Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

68 practices

Equanimity and perspective Clear all

How long you have

A minute 17 Five minutes 44 Twenty minutes 3 Longer 4

Who it is written for

A practitioner 68 Me 66 Someone I care about 48 My husband or wife 6

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 46 Struggling right now 16 Getting ready for something 6

On your own, or with someone

On my own 57 Involves someone else 7 Both of us together 4

Theme · Equanimity and perspective

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Treatment and medication 71 Moving your body 71 Grounding and settling 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Cool the body first 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Touch and bodywork 65 Screens and attention 62 Exercise, food and other supports 61 The fear underneath anger 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 What worry does 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Being seen and judged 30 Emotions as signals 30 Remembering to do it 27 Tolerate distress 27 Feeling from the inside 25 Knowing your partner 25 When you use something to cope 24 Answering bids 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 What you are actually defending 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Shame 19 Repair after rupture 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Rest and pacing 5 Panic and the body 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Meaning after harm 4 Letting it out safely 4 Safety and grounding 4 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Act on your values 3 Calm the body 3 Your window of tolerance 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Get it out of your head 2 Ask and say no well 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Ride the urge 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Work with your brain 2 Patience and trust 2 Listen to the body 2

Approach

Mindfulness 43 Core 25

When

Any ordinary day 37 Under stress 15 After a row 14 In a change 1 Coming and going 1

There are two different jobs here. One is getting through the flare when it is on you. The other is quietly changing, over months, what counts as a flare in the first place.

The first job is breathing, leaving the room, waiting before you reply. The second is slower and less dramatic: the practices that shift what you…

Five minutesEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 18:46

The aim is not to become someone with no force in them. It is to get a harness on the force and point it at something worth doing.

Anger usually knows something true: this was unfair, this matters to me, this cannot carry on. Keep that part and drop the delivery. The energy can…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 12:86

Look back at a fight you went out of your way to have and pride is often what was driving. Being right and being respected feel like needs in the moment, and they cost far more than they return.

This changes what there is to work on. Breathing exercises will not touch a fight you are having in order to prove you are somebody. The question…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 28:88

The real skill is not spotting the hole in their reasoning. It is running the same test on the belief you hold most tightly.

Pick something you are sure of, something you would defend at a family dinner, and ask what it would look like if it were only mostly true. Where…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 53:39

This kind of change is slow, and saying so at the start is a kindness. A goal you can actually reach beats a promise that turns the first bad week into proof of failure.

If you are helping someone, name the timescale honestly and say out loud that lapses come with it. If it is your own work, write down what a…

LongerEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 2:286

Nobody arrives with restraint already fitted. If holding your tongue feels like unnatural work, that is what it is for everyone, and it says nothing about what you are underneath.

This matters because the story you tell about a flare decides what you do next. Broken means give up quietly. Unbuilt means pick one situation, the…

LongerEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 53:39

The old reaction does not get erased. You lay a new one over the top of it, and on a tired or unfamiliar day the old one can still come through.

So a flare after months of doing well is not everything undone. That is what relearning looks like, and it tends to turn up alongside broken sleep,…

LongerEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 3:191

This is not a milestone you pass. The two year old's version goes, then a version comes back at twenty two, and again at fifty two, wearing whatever clothes that stage of life provides.

So think maintenance rather than course completion. When conditions change, a new baby, a new manager, an illness in the family, expect the old…

LongerEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 87:17

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.