Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

25 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Your nervous system 81Medication and how it works 69Get started 61Systems for daily life 52What anger actually is 50Your sense of time 48Food, caffeine and fuel 43The moment before you snap 42Choosing your response 41Exercise, food and other supports 40Moving your body 37What ADHD actually is 35Treatment and medication 34Bringing the future closer 33Equanimity and perspective 33Grounding and settling 31The fear underneath anger 30When everything feels flat 29Screens and attention 28Touch and bodywork 27Structure and routine 25Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Practising under provocation 24Feelings and focus 22Shame and stigma 22Making it stick 20Treatment and medication 19What worry does 19Cool the body first 19Being seen and judged 18Breathing 17Remembering to do it 17Growing empathy 17Feeling from the inside 15When you use something to cope 15What you are actually defending 13Fondness and admiration 12Reading, numbers and learning differences 12Obsessions and compulsions 10Answering bids 10Tolerate distress 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Staying regulated in conflict 9Self-compassion 8Knowing your partner 8Use your strengths 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Facing it a step at a time 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 6Emotions as signals 6Posture and how you carry yourself 5Shame 4When you go numb 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Living with uncertainty 3Your worth is not conditional 3When anger turns to harm 3Find meaning 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Face it gently 2Act on your values 2Meaning after harm 2Rest and pacing 2Repair after rupture 2Get it out of your head 2Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1Your window of tolerance 1Panic and the body 1Affection and touch 1Listen to the body 1The cost of avoiding 1Listening and understanding 1Rebuilding trust 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

Some people simply cannot get a family history. Refugee journeys, destroyed records, closed adoptions, families that did not survive. That is a gap in the paperwork and not evidence against the diagnosis.

Say so out loud, and write it in the notes as a gap rather than as a negative finding, so the next person reading does not mistake silence for an…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

One man put his lamps on a timer so the room would go dark at eleven and send him to bed. It worked for a few nights. Then he simply carried on in the dark. A cue can tell you the time. It cannot make you stand up.

Worth remembering before you build anything clever. If the pull of whatever a person is already doing is stronger than the nudge you have designed,…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

'I set a reminder and still did not do it' is not a story about a bad reminder. It tells you the missing piece was never information, and a bigger, louder version of the same thing will fail in the same way.

The reflex is to escalate: three alarms, a different app, an entire new system built on Sunday night. What is needed is a change of kind, something…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

Hyperactivity and impulsiveness almost never turn up alone. When restlessness appears with no attention difficulty beside it, that is a reason to ask what else might be going on.

In practice the two run together, and over the years the visible restlessness tends to settle while the attention side stays. So a picture that is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

The diagnostic manual is a document people sat in rooms and argued over. That is no reason to dismiss it, and it is a good reason not to treat it as the last word on you.

Committees weigh how reliably clinicians can agree on a criterion, what the field trials show, what a particular wording will do out in the world.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

The checklists were built around the loud version of this, and girls are more often the quiet version. If she is struggling and nobody has ever suggested an assessment, that is worth pressing on.

Defiance in girls can look like refusal, withdrawal or a long-running argument about friendships rather than the disruption a teacher would report.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Most autistic people also meet the criteria for ADHD. The other direction is much thinner: only a small minority of people with ADHD meet the criteria for autism.

That is mostly arithmetic rather than mystery. ADHD is the more common of the two, so one overlap looks large from one side and small from the other.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7

Autism and ADHD share some surface features and are still two different things. The social difficulty in each arrives by a different road.

With ADHD it tends to be impulsiveness and missing what was going on: the interruption, the thing said too fast, the friend never rung back. With…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

A reward that comes every time is easy to walk away from. A reward that turns up unpredictably is the one you cannot put down, and that is exactly how your phone is built.

Sometimes there is something good in the notifications and usually there is not, and it is that uncertainty which keeps you checking. Willpower is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:186

When you read that some proportion of people with ADHD have a particular problem, the number tells you nothing until you know the figure for everybody else.

Twenty percent sounds alarming until you learn what the rate is in the general population. What matters is the multiple, how many times more likely,…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Check the licensing before assuming you cannot afford a good instrument. Some come with permission to photocopy once you have bought the manual.

That detail matters most to the clinicians least likely to have a budget, which usually means the services seeing the families with fewest options. A…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

There is more than one decent instrument, and which you use often comes down to what you were trained on. If you have never used one, say so rather than having a view about it.

Several rating scales are in wide circulation for children and for adults, validated by different groups for slightly different purposes. Picking one…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

The manual now asks for signs by age twelve rather than age seven, and it added wording that fits adult life, including restlessness felt on the inside.

The older cut-off quietly excluded a familiar group: bright children, or well supported ones, who managed until the demands rose and only visibly…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

Nearly everything on the ADHD list can show up inside a bipolar presentation, and the reverse is not true. So the shared features settle nothing, and the distinctly manic ones carry all the weight.

Put your attention on episodic elevation, grandiosity and a genuinely reduced need for sleep. Those do not belong to ADHD on its own, so they tell…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

When someone cannot let go of the old rule after the rules have changed, that is the same machinery that loses their keys and drops the thread of a sentence. Stuck, not stubborn.

It shows up in small places. The game changes and they argue for the old version. The usual road is closed and the whole trip falls apart. A plan…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

Where a relative has taken ADHD medication, take the details: who they are to your patient, what they were given, what it did, and what was tried and dropped. Then put it in the referral letter.

No blood test tells a prescriber where to start, so a brother's clear response to one drug, or a mother's bad reaction to another, is one of the few…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 16:43

There is no box you type 'always late' into and get the answer out of. When a sensible strategy is not landing, the work is finding out what is blocking it rather than producing another strategy.

If you notice yourself handing over the fourth tool for the same problem, stop and ask a different kind of question. What happened the last time they…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216

A man who could not get himself to bed kept his bedtime alarm upstairs, where his wife and baby were sleeping. Switching it off meant climbing the stairs, and leaving it meant waking them. The walk to the alarm was the thing he was trying to do anyway.

That is the part worth copying. Put the cue somewhere that costs something to answer, and make answering it land you where you meant to be. Anything…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

Time management is only the fit between tasks and the hours you have: planning them against time, then doing them against time. It is a skill with parts, not a verdict on what kind of person you are.

Most people arrive having already decided they are lazy, and that decision is doing them no good at all. Describing it mechanically gives you both…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:13

It runs the other way as well. Among children referred for dyslexia, a sizeable minority also have ADHD and many have coordination difficulties too. Whatever is written on the referral, treat it as one part of the picture.

Where the reading difficulty is severe, motor involvement is more likely to be there alongside it, which is why the first look should be wider than…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 49:6

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