Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1725 practices

Coping, mostly Clear all

Area

Focus, starting, and ADHD 631Anger 377Your body 235Your marriage 224Worry and anxiety 120Low mood and hard feelings 96 After harm 17 Grief and loss 13 Yourself and your limits 12

How long you have

A minute 553Five minutes 822Twenty minutes 265Longer 85

Who it is written for

Me 1457A practitioner 1384Someone I care about 874My husband or wife 312

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 1725Struggling right now 731Getting ready for something 391

On your own, or with someone

On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154

Theme

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Moving your body 48 Get started 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 Bringing the future closer 43 The moment before you snap 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Feelings and focus 38 Touch and bodywork 38 Screens and attention 32 When everything feels flat 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 26 Structure and routine 26 Knowing your partner 25 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 Answering bids 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Cool the body first 20 Emotions as signals 20 Treatment and medication 20 What you are actually defending 20 Breathing 19 Repair after rupture 19 Making it stick 19 Being seen and judged 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 14 Remembering to do it 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When anger turns to harm 11 When you use something to cope 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Tolerate distress 10 Facing it a step at a time 9 Gratitude 9 Use your strengths 8 Self-compassion 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Question the thought 5 Safety and grounding 4 Meaning after harm 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Act on your values 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Shame 3 Calm the body 3 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Help someone grieving 2 Patience and trust 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Rest and pacing 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Listen to the body 2 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Ride the urge 2 Get it out of your head 2 Living with uncertainty 1 When you go numb 1

Approach

ADHD skills 404Medical and treatment 321Core 314Body based 172CBT 146Gottman 108Mindfulness 102Emotionally focused 86 DBT skills 28 Trauma informed 21 Grief 13 Narrative 7 Parts work 3

When

Any ordinary day 1296Under stress 223After a row 131In a change 37 Coming and going 26 When apart 6 Something good 6

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Do not win in a way that crushes your partner's dream. Aim for a marriage where you support each other's dreams.

Being right is worthless if it flattens the person you love. Look for how both dreams can be honored.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:187

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.

When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 17:24

Ask one open question about their inner world tonight, and just listen to the whole answer.

What are you hoping for lately, what are you dreading. Questions with no single answer.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 30:21

Ask your spouse about a moment from their childhood that shaped them, and listen closely.

What comfort felt like then, what they longed for. It still lives in how they love now.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 17:24

You can screen for a processing difficulty with no test at all. Just notice, in ordinary conversation, whether the child is answering what you actually said.

A child who drifts off topic, answers a slightly different question, or needs things said twice may not be avoiding you or daydreaming. The words may…

A minuteReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 20:28

Behaviour is usually the visible end of a skill that has not been built. What you are watching in a classroom is the shape of the difficulty rather than the shape of the child.

It is a single sentence you can say in a meeting, and it tends to move the conversation away from what to do about the behaviour towards what the…

A minuteReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 17:84

Clapping games, skipping rhymes and silly verses are worth doing. They are good for the ear and they cost nothing, but they will not on their own repair a reading difficulty, and it is kinder to say so early.

Play the games, and separately get the structured teaching that a child with a real decoding problem needs. Families are often told that rhyming…

Five minutesReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 2:185

Invent words together. Say a made up word, pull it apart into its sounds, put it back, then take one sound out and hear what is left. The nonsense is the point, because there is nothing for memory to fall back on.

With a real word, a child who cannot work with sounds can often get by on memory, and you learn nothing about what they can actually do. A made up…

Five minutesReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 2:31

Plenty of children read the equals sign as put the answer here. Write it the other way round sometimes, eight equals three plus five, so they meet the idea that both sides are simply the same amount.

Move the sign about. Leave the gap in the middle, four plus something equals two plus five, and watch what the child does with it. If they add…

Five minutesReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 2:32

When the usual route into reading or arithmetic does not form, children build another one, and it nearly always runs through memory. It works for years, and it costs far more effort than anyone watching realises.

This is the bright child who is somehow always tired, always slow with written work, quietly memorising what everyone else is working out. The route…

Five minutesReading, numbers and learning differencesCoreQur’an 20:26

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.