Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

103 practices

What anger actually is Clear all

How long you have

A minute 26 Five minutes 60 Twenty minutes 10 Longer 7

Who it is written for

A practitioner 97 Me 89 Someone I care about 69 My husband or wife 9

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 60 Struggling right now 34 Getting ready for something 9

On your own, or with someone

On my own 83 Involves someone else 13 Both of us together 7

Theme · What anger actually is

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Grounding and settling 71 Treatment and medication 71 Moving your body 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Touch and bodywork 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Cool the body first 65 Screens and attention 62 Exercise, food and other supports 61 The fear underneath anger 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 What worry does 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Being seen and judged 30 Emotions as signals 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Knowing your partner 25 Feeling from the inside 25 Breaking the worry loop 24 When you use something to cope 24 Answering bids 24 What you are actually defending 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 When anger turns to harm 15 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Panic and the body 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Your worth is not conditional 3 Working with anger 3 Act on your values 3 Calm the body 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Let the wave come 3 Validate yourself and others 2 Find meaning 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Listen to the body 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Help someone grieving 2 Keep the bond 2 Face it gently 2 Hold a boundary 2 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Get it out of your head 2

When

Any ordinary day 58 After a row 22 Under stress 20 In a change 2 When apart 1

At the start the anger drives and you are in the passenger seat. With practice you get to take the wheel, though the engine stays the same engine.

Nobody makes that move in one go. It tends to arrive in stages: first you only see it afterwards, then you catch it as it happens, then you catch it…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Expect the fear underneath to be denied, and do not push against the denial. This idea has to be worked in gently rather than argued in.

Coming at somebody head on with what they are defending sets off exactly the threat response you were hoping to treat. Small, low pressure versions…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 68:48

You will not get the honest version in one go. Ask, let it be refused, carry on with something else, then come back to it later in the same conversation.

A defended story does not collapse, it wears down. Each pass takes a little off it, and the person needs the gaps in between to do the actual…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 15:47

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.