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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices
Fondness and admiration remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 13Me 13
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 13Involves someone else 2
Theme · Fondness and admiration
Your nervous system 52Medication and how it works 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Touch and bodywork 30Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26Exercise, food and other supports 26When everything feels flat 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Structure and routine 18Making it stick 18Cool the body first 18What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Screens and attention 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Feeling from the inside 12Being seen and judged 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Emotions as signals 8Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Self-compassion 8When you use something to cope 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Rebuilding trust 3Calm the body 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Working with anger 3Let the wave come 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3Act on your values 3Your worth is not conditional 3Affection and touch 2Hold a boundary 2Keep the bond 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Get it out of your head 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Find meaning 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Face it gently 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
Gottman 7Core 5Emotionally focused 1
When
Any ordinary day 12After a row 1

Tell your spouse plainly today that they matter to you, and why.

Not assumed, said. You matter to me, here is one reason. The heart needs to hear it.

A minuteFondness and admirationEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

Tell your spouse one thing you respect about who they are, not something they did.

Your patience, your honesty, the way you are with people. Admire the person, not the task.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:13

Recall out loud a moment you were proud of your spouse, and tell them so.

That thing you did last year, I still think about it. Bring the good memory into today.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 25:74

Scan today for one thing your spouse did right, and say it before the day ends.

The mind drifts to what is wrong. Deliberately catch what is right, then name it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 99:7

Remember one reason you chose your spouse, and let it soften how you see them today.

The quality that first drew you is still in there under the daily wear. Look for it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 30:21

When your spouse comes up in conversation today, say something good, or say nothing.

The affectionate word behind their back becomes what you feel to their face. Guard it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 24:19

Replace one eye-roll or cutting joke today with a word of respect.

Contempt is the slow poison. Catch the sneer and turn it, deliberately, into something kind.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:11

Catch one comparison of your spouse to someone else today, and turn it to cherishing.

Not why can't you be like them. Instead, name what only your spouse is and gives.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 20:131

Do not say the small unkind thing about them to someone else.

Today, notice the moment when you could make an easy joke at your spouse's expense, to a friend, a sibling, your mother, the group chat. Don't. Say…

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Take the sarcasm out of one conversation today.

Contempt is the most corrosive tone in a marriage; its opposite is plain, warm respect.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:11

Do not make the easy joke at their expense to someone else.

Guarding their dignity when they are not in the room is a quiet, powerful loyalty.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Raise the complaint without the words always or never.

One specific moment can be repaired; a sweeping verdict on their character cannot.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Notice the tone you use with them that you would never use with a guest.

The people closest to us too often receive our least careful manners; this gently reverses that.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 3:159

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.