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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

265 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 115Your body 49Anger 38Your marriage 28Worry and anxiety 21Low mood and hard feelings 10Grief and loss 2After harm 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 553Five minutes 822Twenty minutes 265Longer 85
Who it is written for
A practitioner 226Me 218Someone I care about 158My husband or wife 45
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 265Struggling right now 118Getting ready for something 83
On your own, or with someone
On my own 134Involves someone else 81Both of us together 50
Theme
Systems for daily life 21Medication and how it works 19Moving your body 17Getting assessed and diagnosed 11The cost of avoiding 11Get started 11Screens and attention 10Touch and bodywork 8Your nervous system 8Feelings and focus 7Shared spiritual life 7Treatment and medication 7What anger actually is 6Exercise, food and other supports 5The moment before you snap 5Staying regulated in conflict 5Breaking the worry loop 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5What ADHD actually is 5Bringing the future closer 5When anger turns to harm 4The fear underneath anger 4When everything feels flat 4Growing empathy 4Rituals of connection 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 4Repair after rupture 4Grounding and settling 4Your sense of time 3Knowing your partner 3Making it stick 3Structure and routine 3Reading, numbers and learning differences 3Breathing 3Rebuilding trust 3Emotions as signals 3Shame and stigma 2Use your strengths 2What worry does 2Anger, alcohol and the body 2Feeling from the inside 2Equanimity and perspective 2When you use something to cope 2Cool the body first 2Answering bids 2Obsessions and compulsions 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Practising under provocation 1Tolerate distress 1Treatment and medication 1Remembering to do it 1Choosing your response 1Care for yourself in loss 1Keep the bond 1Listen to the body 1Rest and pacing 1Facing it a step at a time 1Safety and grounding 1
Approach
ADHD skills 73Medical and treatment 61Core 34CBT 29Body based 22Gottman 21Mindfulness 8Emotionally focused 8Trauma informed 3Parts work 2Grief 2DBT skills 2
When
Any ordinary day 225After a row 19Under stress 9In a change 6Something good 2Coming and going 2When apart 2

Rest is not the prize waiting at the end of the work. It is part of what makes the work possible, and it does not have to be earned first.

Self control runs down over a day the way a battery does, and the thing that fills it back up is properly stopping. What that looks like is yours to…

Twenty minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 10:67

If you carry a firm picture of how the world is supposed to work, the world will break it several times a day. No coping skill outpaces a supply of grievance that never runs out.

This is not a case for caring less about fairness. It is about telling apart an injustice you could act on from the general refusal of life to be…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:104

Someone who holds themselves to an exact standard will often hear a gentle correction as an attack. With them the useful thing is timing: build some trust before you offer the other way of seeing it.

The reframe you have ready is probably right and probably too early. Consistency matters enormously to this person, so an alternative view is not…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 16:125

Anger runs on the word should, and should is a word about debt. Write out what you believe this person owes you, then mark which of those they ever actually agreed to.

Most lists come out in two parts. There are the real agreements, said out loud and accepted, and there are the ones you assumed any decent person…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 4:58

Anger sticks around because it works, at least in the short run. Before trying to put it down, be honest about what it has been buying you.

Usually it is some form of leverage: people move faster, back down, stop asking. Sometimes it is plainer than that, a way to feel like something…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 9:105

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

Build one place or time in your day that reliably feels safe, and return to it when you need steadying.

Healing needs a floor to stand on. A predictable pocket of safety is that floor; protect it.

Twenty minutesSafety and groundingTrauma informedQur’an 6:82

There is a rough benchmark for homework: about ten minutes a night per school year, so a child in their first year does ten minutes and a final year student tops out near two hours.

It helps to have the number before a school meeting, because "this is too much" sounds like an opinion while a benchmark sounds like a standard. Some…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:286

A rule that holds in your house and nowhere else is not really a rule. Children locate the unrestricted house within about a week.

So the awkward job is the useful one: a short message to the parents of the two or three friends your child spends most weekends with, agreeing…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:140

Sitting with one long unrewarding task has got harder for almost everyone. If you are planning work for yourself, or setting it for someone else, build the variety in rather than hoping for stamina.

In practice that means breaking a long stretch into shorter ones with something marking the end of each, changing what the work looks like part way…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

Things posted in ten seconds have got young people excluded from school, and worse. It is worth asking about online conduct in the same routine way you would ask about anything else that could go badly.

Ask what has been posted, what has been sent, what someone would not want read out. Not as an inspection and not as a lecture about permanence, but…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 23:3

A whole evening can go into recording an evening. It is worth asking, with no scolding in it, whether you were there for the thing you now have a photograph of.

This lands better than a rule about hours, because it is about something you would miss rather than something you are doing wrong. Try leaving the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 28:77

An alarm that marks the end of a session rather than the start. A written list of what these apps give you and what they cost. The phone's own usage figures. An agreement that an hour of scrolling gets matched with an hour of something else. Pick whichever you would actually do.

The choosing is part of why any of it works. A limit handed down gets tested and beaten, while one somebody picked themselves tends to survive a bad…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 17:110

Most parents setting rules about an app have never scrolled it for ten minutes. The rules are usually reasonable and the picture underneath them is missing.

This is not really about being permissive. If you do not know that the feed is chosen for you, that one worried search brings a fortnight of similar…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 17:36

Ask your child to show you their feed and explain it to you. You are asking to be taught rather than to inspect, and from the other side those feel nothing like each other.

Something shifts when the young person is the one who knows more. They slow down, they explain who these people are, they tell you which bits are…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 24:31

If you want a way back in with a teenager who has gone quiet, ask them to show you the game. Not to assess it. Just to be shown something they are good at.

It works because it asks almost nothing of them. No eye contact, no explaining how they feel, no returning to whatever the last argument was about.…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 31:19

For a week, jot down what was going on just before you picked up the phone, what you were thinking while you scrolled, and how you felt when you put it down. Nothing cleverer than that.

What usually surfaces is not that screens are bad but that two or three specific things are: one account, one time of day, one mood you always reach…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 20:131

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.