Practices

A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.

Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…

You rarely need the whole tour. Pick the one place the tension actually lives for this person today, and work there.

A real session has no room for a long sequence and no need of one. Watch where the holding shows itself: a jaw that never rests, shoulders up near…

Keep offering these small practices and people start asking for them. When someone requests one by name, something has changed about who is running their regulation.

Responses also speed up with repetition, so what needed ten minutes in the first month can take two later on. Name that shift out loud when it…

Sleeping tablets, sedatives, antihistamines and alcohol all pull on the same brake. Whoever is prescribing needs the whole list, including the things that do not feel like medicine.

People rarely mention a nightly drink or a sleep aid bought off the shelf, because neither feels like part of the treatment. Together they can add up…

If you have been given a drug from one category for a problem in another, it is fair to ask which part of it is doing the work. Often the useful effect is a side effect that has been borrowed.

The common example is an antipsychotic given in a small dose for sleep, where the drowsiness comes from its antihistamine action rather than from…

Saying that you do not know, and then showing where you would look, beats an answer improvised on the spot. It also teaches the person asking how to check things for themselves.

Name the limit, name the source you would go to, and offer to come back with what you find. Systematic reviews and an ordinary scholarly search will…

The dose that lifts low mood is often not enough for anxiety, and for obsessive symptoms it is usually well short. Needing more of it is a feature of the problem rather than anything wrong with the person taking it.

This matters because a fair trial of something has to include a fair dose. A person can spend eight weeks on a starting amount, decide the medicine…

Most children with ADHD can tell you exactly what they should have done. The knowing was never the missing piece, which is why a course teaching the knowing changes so little.

Watch closely and you see the skill appear in quiet moments and vanish in loud ones, when another child has already grabbed the ball and there is…

What a person expects from a treatment genuinely changes what they get from it. That is not a trick to be exploited, and it is not nothing either.

In some trials the dummy treatment helps around half the people who receive it, and there is work showing benefit even when people were told outright…

People who use several kinds of help tend to report more benefit than people relying on one. Medication, therapy, coaching, reading, sleep and movement all seem to add something rather than compete.

That turns a hard conversation into an easier one. Instead of pressing a reluctant partner towards the single thing they least want, you can offer a…

Two ideas will let you judge most claims for yourself. In a good trial nobody involved knows who got the real treatment, and a study of five people can be swung by one of them having a good month.

Researchers want their treatment to work, and that hope leaks into how they rate what they see, which is why the person handing out the pill and the…

One social approach does have a real evidence base behind it, and what makes it different is who delivers it. Parents do the coaching, in the middle of actual play with actual friends.

In practice it looks small and ordinary. You set up a play date, you stay within earshot, you give a nudge before things tip over, and afterwards you…

Behaviour work for ADHD is mostly about changing what the adults do. The child's behaviour shifts afterwards, as a consequence.

Consequences live in other people's responses, and a child who cannot yet hold a reward in mind across three days cannot supply them for themselves.…

A child's reputation is made in the classroom, mostly out of adult earshot, and it follows them from one year to the next. Teachers who work on how the class treats the child, and not only on the child, can move it.

The version that has been trialled has the teacher doing small deliberate things: pairing children with some thought, noticing this child out loud…

Before you fix or argue, validate: that makes sense, I can see why you feel that. It cools the heat.

People calm down when they feel understood, not corrected. Understanding first, solutions later.

When you explain ADHD to someone who does not have it, describe the effort rather than the outcome. Not that the form is unfinished, but what twenty minutes of trying to fill it in actually took out of you.

Most people around you are judging the visible result, because that is all they can see. One concrete picture of the inside of an ordinary task…

Telling parents that their child's self-management is running behind their age usually brings relief rather than alarm. It names something they had already noticed and had been blaming somebody for.

Left unexplained, parents fill the gap with a story, and the story is almost always that the child is choosing this or that they have parented badly.…

Set jobs at the level the child can manage now, then build up. A task pitched at their age that ends in a row every week mainly teaches them they are hopeless at chores.

Break it down further than feels necessary: not tidy your room, but put the clothes in the basket. Stay nearby for the first few goes, since being in…

Much of what matters most in an assessment never comes up unless you ask for it directly. Unplanned pregnancies, money trouble, sackings, near misses in the car: people very rarely volunteer these.

Put the questions on the form rather than waiting for a moment that feels right, since a questionnaire normalises them and takes the weight out of…

Some families make it a house rule that driving happens only on a day the medication has been taken. It works because it ties a privilege to safety rather than to obedience.

Set it with the young person rather than at them, and be clear it is about the road and not about whether you trust them. It also moves medication…