Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

12 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Answering bids
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64Your sense of time 58What anger actually is 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49Treatment and medication 48What ADHD actually is 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37Grounding and settling 34When everything feels flat 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32The fear underneath anger 31Reading, numbers and learning differences 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Shame and stigma 25Cool the body first 25Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24The cost of avoiding 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Feeling from the inside 16Facing it a step at a time 16Shared spiritual life 16Breaking the worry loop 16What you are actually defending 14Fondness and admiration 14Emotions as signals 13Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Answering bids 12Tolerate distress 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Affection and touch 7Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6When anger turns to harm 6Question the thought 6Rebuilding trust 5Notice the pattern and flex 3Rest and pacing 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Panic and the body 3Repair after rupture 3Living with uncertainty 3Work with your brain 2Find meaning 2Act on your values 2Face it gently 2Keep the bond 2Meaning after harm 2Get it out of your head 2Your window of tolerance 1Safety and grounding 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

Give your spouse a few minutes of your full, undistracted attention today.

Not half-present behind a screen. Turned toward, eyes up, entirely here for a moment.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

When your spouse reaches today, receive it fully instead of deflecting.

Not a joke, not a change of subject. Let the kindness or the bid actually land on you.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:86

Answer one bid for closeness today that you might have let pass.

The come see this, the small touch, the story. Turn toward it, do not scroll past it.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:263

Send your spouse one reaching message in the middle of the day, for no reason.

Thinking of you. A small signal across the hours that says you are on my mind.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

Answer the small bid today: the passing comment is really a reach for your attention.

Look up, turn toward, respond. The weather remark is not about the weather.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

Catch one bid you would normally miss today, a sigh, a pause, a look, and respond to it.

Many reaches are quiet. Tune to the small signals and turn toward one you would have passed.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 50:16

When your spouse speaks to you today, put the phone down and give your whole face.

Divided attention says you are second. Undivided attention, even for a minute, says you are first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 2:263

In one decision today, let your spouse's view actually change yours.

Not conceding for peace. Finding the part of what they say that is right, and yielding to it.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 42:38

Do the small thing you said you would do.

Think of the smallest thing you told your spouse you would do and have not done. The call, the form, the shelf. Do it today, not because it matters,…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Answer the small bid; the passing comment about the weather is really a reach for you.

Turning toward these tiny moments, again and again, is what quietly builds a bond.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 4:19

Do the smallest thing you said you would do and have not.

Small kept words are the quiet floor a marriage stands on.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 17:34

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.