Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

108 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Your nervous system
Your nervous system 108Medication and how it works 83What anger actually is 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 57Cool the body first 55Touch and bodywork 52Your sense of time 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49What ADHD actually is 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46Exercise, food and other supports 44When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25What worry does 24Treatment and medication 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Facing it a step at a time 11Question the thought 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Use your strengths 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Posture and how you carry yourself 8When anger turns to harm 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7When you go numb 4Meaning after harm 4Living with uncertainty 4Letting it out safely 4Act on your values 3Let the wave come 3Rest and pacing 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Ride the urge 2Care for yourself in loss 2The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Panic and the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Listen to the body 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Affection and touch 2Rituals of connection 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1
Approach
When

Hum a note you like for a few breaths, and try covering your ears with your palms so the sound fills your head.

The vibration carries through your throat and your inner ear, and humming lengthens the out breath for you without any counting. Choose your own note…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Breathe in, then push the air out gently against a closed throat, or against lightly pinched nostrils, for a couple of seconds.

The change of pressure in your chest is what does the work, and two or three rounds are enough to notice something. Keep it gentle. Straining is…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:1

Cold water on your face, particularly at the hairline and around the lips, sets off a reflex that slows the heart. It is one of the few things fast enough to interrupt real panic.

A splash at the sink, a few minutes outside in cold air, or a bowl of cold water if you have one to hand. There is a quieter version for when you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:46

Whatever happens in a session, the change gets built in the other hours. Choose things you can do at a bus stop with nothing in your hands.

There are roughly 167 waking hours a week outside an appointment, and that is where a practice either becomes yours or quietly disappears. Elaborate…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

If you went blank or floppy while something terrible was happening, that was your body conserving you. It is the oldest survival setting you have, not a failure of nerve.

This response gets chosen when fighting and running are both off the table, and it is built to spend as little as possible until the danger passes.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:286

Coming up out of numbness usually feels worse before it feels better. Restlessness, irritation and a jumpy stomach are often the way up rather than a relapse.

The route out of collapse tends to run through activation instead of around it. That is why a short walk, some tidying or an errand often works…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:25

Safety comes in through three doors: your body, the place you are in, and the people around you. If one is shut, try another.

This matters most when you are on your own and the person you would ring is not there. You can still change the room, open a window, go outside, put…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:22

Whatever you did in the worst moment, your body chose it faster than thought. You did not decide it and then get it wrong.

The selection happens deep in the brain, in a fraction of a second, before the part of you that weighs options gets a look in. People spend years…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7

Being strong, trained or brave does not decide which way your body goes. People who could easily have fought have frozen instead.

This one matters for anyone whose sense of themselves was built on being capable: soldiers, police, door staff, athletes, older brothers. The shame…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 76:2

The steadiness you are training shows up in more than your mood. Sleep, digestion and how quickly you come down after a fright tend to move together.

Worth knowing when progress on the thing you came for feels slow. People often notice they are sleeping better, or snapping less, before they notice…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 32:9

Body based practices sit alongside medication rather than replacing it. If you take something, you can do both.

They are worth having on the menu for people who cannot take medication, do not want to, or want something of their own to do as well. The skill you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4

Sound based work is aimed at a particular set of troubles: noise that feels too loud, voices that turn to mush, jumpiness, difficulty reading people. If that is you, it is worth asking about.

It gets chosen by what your system does rather than by a diagnosis, which is why the same programme is used with very different people, from toddlers…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78

Irritability, a hot face, itchiness, a mild earache or feeling slightly off balance are common while doing this. People often say it feels like getting off a long flight.

Knowing that in advance matters, because unexplained body sensations are easy to read as harm when your alarm system is already sensitive. Say what…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:260

Most of the research on this programme was done with autistic children. For trauma, what exists is case reports and studies still under way.

That does not make it useless. It does mean you would be trying something promising rather than something established, and you deserve to know that…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191

A healthy heart rate is not a metronome. The small variations between beats are a sign your body can still adjust to what is in front of it.

Heart rate variability is exactly that: how much the gaps between beats change. More of it generally goes with a system that can speed up when needed…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 25:47

If your usual trouble is a racing heart, a crowded head and never quite coming down, slow paced breathing with a feedback device is the one to try first.

Part of the appeal is that you can watch it work. Five or ten minutes of breathing at the pace the app sets, with the trace on the screen smoothing…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4

Rest your attention in the middle of your chest, let your breath slow as though it were moving in and out through there, and bring to mind something you feel warmly about.

A hand on your chest can help you find the place. The feeling does not have to be big: gratitude for something small, or the ordinary fondness you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28

Slow breathing on its own does less than slow breathing with a warm feeling attached and something showing you how you are doing.

That is the difference between the deep breathing most people have tried and found underwhelming, and this. The feedback matters because otherwise…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:152

If you try to call up a good feeling and nothing arrives, you are in ordinary company. That blankness is common after a long stretch of hard years, and it is workable.

It helps to do this part with someone else at first, because another person will notice the flicker you dismissed. Look for what is reliably there…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 28:73

Practise this when you are calm and again when you are wound up. The second one is what makes it available in the moment you need it.

Skills learned in one state can be strangely hard to find in another, which is why people say they forgot to use it. Do the first round with someone…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.