Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

10 practices

Answering bids On my own Any ordinary day Clear all

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 10 Me 10

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 10 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Answering bids

Your nervous system 81 Medication and how it works 69 Get started 61 Systems for daily life 52 What anger actually is 50 Your sense of time 48 Food, caffeine and fuel 43 The moment before you snap 42 Choosing your response 41 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Moving your body 37 What ADHD actually is 35 Treatment and medication 34 Equanimity and perspective 33 Bringing the future closer 33 Grounding and settling 31 The fear underneath anger 30 When everything feels flat 29 Screens and attention 28 Touch and bodywork 27 Structure and routine 25 Getting assessed and diagnosed 25 Practising under provocation 24 Shame and stigma 22 Feelings and focus 22 Making it stick 20 Cool the body first 19 What worry does 19 Treatment and medication 19 Being seen and judged 18 Breathing 17 Growing empathy 17 Remembering to do it 17 Feeling from the inside 15 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 13 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Fondness and admiration 12 Tolerate distress 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Answering bids 10 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Knowing your partner 8 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Breaking the worry loop 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 Gratitude 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 6 Emotions as signals 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Shame 4 When anger turns to harm 3 When you go numb 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Work with your brain 2 Repair after rupture 2 Rest and pacing 2 Meaning after harm 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 1 Listen to the body 1 Listening and understanding 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Panic and the body 1 Safety and grounding 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Your window of tolerance 1

Approach

Gottman 4 Core 3 Emotionally focused 3

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 10 Under stress 2 Something good 1

Give your spouse a few minutes of your full, undistracted attention today.

Not half-present behind a screen. Turned toward, eyes up, entirely here for a moment.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

Answer one bid for closeness today that you might have let pass.

The come see this, the small touch, the story. Turn toward it, do not scroll past it.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

Send your spouse one reaching message in the middle of the day, for no reason.

Thinking of you. A small signal across the hours that says you are on my mind.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

Answer the small bid today: the passing comment is really a reach for your attention.

Look up, turn toward, respond. The weather remark is not about the weather.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

Catch one bid you would normally miss today, a sigh, a pause, a look, and respond to it.

Many reaches are quiet. Tune to the small signals and turn toward one you would have passed.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 50:16

When your spouse speaks to you today, put the phone down and give your whole face.

Divided attention says you are second. Undivided attention, even for a minute, says you are first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

In one decision today, let your spouse's view actually change yours.

Not conceding for peace. Finding the part of what they say that is right, and yielding to it.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 42:38

Do the small thing you said you would do.

Think of the smallest thing you told your spouse you would do and have not done. The call, the form, the shelf. Do it today, not because it matters,…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Answer the small bid; the passing comment about the weather is really a reach for you.

Turning toward these tiny moments, again and again, is what quietly builds a bond.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 4:19

Do the smallest thing you said you would do and have not.

Small kept words are the quiet floor a marriage stands on.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.