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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

264 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 119Your body 57Anger 45Low mood and hard feelings 24Worry and anxiety 13After harm 2Grief and loss 2Your marriage 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 610Five minutes 981Twenty minutes 264Longer 119
Who it is written for
A practitioner 254Me 253Someone I care about 172My husband or wife 11
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 134Struggling right now 80Getting ready for something 50
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 264Involves someone else 126Both of us together 76
Theme
Systems for daily life 23Moving your body 17Medication and how it works 13Your nervous system 12Get started 12Food, caffeine and fuel 10What ADHD actually is 10Treatment and medication 9What anger actually is 8Bringing the future closer 7Screens and attention 7Your sense of time 7Touch and bodywork 6Tolerate distress 6The moment before you snap 6Cool the body first 6Feelings and focus 6Reading, numbers and learning differences 5The fear underneath anger 5Grounding and settling 5When you use something to cope 4Exercise, food and other supports 4Shame 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Remembering to do it 4When everything feels flat 4Practising under provocation 3Emotions as signals 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Equanimity and perspective 3Shame and stigma 3Being seen and judged 3Use your strengths 3Breathing 3Choosing your response 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Structure and routine 2Breaking the worry loop 2When anger turns to harm 2Making it stick 2Feeling from the inside 2Facing it a step at a time 2Letting it out safely 2Keep the bond 1Repair after rupture 1What worry does 1The cost of avoiding 1What you are actually defending 1Rest and pacing 1Safety and grounding 1Shared spiritual life 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Treatment and medication 1Question the thought 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
ADHD skills 82Medical and treatment 57Body based 36Core 31CBT 22Mindfulness 10Trauma informed 7DBT skills 5Grief 4Emotionally focused 4Gottman 3Narrative 2Parts work 1
When
Any ordinary day 201Under stress 31In a change 14Coming and going 9After a row 7When apart 1Something good 1

Put a number on each step, nought to ten, and let it be your number. Two people facing the same school will not agree about which part is worst, and the ladder has to belong to the person climbing it.

One child dreads the bus and is fine once inside the building. Another would happily ride the bus all morning and cannot get through the front door.…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 23:62

If you are moving attention through the body, start at the feet and work up. Leave the throat, the chest and the face until last.

The far edges of the body carry less charge, so they are a gentle place to find your bearings. Include the back, which people tend to skip: attention…

Twenty minutesFeeling from the insideMindfulnessQur’an 40:19

There is a difference between watching your hand and being in your hand. See whether you can move from looking at a part of your body to living inside it.

Observing keeps a small distance, which is useful early on and can quietly become the whole practice. Inhabiting is the further step: filling the…

Twenty minutesFeeling from the insideMindfulnessQur’an 91:7

Some of what you believe about yourself is not a distortion. Things really did go wrong, often for years. What can be argued with is the conclusion you drew from them, that this is simply what you are.

Try separating the record from the verdict. The record might be missed deadlines, jobs that ended badly, friendships that faded. The verdict is 'so I…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 39:53

A reward that is far off has almost no weight in ADHD. Tying the task to something you actually care about gives you a reason that does not depend on the payoff arriving soon.

So instead of 'I should file these', try 'I want to be someone my family can rely on, and this is part of that'. The other half of this approach is…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 12:86

Fear tends to make its case as caution. Try not to let it quietly shrink what you are willing to attempt, because the shrinking rarely stops on its own.

If you have been criticised often enough, staying out of things stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like plain good sense. The way back is…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 3:139

Worry does two things at once. It makes the problem bigger than it is and it makes you smaller than you are. The second half is the one that usually goes unchallenged.

After years of being told you get things wrong, a low estimate of yourself does not feel like a distortion, it feels like the evidence. So argue with…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 2:286

Sometimes the answer is not a better system. It is doing less, including giving up something you love, because what it costs you has stopped being affordable.

Scouts on a Tuesday, the second job, the committee. Losing one of these is a real loss and it is worth grieving rather than pretending you never…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

When you cannot skip it, shorten it. Come for the meal and skip the drinks afterwards. Two hours of you at your best is worth more to everyone than five hours ending badly.

Decide the leaving time before you arrive and say it out loud on the way in, so that it is a plan rather than a walkout. Booking something afterwards…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 25:63

Look at what you are actually working for this week. If every item is there to stop someone being cross or something going wrong, you are running on avoidance, and it is exhausting.

Avoidance does get things done, but only at the last moment and only with dread attached, and it leaves behind nothing you wanted. Take one thing off…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

Sorting a pile of receipts is not difficult. Sitting with how dull it is, that is the difficult part, and it helps to say so out loud.

Once you know boredom is the real demand, you stop trying to simplify a task that is already simple and start making the dullness bearable instead. A…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 39:10

Sometimes the last minute really does produce your best work. Often it produces your worst, and those nights are much easier to forget.

That is what keeps the belief alive: it pays out just often enough. Rather than arguing about it, count. Take the last ten things you left to the…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Paint the room is not a task. Fill the holes, tape the edges, buy the rollers, do one wall. That is four tasks, and each one ends.

A big undivided job sits in the head as one enormous demand, which is why looking at it tires you before you have lifted anything. Write the steps in…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Promise yourself twenty minutes, or one podcast episode, rather than a finished result. Then the end is guaranteed however badly it goes.

Open ended unpleasant jobs are hard to walk into because you cannot see the far edge of them. A timer gives you one. Twenty minutes of receipts on…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 73:20

Go down the list and find the two items that have been sitting there for months. One of them needs doing this week. The other needs deleting, honestly and out loud.

A list full of things that never move quietly drains everything else on it, because you meet all of them each time you look. Clearing in either…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 39:10

Keep your clearest hours for the work that needs a clear head. Fold the laundry when you are half awake, not at ten in the morning when you have finally come alive.

Most of us have a window or two in the day when thinking is genuinely cheaper, and we spend it on email and tidying because those are easy to pick…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

Sitting exactly halfway between two options is its own kind of exhausting, and it produces nothing. If you have been weighing something for weeks, the weighing has quietly become the activity.

Give it a deadline and a method. One more week, the three things that matter most, and then you choose, knowing the choice will be imperfect. If you…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:25

When you are torn about something, get both sides out of your head and onto paper. Two columns, everything you can think of, no tidying as you go.

Holding both cases in mind at once is what wears you out, and it is why the same argument keeps starting from the beginning every evening. Once it is…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Pick a system that is good enough, spend one evening on it at most, and then use it for a month without changing anything.

You can spend a very long time sharpening tools and never get round to the woodwork. An ordinary calendar used every day beats a beautiful one used…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

The other way through fog is to walk into it. Start badly, on purpose, and let the shape of the thing appear while you are working on it.

With some jobs you genuinely cannot know what you are doing until you are inside them, and waiting for clarity first just keeps you outside. Give…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.