Practices

Learn a new practice in that order: the picture of what it is, then the plain steps, then actually doing it. Knowing what is coming settles most of the resistance before it starts.

Say to yourself, or to the person you are teaching, that in a minute the talking stops and the doing begins. It sounds trivial and it removes the low…

Look inside. The moment you catch something going past, put a small dot on the paper and go back to looking. That is the whole exercise, over and over.

The dot is doing something specific: it turns a private, slippery moment of noticing into an act you can see and count. No words, no keeping score,…

Being unbothered by your own thoughts and being unbothered by another person are two separate skills. Getting good at the first does not hand you the second.

You can sit quietly and watch your own mind with real steadiness, then lose the lot the moment somebody smirks at you. That is not backsliding. It is…

Before going towards a hard feeling, decide what will hold you while you are inside it: a way of breathing, a way of standing, a sentence, a person you can picture or ring.

Going in with nothing is not brave, it is flooding, and it teaches your system that feelings really are dangerous. Pick two or three supports in…

Whoever is going to do the feeling picks what to work with. The tightness in the chest, the closing throat, the anger, the grief, whichever one they are ready for today.

Choosing keeps the person in charge of the dose, and being in charge is a fair part of what makes this different from whatever happened to them. If…

Say it out loud before you start: you decide how much of this you feel, and when. Stopping for a bit is part of the plan, not a failure of it.

Being in charge of the dial is most of what separates useful contact with a hard feeling from being flooded by it again. If you are helping someone,…

Before sending anyone for hands on work, ask what touch has meant in their life. A massage table is a poor place to discover that touch brings something back.

The person delivering it is not there to hold what surfaces, and often has no training for it. So ask directly, ask about what parts of the body are…

When a treatment is described as approved, ask what it is approved for. Magnetic brain stimulation is licensed for depression, and using it for attention problems is off label.

Off label is not the same as forbidden or useless, and it does change three things: how much evidence stands behind it for your situation, what the…

The study most often quoted for magnetic stimulation in attention difficulties had eight people in it, and half of those on the dummy treatment improved too.

That dummy half is the interesting number. It tells you how much improvement can come from attention, hope and being taken seriously, before any…

The same treatment in two different clinics can go two different ways, and the difference is often the people. Kind, unhurried staff who explain things get better results.

So when you refer someone, or choose somewhere yourself, ask about that as well as the equipment. Do they remember your name, do they answer…

Telling someone what a treatment will actually be like improves how they respond to it. What it feels like, how long, what is normal afterwards.

Uncertainty makes everything sharper, so filling it in with plain description takes some of the edge off before anything starts. Do not oversell it…

The first week or so on one of these can feel worse rather than better: jittery, restless, sleeping badly. For most people it settles within a fortnight, and it is a known part of starting rather than a sign of harm.

Untold, a person quite reasonably concludes the medicine is making them ill and stops. Told beforehand, the same week becomes something to sit out,…

Three things are worth noticing before you buy any treatment: whether the only research on it is their own, whether they will say plainly what it is meant to change, and whether you have to sign something.

Each one covers a different way of being caught out. Research a company funded and ran itself has never been checked by anyone with nothing to lose.…

Decide at the start what you are actually aiming at. Eight difficulties down to six, then to four, then perhaps to two. Never zero, because zero was never on offer.

Everybody has some of these traits, and ADHD is largely inherited, so a life with none of it was never a realistic target for anyone. Naming a number…

Hear this before you start rather than after: change here is gradual. Habits built over twenty years do not come apart in three weeks.

Waiting is genuinely harder with ADHD, and a treatment whose reward is months away is exactly the sort of thing that gets dropped in week five.…

Part of why so many adults are coming forward now is that well known people have said out loud that they have this. Seeing someone capable say it makes the asking cost less.

The old picture of ADHD was a careless child and a lazy adult, and that picture kept a great many people from ever mentioning it. An athlete at the…

Everything has side effects, including doing nothing. The only real question is whether what you gain outweighs what it costs you.

The conversation about medication often gets set up as a risky drug against a safe natural alternative, and that is not the choice anyone is actually…

Treatment is not only about school reports. Lower rates of accidental injury and of other serious harms are reasons in their own right, even for a child whose marks are perfectly fine.

This is the answer to the question about the bright child who is coping academically and whose impulsivity worries you in traffic, on a bike, or…

When a decision feels impossible, put a date on it rather than pressing for the commitment. We will try this and look at it again in three months turns a life sentence back into a choice.

Plenty of people hear any decision as permanent, so picking a course or a job or a city feels like sentencing themselves to it. A review date changes…

ADHD tends to run in families, and the differences in reported rates between countries say more about how a country counts than about its people.

It is common to find, part way through your own assessment, that you are recognising a parent, a sibling or a child. That is not a coincidence and it…