Practices

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

Behaviour is usually the visible end of a skill that has not been built. What you are watching in a classroom is the shape of the difficulty rather than the shape of the child.

It is a single sentence you can say in a meeting, and it tends to move the conversation away from what to do about the behaviour towards what the…

When grief rises like a wave, let it come and let it pass. Do not brace against it or push it down.

Grief arrives in waves, not a straight line. A wave allowed to rise will also fall. Fighting it is what makes it last.

Let yourself weep. Tears over someone you love are not a failure of faith or of strength.

Crying is not the opposite of patience. It is the body grieving honestly, and it passes more cleanly when it is not shamed.

Notice where the fear sits in your body, the chest, the throat, the gut, and breathe gently toward it.

The body remembers what words forget. Meeting the sensation with breath, not judgement, begins to loosen it.

Take your love needs to your partner, not outside the relationship. Going outside almost always makes it worse.

When something is missing, ask for it at home. Seeking it elsewhere deepens the wound.

The blockade is partial. Serotonin is not trapped in there forever: enzymes still break it down and the transporters that are not blocked carry on working.

That matters for accuracy and it matters for reassurance, because people do picture something flooding and stuck. It also explains why serotonin…

When someone says they react badly to normal doses of almost everything, take it as information about their body rather than as a personality trait.

Bodies differ in how fast they break a medicine down. Give two people the same dose and one of them may be holding far more of it for far longer,…

Whether a medicine works can turn on something as ordinary as taking it with food or moving it to bedtime.

Vilazodone is the clear case. On an empty stomach a good deal less of it is absorbed, and the nausea it can cause is easier to sit with overnight…

If a medicine leaves you wired, restless or with a pulse that will not settle, report it rather than tolerating it quietly.

The antidepressants that act on noradrenaline as well as serotonin can raise blood pressure and put nerves on edge, and with some of them that grows…

The same medicine can be dangerous given one way and safe given another. Slow release is not a marketing word.

Bupropion was pulled from the market over seizures and came back once a slow release form existed, because what drove the risk was the sharp peak…

Try putting a sentence between you and the mood: this is what my brain is doing right now. It does not make me a bad person, and it does not mean I cannot cope. It just feels that way today.

Low mood does not arrive labelled as a mood. It arrives as facts about you, that you are useless, that nobody wants you around, and it is very hard…

What happened to you is not who you are. Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love who was hurt.

Harm done to you is not a verdict on your worth. Trade the harsh inner voice for a kinder, truer one.

When trauma tells you that you are utterly alone and beyond help, treat that as the wound talking, not the truth. Do not despair.

A common voice in trauma says you are cast out, unreachable, beyond care. It feels total, but it is a symptom, not a fact, and acting against it,…

More of the medicine is not automatically better. What you are looking for is a level that sits inside the working range, and going past it usually brings side effects rather than sharper thinking.

It is a natural thought that if some helps a little, double would help twice as much. In practice people describe the higher dose as flat, or wired,…

If sleep has gone since starting, look at what time the dose is being taken before deciding the medicine is the problem. A long acting dose swallowed at one in the afternoon is still working at bedtime.

Extended release preparations are built to cover eight to twelve hours from whenever they are taken, so a late start pushes the whole thing into the…

Do not compare your dose with anybody else's. Two milligrams of one medicine and a hundred milligrams of another can both be perfectly ordinary, because strength per milligram differs from molecule to molecule.

This comes up in waiting rooms and family group chats and it causes real alarm about being on a lot. The number on the box only means something…

If you are living on campus, ask the pharmacist to split the month's supply across two labelled bottles. Then whichever one you are carrying has a valid prescription label on it.

Carrying a controlled medicine loose in a bag, or in an unlabelled tin, is a disciplinary and sometimes legal problem quite separate from any medical…