Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

46 practices

Practising under provocation Clear all

How long you have

A minute 14 Five minutes 28 Twenty minutes 3 Longer 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 46 Me 46 Someone I care about 6 My husband or wife 3

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 22 Getting ready for something 16 Struggling right now 8

On your own, or with someone

On my own 36 Both of us together 7 Involves someone else 3

Theme · Practising under provocation

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Moving your body 71 Treatment and medication 71 Grounding and settling 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 What ADHD actually is 65 Touch and bodywork 65 Cool the body first 65 Screens and attention 62 Exercise, food and other supports 61 The fear underneath anger 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Bringing the future closer 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Growing empathy 36 Structure and routine 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 What worry does 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Remembering to do it 27 Tolerate distress 27 Feeling from the inside 25 Knowing your partner 25 Facing it a step at a time 24 What you are actually defending 24 When you use something to cope 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 Answering bids 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Fondness and admiration 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Affection and touch 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Rituals of connection 13 Listening and understanding 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Panic and the body 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Act on your values 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Calm the body 3 Name what you feel 3 Working with anger 3 Let the wave come 3 Help someone grieving 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Get it out of your head 2 Listen to the body 2 Ask and say no well 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Validate yourself and others 2

When

Any ordinary day 30 Under stress 8 After a row 6 Coming and going 2

Working on anger is not meant to leave you with nothing to say. The aim is to keep the objection and let go of the force it was riding on.

Two things are worth pulling apart: whether something has genuinely gone wrong, and how hot your body has gone about it. A good share of the heat…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 16:126

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:34

Steadiness under provocation is built the way immunity is, in small doses taken on purpose, at a size you can still handle. Waiting for a real fight to test yourself is too big a dose to learn anything from.

In practice that means choosing something that stings a little and staying with it rather than swerving: the colleague whose tone you brace against,…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:35

What you are proudest of will tell you where you are most easily wounded. The two grow on the same root.

Write down two or three things you would hate to be thought about you, then look at where they meet your ordinary week. Who is likely to imply it, in…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 3:200

Go to the gym without the getting ready. No mirror check, no fixing your hair, just train and come home.

This works because it lands exactly where many people quietly keep their worth, and because the real consequences are nil. Nobody there is thinking…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 22:35

The shape of the whole thing is simple. Find the judgement that stings, meet it, talk it through, meet it again with a different intention, talk it through, then mark that you did it.

The talking between rounds is not a break, it is where the moment turns into something you can use. Marking it at the end matters too. Saying plainly…

LongerPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 20:130

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.