Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1974 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60The fear underneath anger 57Equanimity and perspective 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52What ADHD actually is 49Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46Exercise, food and other supports 44When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Practising under provocation 36Staying regulated in conflict 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25Treatment and medication 24What worry does 24Feeling from the inside 23Tolerate distress 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Fondness and admiration 13Breaking the worry loop 13Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Answering bids 13Self-compassion 12Emotions as signals 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Shame 10Knowing your partner 10Use your strengths 9Repair after rupture 8Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8When anger turns to harm 7Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Name what you feel 3Act on your values 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Panic and the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Validate yourself and others 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
When

Put the thing you are avoiding early in the day. Anything you place late gets pushed out by whatever the day turns into.

Early has two advantages at once. It is less likely to be shunted, because the day has not yet piled up behind it, and if it does slip it only slips…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Email is the easiest place to hide. It answers back, it never runs out, and by five o'clock it feels like you worked.

What makes it such a good stand-in for real work is that the rewards come in small unpredictable bursts and almost none of it asks much of you. Your…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

Turn a vague plan into an if-then: when I sit down after lunch, I will open the one file.

Deciding in advance exactly when and where you will start removes the moment of friction where you usually stall.

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

Look at what you are actually working for this week. If every item is there to stop someone being cross or something going wrong, you are running on avoidance, and it is exhausting.

Avoidance does get things done, but only at the last moment and only with dread attached, and it leaves behind nothing you wanted. Take one thing off…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

Sorting a pile of receipts is not difficult. Sitting with how dull it is, that is the difficult part, and it helps to say so out loud.

Once you know boredom is the real demand, you stop trying to simplify a task that is already simple and start making the dullness bearable instead. A…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 39:10

Sometimes the last minute really does produce your best work. Often it produces your worst, and those nights are much easier to forget.

That is what keeps the belief alive: it pays out just often enough. Rather than arguing about it, count. Take the last ten things you left to the…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Paint the room is not a task. Fill the holes, tape the edges, buy the rollers, do one wall. That is four tasks, and each one ends.

A big undivided job sits in the head as one enormous demand, which is why looking at it tires you before you have lifted anything. Write the steps in…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Promise yourself twenty minutes, or one podcast episode, rather than a finished result. Then the end is guaranteed however badly it goes.

Open ended unpleasant jobs are hard to walk into because you cannot see the far edge of them. A timer gives you one. Twenty minutes of receipts on…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 73:20

Go down the list and find the two items that have been sitting there for months. One of them needs doing this week. The other needs deleting, honestly and out loud.

A list full of things that never move quietly drains everything else on it, because you meet all of them each time you look. Clearing in either…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 39:10

Keep your clearest hours for the work that needs a clear head. Fold the laundry when you are half awake, not at ten in the morning when you have finally come alive.

Most of us have a window or two in the day when thinking is genuinely cheaper, and we spend it on email and tidying because those are easy to pick…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

Sitting exactly halfway between two options is its own kind of exhausting, and it produces nothing. If you have been weighing something for weeks, the weighing has quietly become the activity.

Give it a deadline and a method. One more week, the three things that matter most, and then you choose, knowing the choice will be imperfect. If you…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:25

When you are torn about something, get both sides out of your head and onto paper. Two columns, everything you can think of, no tidying as you go.

Holding both cases in mind at once is what wears you out, and it is why the same argument keeps starting from the beginning every evening. Once it is…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Pick a system that is good enough, spend one evening on it at most, and then use it for a month without changing anything.

You can spend a very long time sharpening tools and never get round to the woodwork. An ordinary calendar used every day beats a beautiful one used…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

The other way through fog is to walk into it. Start badly, on purpose, and let the shape of the thing appear while you are working on it.

With some jobs you genuinely cannot know what you are doing until you are inside them, and waiting for clarity first just keeps you outside. Give…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

If the same three names keep coming up, compare those three and stop looking. Twenty options will not give you a better answer, only a later one.

Past a handful of choices, more searching adds very little while the cost of deciding keeps climbing, and if you are prone to circling it can stop…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

If not knowing makes you itch, the work is learning to sit with the itch rather than making it go away. The plan can stay unfinished while you get on with today.

For some of us an unresolved question hums in the background until it is settled, and settling it becomes urgent even when nothing depends on it.…

LongerGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 94:8

If you are being assessed for attention, say something about your mood and your worry as well, even if nobody asks.

Anxiety and low mood sit alongside ADHD often enough that a thorough assessment will go looking for them anyway. But shame is quiet, and years of…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

Some people simply cannot get a family history. Refugee journeys, destroyed records, closed adoptions, families that did not survive. That is a gap in the paperwork and not evidence against the diagnosis.

Say so out loud, and write it in the notes as a gap rather than as a negative finding, so the next person reading does not mistake silence for an…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

One man put his lamps on a timer so the room would go dark at eleven and send him to bed. It worked for a few nights. Then he simply carried on in the dark. A cue can tell you the time. It cannot make you stand up.

Worth remembering before you build anything clever. If the pull of whatever a person is already doing is stronger than the nudge you have designed,…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

'I set a reminder and still did not do it' is not a story about a bad reminder. It tells you the missing piece was never information, and a bigger, louder version of the same thing will fail in the same way.

The reflex is to escalate: three alarms, a different app, an entire new system built on Sunday night. What is needed is a change of kind, something…

A minuteGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:36

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.