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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1888 practices
Me remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 613Anger 526Your body 375Low mood and hard feelings 135Worry and anxiety 104Your marriage 101After harm 14Grief and loss 11Yourself and your limits 9
How long you have
A minute 595Five minutes 931Twenty minutes 253Longer 109
Who it is written for · Me
Me 1888A practitioner 1767Someone I care about 1061My husband or wife 153
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 1094Struggling right now 558Getting ready for something 236
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 1888Involves someone else 419Both of us together 148
Theme
Your nervous system 105Medication and how it works 82What anger actually is 78The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 59Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 56Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46What ADHD actually is 42Exercise, food and other supports 41When everything feels flat 39Feelings and focus 37Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Shame and stigma 30Treatment and medication 29Making it stick 29Getting assessed and diagnosed 28Breathing 28Screens and attention 28Structure and routine 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What worry does 21What you are actually defending 21Treatment and medication 20Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 18Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Obsessions and compulsions 12Question the thought 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Facing it a step at a time 10Use your strengths 9Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7When anger turns to harm 5When you go numb 4Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Living with uncertainty 4Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Let the wave come 3Rebuilding trust 3Working with anger 3Rest and pacing 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Patience and trust 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1Panic and the body 1The cost of avoiding 1
Approach
ADHD skills 434Medical and treatment 335Core 329Body based 303Mindfulness 161CBT 151Emotionally focused 45Gottman 41DBT skills 34Trauma informed 29Grief 15Narrative 9Parts work 2
When
Any ordinary day 1275Under stress 399After a row 104In a change 66Coming and going 39Something good 3When apart 2

When you cannot skip it, shorten it. Come for the meal and skip the drinks afterwards. Two hours of you at your best is worth more to everyone than five hours ending badly.

Decide the leaving time before you arrive and say it out loud on the way in, so that it is a plan rather than a walkout. Booking something afterwards…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 25:63

Connection does not have to be human. A dog will not judge how your week went, and it will get you out of the door twice a day whether you feel like it or not.

If people currently feel exhausting or risky, an animal is often the easiest place to begin. Part of the good is the company and part of it is the…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 48:4

You can be connected to a thing as well as to a person. A cause, a project, something you are making. On the days people feel like too much, it is still there.

This works best when it asks something of you regularly: a rehearsal, a shift, a chapter a week. The obligation is the useful part, more than the…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 7:199

There is a difference between being calm because your partner manages you and being able to steady yourself. The first works right up until the person is not there.

Plenty of adults with ADHD have got by on outside regulation without ever noticing it: a spouse who makes the difficult phone calls, a deadline that…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 16:127

If you are permanently behind, short of sleep and scrambling, that is not the backdrop to your short fuse. A good deal of the time it is the cause of it.

This is what makes the dull organisational work worth doing, because it buys you something you actually want. A morning that is not a panic leaves…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 94:1

Sleep, food and moving your body will not cure ADHD, and they do change how much of yourself you have available. Aim for good enough here rather than excellent.

The gain shows up in the margin more than in the symptoms. Rested, you have a bit of room before you snap. Short of sleep, you arrive at the evening…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 8:11

You cannot ask anyone to work harder on your difficulty than you are working on it yourself. That is the condition attached to every adjustment you ask for.

It is what keeps help from curdling into supervision. If your partner is holding the calendar, softening the tone and steering round your worst…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 16:127

Ask gently: what has this loss awakened in me, about what matters and how I want to live?

Not to justify the loss, but to let it change you. Grief often clarifies what is truly worth your time.

Five minutesFind meaningGriefQur’an 67:2

Let the loss remind you that this life is short, and let that soften what you were gripping too tightly.

Remembering death is not morbid; it puts small worries in their place and returns you to what lasts.

Five minutesFind meaningGriefQur’an 3:185

Tell your spouse plainly today that they matter to you, and why.

Not assumed, said. You matter to me, here is one reason. The heart needs to hear it.

A minuteFondness and admirationEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

Tell your spouse one thing you respect about who they are, not something they did.

Your patience, your honesty, the way you are with people. Admire the person, not the task.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:13

Recall out loud a moment you were proud of your spouse, and tell them so.

That thing you did last year, I still think about it. Bring the good memory into today.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 25:74

Scan today for one thing your spouse did right, and say it before the day ends.

The mind drifts to what is wrong. Deliberately catch what is right, then name it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 99:7

Remember one reason you chose your spouse, and let it soften how you see them today.

The quality that first drew you is still in there under the daily wear. Look for it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 30:21

When your spouse comes up in conversation today, say something good, or say nothing.

The affectionate word behind their back becomes what you feel to their face. Guard it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 24:19

Replace one eye-roll or cutting joke today with a word of respect.

Contempt is the slow poison. Catch the sneer and turn it, deliberately, into something kind.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:11

Catch one comparison of your spouse to someone else today, and turn it to cherishing.

Not why can't you be like them. Instead, name what only your spouse is and gives.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 20:131

Do not say the small unkind thing about them to someone else.

Today, notice the moment when you could make an easy joke at your spouse's expense, to a friend, a sibling, your mother, the group chat. Don't. Say…

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Take the sarcasm out of one conversation today.

Contempt is the most corrosive tone in a marriage; its opposite is plain, warm respect.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:11

Do not make the easy joke at their expense to someone else.

Guarding their dignity when they are not in the room is a quiet, powerful loyalty.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.