Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices

Fondness and admiration On my own Clear all

Who it is written for

Me 13 My husband or wife 13

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 13 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Fondness and admiration

Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83 Medication and how it works 83 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 60 Equanimity and perspective 57 The fear underneath anger 57 Cool the body first 55 Touch and bodywork 52 Your sense of time 52 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 What ADHD actually is 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 When everything feels flat 44 Exercise, food and other supports 44 Treatment and medication 43 Getting assessed and diagnosed 42 Feelings and focus 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Practising under provocation 36 Screens and attention 31 Shame and stigma 30 Making it stick 29 Breathing 28 Structure and routine 25 Treatment and medication 24 What worry does 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What you are actually defending 21 Remembering to do it 20 Growing empathy 20 When you use something to cope 19 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Breaking the worry loop 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Answering bids 13 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Emotions as signals 12 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 11 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 Repair after rupture 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Gratitude 7 Shared spiritual life 7 When anger turns to harm 7 When you go numb 4 Living with uncertainty 4 Meaning after harm 4 Letting it out safely 4 Calm the body 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Rest and pacing 3 Safety and grounding 3 Let the wave come 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Name what you feel 3 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Get it out of your head 2 Panic and the body 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Rituals of connection 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Find meaning 2 Patience and trust 2 Ride the urge 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Listen to the body 2 Listening and understanding 1 Validate yourself and others 1

Approach

Gottman 7 Core 5 Emotionally focused 1

When

Any ordinary day 12 After a row 1

Tell your spouse plainly today that they matter to you, and why.

Not assumed, said. You matter to me, here is one reason. The heart needs to hear it.

A minuteFondness and admirationEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

Tell your spouse one thing you respect about who they are, not something they did.

Your patience, your honesty, the way you are with people. Admire the person, not the task.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:13

Recall out loud a moment you were proud of your spouse, and tell them so.

That thing you did last year, I still think about it. Bring the good memory into today.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 25:74

Scan today for one thing your spouse did right, and say it before the day ends.

The mind drifts to what is wrong. Deliberately catch what is right, then name it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 99:7

Remember one reason you chose your spouse, and let it soften how you see them today.

The quality that first drew you is still in there under the daily wear. Look for it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 30:21

When your spouse comes up in conversation today, say something good, or say nothing.

The affectionate word behind their back becomes what you feel to their face. Guard it.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 24:19

Replace one eye-roll or cutting joke today with a word of respect.

Contempt is the slow poison. Catch the sneer and turn it, deliberately, into something kind.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 49:11

Catch one comparison of your spouse to someone else today, and turn it to cherishing.

Not why can't you be like them. Instead, name what only your spouse is and gives.

A minuteFondness and admirationGottmanQur’an 20:131

Do not say the small unkind thing about them to someone else.

Today, notice the moment when you could make an easy joke at your spouse's expense, to a friend, a sibling, your mother, the group chat. Don't. Say…

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Take the sarcasm out of one conversation today.

Contempt is the most corrosive tone in a marriage; its opposite is plain, warm respect.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:11

Do not make the easy joke at their expense to someone else.

Guarding their dignity when they are not in the room is a quiet, powerful loyalty.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Raise the complaint without the words always or never.

One specific moment can be repaired; a sweeping verdict on their character cannot.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 49:12

Notice the tone you use with them that you would never use with a guest.

The people closest to us too often receive our least careful manners; this gently reverses that.

A minuteFondness and admirationCoreQur’an 3:159

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.