Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices

Answering bids Me On my own Clear all

Who it is written for · Me

My husband or wife 13 Me 13

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 13 Involves someone else 11

Theme · Answering bids

Your nervous system 105Medication and how it works 82 What anger actually is 78 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 59 Equanimity and perspective 57 The fear underneath anger 56 Cool the body first 55 Touch and bodywork 52 Your sense of time 52 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 What ADHD actually is 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 When everything feels flat 39 Feelings and focus 37 Practising under provocation 36 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Shame and stigma 30 Treatment and medication 29 Making it stick 29 Screens and attention 28 Breathing 28 Getting assessed and diagnosed 28 Structure and routine 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What worry does 21 What you are actually defending 21 Growing empathy 20 Remembering to do it 20 Treatment and medication 20 When you use something to cope 18 Answering bids 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 Obsessions and compulsions 12 Self-compassion 12 Emotions as signals 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 10 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 Repair after rupture 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Gratitude 7 Shared spiritual life 7 When anger turns to harm 5 Letting it out safely 4 When you go numb 4 Living with uncertainty 4 Meaning after harm 4 Your worth is not conditional 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Let the wave come 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Rest and pacing 3 Safety and grounding 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Calm the body 3 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Rituals of connection 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Find meaning 2 Get it out of your head 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Listen to the body 2 Validate yourself and others 1 Listening and understanding 1 Panic and the body 1 The cost of avoiding 1

Approach

Core 5 Gottman 4 Emotionally focused 4

When

Any ordinary day 10 Under stress 2 Something good 1

Give your spouse a few minutes of your full, undistracted attention today.

Not half-present behind a screen. Turned toward, eyes up, entirely here for a moment.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

Answer one bid for closeness today that you might have let pass.

The come see this, the small touch, the story. Turn toward it, do not scroll past it.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

Send your spouse one reaching message in the middle of the day, for no reason.

Thinking of you. A small signal across the hours that says you are on my mind.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

In a raw, vulnerable moment, ask your partner directly for comfort and reassurance instead of hiding the need.

When you are hurting, the brave move is to say plainly what you need, hold me, tell me we are okay, rather than testing your partner or going silent.…

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 28:24

Answer the small bid today: the passing comment is really a reach for your attention.

Look up, turn toward, respond. The weather remark is not about the weather.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

Catch one bid you would normally miss today, a sigh, a pause, a look, and respond to it.

Many reaches are quiet. Tune to the small signals and turn toward one you would have passed.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 50:16

When your spouse speaks to you today, put the phone down and give your whole face.

Divided attention says you are second. Undivided attention, even for a minute, says you are first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

In one decision today, let your spouse's view actually change yours.

Not conceding for peace. Finding the part of what they say that is right, and yielding to it.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 42:38

When they share good news, ask a question about it.

The next time your spouse tells you something good, do not just say "that's great." Ask about it. How did it happen? What did you say? How did it…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Do the small thing you said you would do.

Think of the smallest thing you told your spouse you would do and have not done. The call, the form, the shelf. Do it today, not because it matters,…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Answer the small bid; the passing comment about the weather is really a reach for you.

Turning toward these tiny moments, again and again, is what quietly builds a bond.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 4:19

Do the smallest thing you said you would do and have not.

Small kept words are the quiet floor a marriage stands on.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.