Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2455 practices

Me Clear all

Area

Focus, starting, and ADHD 843Anger 602Your body 433Your marriage 224Low mood and hard feelings 161Worry and anxiety 150After harm 17 Grief and loss 13 Yourself and your limits 12

How long you have

A minute 750Five minutes 1182Twenty minutes 380Longer 143

Who it is written for · Me

A practitioner 2485Me 2455Someone I care about 1570My husband or wife 367

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 1457Struggling right now 670Getting ready for something 328

On your own, or with someone

On my own 1888Involves someone else 419Both of us together 148

Theme

Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 73 Grounding and settling 67 Equanimity and perspective 66 Moving your body 63 Cool the body first 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 Your sense of time 58 The fear underneath anger 58 Bringing the future closer 58 Feelings and focus 58 Touch and bodywork 56 Getting assessed and diagnosed 50 What ADHD actually is 48 Exercise, food and other supports 46 Practising under provocation 46 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 42 Screens and attention 40 Breathing 34 Growing empathy 34 Making it stick 30 Being seen and judged 30 Shame and stigma 30 Structure and routine 28 Remembering to do it 26 Tolerate distress 26 Treatment and medication 25 What worry does 25 Knowing your partner 25 Answering bids 24 What you are actually defending 23 Feeling from the inside 23 Breaking the worry loop 23 When you use something to cope 22 Emotions as signals 22 Repair after rupture 19 Facing it a step at a time 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Obsessions and compulsions 14 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Listening and understanding 13 Shame 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 The cost of avoiding 7 When anger turns to harm 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Rest and pacing 5 When you go numb 5 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Calm the body 3 Working with anger 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 3 Let the wave come 3 Face it gently 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ask and say no well 2 Work with your brain 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Listen to the body 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2

Approach

ADHD skills 564Medical and treatment 467Core 377Body based 341CBT 212Mindfulness 181Gottman 113Emotionally focused 94 DBT skills 41 Trauma informed 33 Grief 17 Narrative 12 Parts work 3

When

Any ordinary day 1619Under stress 474After a row 183In a change 92 Coming and going 69 When apart 12 Something good 6

Catch one bid you would normally miss today, a sigh, a pause, a look, and respond to it.

Many reaches are quiet. Tune to the small signals and turn toward one you would have passed.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 50:16

When your spouse speaks to you today, put the phone down and give your whole face.

Divided attention says you are second. Undivided attention, even for a minute, says you are first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

In one decision today, let your spouse's view actually change yours.

Not conceding for peace. Finding the part of what they say that is right, and yielding to it.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 42:38

When they share good news, ask a question about it.

The next time your spouse tells you something good, do not just say "that's great." Ask about it. How did it happen? What did you say? How did it…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Do the small thing you said you would do.

Think of the smallest thing you told your spouse you would do and have not done. The call, the form, the shelf. Do it today, not because it matters,…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Answer the small bid; the passing comment about the weather is really a reach for you.

Turning toward these tiny moments, again and again, is what quietly builds a bond.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 4:19

Let them tell the good story twice.

Sharing a joy and being met with delight makes the joy larger and the bond warmer.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask which kind of support they want today rather than deciding for them.

Sometimes it is help, sometimes only company; asking spares you both the wrong gift.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

Do the smallest thing you said you would do and have not.

Small kept words are the quiet floor a marriage stands on.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Be firm and warm at once: gentle tone, steady eyes, clear ask. Neither doormat nor bulldozer.

Softness of manner and firmness of content are not opposites. Hold the point kindly.

A minuteAsk and say no wellDBT skillsQur’an 31:19

Ask plainly: name the facts, say how you feel, say what you want, in a few clear sentences.

Drop the hinting. State the situation, your feeling, and the request. Clear is kind.

Five minutesAsk and say no wellDBT skillsQur’an 17:53

Avoiding something makes today easier and tomorrow harder. Say that plainly, to yourself and to whoever is in it with you.

Without that sentence, asking someone to face a frightening thing looks like cruelty, and every conversation about it goes badly. With it, the choice…

A minuteThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 62:8

Anxiety is the most common mental health difficulty of childhood, with something like a third of young people meeting the threshold at some point and a smaller group badly held back by it. Both halves of that are worth saying.

The first half is for the shame: this is ordinary, and keeping it secret is its own kind of avoiding. The second half is so that nobody hears…

A minuteThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 39:53

Some people are not scared of the day, they are flattened by it. Staying home lifts the weight for an hour, then removes the few good things the day still held.

Low mood makes school heavy rather than dangerous: no energy, no interest, everything asking too much. Staying away helps at first and then takes…

Five minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 94:7

There is a particular good feeling in getting out of something you were dreading. Give it a name at home, because it is exactly what makes tomorrow harder.

Children recognise this straight away when it is put plainly: the lovely feeling when you find out you do not have to go. Adults know it too, in the…

Five minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 3:142

The first day back is worse than the weeks before it, not better. Plan for that spike rather than letting it take you by surprise.

Anxiety climbs as the return gets close and peaks somewhere near the doorway, then it comes down, but only for someone who stays long enough to find…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:155

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.