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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1457 practices
Me remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 485Anger 345Your marriage 224Your body 211Low mood and hard feelings 77Worry and anxiety 73After harm 17Grief and loss 13Yourself and your limits 12
How long you have
A minute 504Five minutes 674Twenty minutes 218Longer 61
Who it is written for · Me
Me 1457A practitioner 1384Someone I care about 874My husband or wife 312
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 1457Struggling right now 670Getting ready for something 328
On your own, or with someone
On my own 1094Involves someone else 282Both of us together 81
Theme
Medication and how it works 91Staying regulated in conflict 60Systems for daily life 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Grounding and settling 24Answering bids 24Treatment and medication 22Practising under provocation 22What ADHD actually is 20Screens and attention 20Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Being seen and judged 18Breathing 18Making it stick 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Treatment and medication 15What worry does 15Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Emotions as signals 14Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Breaking the worry loop 13Feeling from the inside 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12When you use something to cope 9Gratitude 9Tolerate distress 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Safety and grounding 4When anger turns to harm 3Working with anger 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Face it gently 2Ask and say no well 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Care for yourself in loss 2Work with your brain 2Validate yourself and others 2Listen to the body 2The cost of avoiding 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Panic and the body 1Shame 1
Approach
ADHD skills 328Medical and treatment 269Core 255Body based 152Gottman 108Mindfulness 102CBT 98Emotionally focused 79DBT skills 26Trauma informed 20Grief 13Narrative 7
When
Any ordinary day 1083Under stress 199After a row 115In a change 30Coming and going 20Something good 6When apart 4

One sign that the heat has come off a little: you can hold I am furious with you and you probably did not mean it in the same moment, without dropping either one.

In the middle of an argument that second thought is simply not available, and its absence is not a failure of character. It comes back as the arousal…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 42:37

Some people are done with an argument in ten minutes. If the person you live with needs three hours, your quick recovery can look to them like proof that you never cared.

Say the mismatch out loud when things are calm, so that it is understood before the next row rather than argued about during it. If you are the fast…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 7:199

ADHD rarely turns up on its own. If anxiety or low mood is in the room as well, it needs treating in its own right, and that includes when it is the other partner who is struggling.

This is the part that gets missed in couples. One person becomes the identified patient and everybody works on them, while the other one's untreated…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 2:153

Saying I need a break only works if you have agreed beforehand what a break means. How long it lasts, what the other person does meanwhile, and when the two of you come back to it.

Settle it on a calm evening. Twenty minutes, no following, no messages in between, and we sit back down at nine. Then keep the return time exactly,…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 8:46

You can be connected to a thing as well as to a person. A cause, a project, something you are making. On the days people feel like too much, it is still there.

This works best when it asks something of you regularly: a rehearsal, a shift, a chapter a week. The obligation is the useful part, more than the…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 7:199

There is a difference between being calm because your partner manages you and being able to steady yourself. The first works right up until the person is not there.

Plenty of adults with ADHD have got by on outside regulation without ever noticing it: a spouse who makes the difficult phone calls, a deadline that…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 16:127

Sleep, food and moving your body will not cure ADHD, and they do change how much of yourself you have available. Aim for good enough here rather than excellent.

The gain shows up in the margin more than in the symptoms. Rested, you have a bit of room before you snap. Short of sleep, you arrive at the evening…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 8:11

You cannot ask anyone to work harder on your difficulty than you are working on it yourself. That is the condition attached to every adjustment you ask for.

It is what keeps help from curdling into supervision. If your partner is holding the calendar, softening the tone and steering round your worst…

LongerFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 16:127

Ask gently: what has this loss awakened in me, about what matters and how I want to live?

Not to justify the loss, but to let it change you. Grief often clarifies what is truly worth your time.

Five minutesFind meaningGriefQur’an 67:2

Let the loss remind you that this life is short, and let that soften what you were gripping too tightly.

Remembering death is not morbid; it puts small worries in their place and returns you to what lasts.

Five minutesFind meaningGriefQur’an 3:185

Tell your spouse plainly today that they matter to you, and why.

Not assumed, said. You matter to me, here is one reason. The heart needs to hear it.

A minuteFondness and admirationEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

Tell your spouse one thing you respect about who they are, not something they did.

Your patience, your honesty, the way you are with people. Admire the person, not the task.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:13

Recall out loud a moment you were proud of your spouse, and tell them so.

That thing you did last year, I still think about it. Bring the good memory into today.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 25:74

Scan today for one thing your spouse did right, and say it before the day ends.

The mind drifts to what is wrong. Deliberately catch what is right, then name it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 99:7

Remember one reason you chose your spouse, and let it soften how you see them today.

The quality that first drew you is still in there under the daily wear. Look for it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 30:21

When your spouse comes up in conversation today, say something good, or say nothing.

The affectionate word behind their back becomes what you feel to their face. Guard it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 24:19

Replace one eye-roll or cutting joke today with a word of respect.

Contempt is the slow poison. Catch the sneer and turn it, deliberately, into something kind.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:11

Catch one comparison of your spouse to someone else today, and turn it to cherishing.

Not why can't you be like them. Instead, name what only your spouse is and gives.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 20:131

Do not say the small unkind thing about them to someone else.

Today, notice the moment when you could make an easy joke at your spouse's expense, to a friend, a sibling, your mother, the group chat. Don't. Say…

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Take the sarcasm out of one conversation today.

Contempt is the most corrosive tone in a marriage; its opposite is plain, warm respect.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:11

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.