Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1725 practices

Coping, mostly Clear all

Area

Focus, starting, and ADHD 631Anger 377Your body 235Your marriage 224Worry and anxiety 120Low mood and hard feelings 96 After harm 17 Grief and loss 13 Yourself and your limits 12

How long you have

A minute 553Five minutes 822Twenty minutes 265Longer 85

Who it is written for

Me 1457A practitioner 1384Someone I care about 874My husband or wife 312

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 1725Struggling right now 731Getting ready for something 391

On your own, or with someone

On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154

Theme

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Moving your body 48 Get started 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 Bringing the future closer 43 The moment before you snap 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Feelings and focus 38 Touch and bodywork 38 Screens and attention 32 When everything feels flat 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 26 Structure and routine 26 Knowing your partner 25 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 Answering bids 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Cool the body first 20 Emotions as signals 20 Treatment and medication 20 What you are actually defending 20 Breathing 19 Repair after rupture 19 Making it stick 19 Being seen and judged 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 14 Remembering to do it 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When anger turns to harm 11 When you use something to cope 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Tolerate distress 10 Facing it a step at a time 9 Gratitude 9 Use your strengths 8 Self-compassion 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Question the thought 5 Safety and grounding 4 Meaning after harm 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Act on your values 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Shame 3 Calm the body 3 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Help someone grieving 2 Patience and trust 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Rest and pacing 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Listen to the body 2 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Ride the urge 2 Get it out of your head 2 Living with uncertainty 1 When you go numb 1

Approach

ADHD skills 404Medical and treatment 321Core 314Body based 172CBT 146Gottman 108Mindfulness 102Emotionally focused 86 DBT skills 28 Trauma informed 21 Grief 13 Narrative 7 Parts work 3

When

Any ordinary day 1296Under stress 223After a row 131In a change 37 Coming and going 26 When apart 6 Something good 6

There is a steadiness worth aiming for: hearing someone disagree with you without either going off at them or going quiet and small.

Those are the two ways it usually falls over. Either the temper goes and the point is lost, or the confidence goes and you find yourself agreeing…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 31:17

When something in the room or in the wider world unsettles you, saying so as your own unease usually travels further than handing down a verdict.

A verdict invites a counter verdict, and then the two of you are in a match. Naming what you notice in yourself gives the other person somewhere to…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:143

A fair share of what angers you each day was selected for you, because outrage is what holds attention. Worth asking what you are being served, and how often.

Look back at the last hour of scrolling and count how many items were built to get exactly the reaction you gave them. You do not have to swear off…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 49:6

Some of what makes people angry is far bigger than any one conversation can settle. Saying that plainly is not giving up, it stops you carrying what was never yours.

If you are the calm one, at work or in a family or in a consulting room, there is a steady pull towards feeling you ought to be able to sort out the…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 22:78

The alarm system behind your anger cannot be beaten into silence. It settles when it is understood and soothed, which is slower and far more reliable.

So the moves that work are unglamorous: naming what is happening, granting that it made sense, taking the fear seriously instead of arguing it down.…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:159

If you carry a firm picture of how the world is supposed to work, the world will break it several times a day. No coping skill outpaces a supply of grievance that never runs out.

This is not a case for caring less about fairness. It is about telling apart an injustice you could act on from the general refusal of life to be…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:104

Someone who holds themselves to an exact standard will often hear a gentle correction as an attack. With them the useful thing is timing: build some trust before you offer the other way of seeing it.

The reframe you have ready is probably right and probably too early. Consistency matters enormously to this person, so an alternative view is not…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 16:125

Anger runs on the word should, and should is a word about debt. Write out what you believe this person owes you, then mark which of those they ever actually agreed to.

Most lists come out in two parts. There are the real agreements, said out loud and accepted, and there are the ones you assumed any decent person…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 4:58

Anger sticks around because it works, at least in the short run. Before trying to put it down, be honest about what it has been buying you.

Usually it is some form of leverage: people move faster, back down, stop asking. Sometimes it is plainer than that, a way to feel like something…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 9:105

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 24:61

Do not let leaving or arriving happen silently.

Today, mark both thresholds. Before you leave, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face. When you come back, find them before you do…

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

When you come home, find them first, before the post, the phone, the kitchen.

The first half-minute of reunion often sets the tone for the whole evening.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:19

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.