Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

26 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Moving your body 30Bringing the future closer 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Exercise, food and other supports 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Structure and routine 18Cool the body first 18Making it stick 18What worry does 17What you are actually defending 17Screens and attention 17Treatment and medication 16Breathing 15Growing empathy 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Feeling from the inside 12Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Self-compassion 8Repair after rupture 8Tolerate distress 8Emotions as signals 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7When you use something to cope 7Use your strengths 7Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Your worth is not conditional 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Safety and grounding 3Working with anger 3Rebuilding trust 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Act on your values 3Affection and touch 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Listen to the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1Panic and the body 1
Approach
When

Some people simply cannot get a family history. Refugee journeys, destroyed records, closed adoptions, families that did not survive. That is a gap in the paperwork and not evidence against the diagnosis.

Say so out loud, and write it in the notes as a gap rather than as a negative finding, so the next person reading does not mistake silence for an…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

One man put his lamps on a timer so the room would go dark at eleven and send him to bed. It worked for a few nights. Then he simply carried on in the dark. A cue can tell you the time. It cannot make you stand up.

Worth remembering before you build anything clever. If the pull of whatever a person is already doing is stronger than the nudge you have designed,…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

An ADHD diagnosis usually arrives with two extra words attached: which presentation it is, and how severe. Both are descriptions of what gets in your way, not a grade you were awarded.

Inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive, or the two together, and then mild, moderate or severe. Mild means you met the threshold and the effect on…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

Hyperactivity and impulsiveness almost never turn up alone. When restlessness appears with no attention difficulty beside it, that is a reason to ask what else might be going on.

In practice the two run together, and over the years the visible restlessness tends to settle while the attention side stays. So a picture that is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:6

The diagnostic manual is a document people sat in rooms and argued over. That is no reason to dismiss it, and it is a good reason not to treat it as the last word on you.

Committees weigh how reliably clinicians can agree on a criterion, what the field trials show, what a particular wording will do out in the world.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

The checklists were built around the loud version of this, and girls are more often the quiet version. If she is struggling and nobody has ever suggested an assessment, that is worth pressing on.

Defiance in girls can look like refusal, withdrawal or a long-running argument about friendships rather than the disruption a teacher would report.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Most autistic people also meet the criteria for ADHD. The other direction is much thinner: only a small minority of people with ADHD meet the criteria for autism.

That is mostly arithmetic rather than mystery. ADHD is the more common of the two, so one overlap looks large from one side and small from the other.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7

Autism and ADHD share some surface features and are still two different things. The social difficulty in each arrives by a different road.

With ADHD it tends to be impulsiveness and missing what was going on: the interruption, the thing said too fast, the friend never rung back. With…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

A reward that comes every time is easy to walk away from. A reward that turns up unpredictably is the one you cannot put down, and that is exactly how your phone is built.

Sometimes there is something good in the notifications and usually there is not, and it is that uncertainty which keeps you checking. Willpower is…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:186

When you read that some proportion of people with ADHD have a particular problem, the number tells you nothing until you know the figure for everybody else.

Twenty percent sounds alarming until you learn what the rate is in the general population. What matters is the multiple, how many times more likely,…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Check the licensing before assuming you cannot afford a good instrument. Some come with permission to photocopy once you have bought the manual.

That detail matters most to the clinicians least likely to have a budget, which usually means the services seeing the families with fewest options. A…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

There is more than one decent instrument, and which you use often comes down to what you were trained on. If you have never used one, say so rather than having a view about it.

Several rating scales are in wide circulation for children and for adults, validated by different groups for slightly different purposes. Picking one…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:32

The manual now asks for signs by age twelve rather than age seven, and it added wording that fits adult life, including restlessness felt on the inside.

The older cut-off quietly excluded a familiar group: bright children, or well supported ones, who managed until the demands rose and only visibly…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

Nearly everything on the ADHD list can show up inside a bipolar presentation, and the reverse is not true. So the shared features settle nothing, and the distinctly manic ones carry all the weight.

Put your attention on episodic elevation, grandiosity and a genuinely reduced need for sleep. Those do not belong to ADHD on its own, so they tell…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

How an outburst ends tells you more than how it starts. Give an ADHD storm some room and it often burns itself out. The rage that runs for an hour with the lights out behind the eyes is a different animal, and so is the child who genuinely does not mind what you take away.

Ask the parents to walk you through the last three. What set it off, how long it ran, what stopped it, what the child was like an hour afterwards.…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

When someone cannot let go of the old rule after the rules have changed, that is the same machinery that loses their keys and drops the thread of a sentence. Stuck, not stubborn.

It shows up in small places. The game changes and they argue for the old version. The usual road is closed and the whole trip falls apart. A plan…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

Where a relative has taken ADHD medication, take the details: who they are to your patient, what they were given, what it did, and what was tried and dropped. Then put it in the referral letter.

No blood test tells a prescriber where to start, so a brother's clear response to one drug, or a mother's bad reaction to another, is one of the few…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 16:43

There is no box you type 'always late' into and get the answer out of. When a sensible strategy is not landing, the work is finding out what is blocking it rather than producing another strategy.

If you notice yourself handing over the fourth tool for the same problem, stop and ask a different kind of question. What happened the last time they…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216

A man who could not get himself to bed kept his bedtime alarm upstairs, where his wife and baby were sleeping. Switching it off meant climbing the stairs, and leaving it meant waking them. The walk to the alarm was the thing he was trying to do anyway.

That is the part worth copying. Put the cue somewhere that costs something to answer, and make answering it land you where you meant to be. Anything…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

It runs the other way as well. Among children referred for dyslexia, a sizeable minority also have ADHD and many have coordination difficulties too. Whatever is written on the referral, treat it as one part of the picture.

Where the reading difficulty is severe, motor involvement is more likely to be there alongside it, which is why the first look should be wider than…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 49:6

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