilty about. At the end of the day the shelf is tidy, the…
Rather than asking whether what you are doing is worthwhile, ask what it is keeping you away from.
The first question is too easy to pass. Almost anything you are doing can be defended as useful, which is why it never catches you out. The second…
Shrink the first step until it takes two minutes, and do only that.
The wall is usually the size of the first step, not the whole task. Make the step tiny enough to fall over.
Do not wait to feel ready. Say Musa's prayer, ease my task, and take one step; the wish to go on comes after.
Motivation usually follows action, not the other way round. Start badly if you must, but start.
Not all delaying is the same thing. Some of it is wanting it perfect, some of it is expecting to fail the way you did last time, and some of it is being genuinely busy with everything except the one job.
They need different answers. If it is standards, agree on a worse version and hand that in. If it is old failure, pick something small enough to…
The hardest kind of delaying to catch is the useful kind. You clear the inbox, sort the cupboard, answer three messages, and all of it is real work, and none of it is the thing.
It feels virtuous, which is why it survives so long. A quick test at the end of the day: is the thing I least wanted to do any closer than it was…
Instead of imagining consequences in general, remember one actual night you left it too late, and one actual time you started early. Your own memory carries a weight that a general warning never will.
Pick specific ones. The evening the printer failed at eleven, and the morning you had already finished and went out for a walk instead. Bring back…
Try giving the two of you names. Monday you keeps leaving messes for Thursday you, and Thursday you is getting fed up about it. Say it out loud and let it be a bit ridiculous.
The silliness is the point. Your future self can feel like a stranger you owe nothing to, and turning that person into a character with a grievance…
When you are the one helping, let the tone stay warm and a little funny. A person can hear a hard truth about their own week if it does not arrive solemnly.
Solemn advice gets defended against and then forgotten, and the moment it is needed is later, alone, with nobody there to repeat it. Something said…
Nobody needs help starting the things they enjoy. The skill worth building is starting the dull ones, and it is a narrower skill than it looks.
This is why being able to play a game for four hours tells you nothing about whether starting is hard for you. Treat the boring task as its own…
Getting yourself going today usually means borrowing a feeling from later in the week. You are not summoning willpower so much as bringing Thursday's relief, or Thursday's panic, forward into Monday.
If that transfer is hard for you, the answer is not to try harder but to make the future more present: the date written where you will see it, a…
Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.
It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…
At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.
Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…
If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.
It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…
Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.
People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…
The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.
That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…
Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.
A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…
If it has been on the list a year and nothing has moved, consider that you may have already decided. Saying so costs a good deal less than carrying it for another year.
Some items really are waiting for a better month. Others are quietly settled and only the guilt is still going round. You are allowed to say that the…
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