Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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93 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 74Grounding and settling 71Treatment and medication 71Moving your body 71Equanimity and perspective 68Feelings and focus 66Your sense of time 66Touch and bodywork 65What ADHD actually is 65Cool the body first 65Screens and attention 62Exercise, food and other supports 61The fear underneath anger 61Bringing the future closer 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59When everything feels flat 54Practising under provocation 46The cost of avoiding 44Structure and routine 36Growing empathy 36Breathing 35Shame and stigma 35Reading, numbers and learning differences 34What worry does 34Making it stick 33Treatment and medication 31Being seen and judged 30Emotions as signals 30Tolerate distress 27Remembering to do it 27Knowing your partner 25Feeling from the inside 25Breaking the worry loop 24When you use something to cope 24Answering bids 24What you are actually defending 24Facing it a step at a time 24Repair after rupture 19Shame 19Obsessions and compulsions 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 17When anger turns to harm 15Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Posture and how you carry yourself 13Listening and understanding 13Rituals of connection 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8When you go numb 7Panic and the body 5Rest and pacing 5Living with uncertainty 5Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Validate yourself and others 2Find meaning 2Care for yourself in loss 2Listen to the body 2Ride the urge 2Patience and trust 2Help someone grieving 2Keep the bond 2Face it gently 2Hold a boundary 2Work with your brain 2Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Get it out of your head 2
Approach
When

Note who is a first degree relative and who is a second, instead of writing 'runs in the family'. Parents, children and siblings sit in one ring. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins sit in the next.

A simple grid helps: names down the side, then relation, what they were like, what was ever diagnosed, what was ever treated. The picture comes out…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

Ask whether anyone kept the old school reports. The same lines turn up generation after generation: not working to potential, talks too much, never has the right books with him.

They were written by teachers who had never heard of ADHD, about children nobody was going to assess, and that is exactly what makes them worth…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

If someone is about to send off a saliva kit to fill in the family history they never had, have a conversation first. These tests hand back more than health information, and they hand it back with nobody in the room.

A father who is not the father, a sibling nobody mentioned, a donor conception no one planned to explain: these arrive by email on an ordinary…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 42:38

'I am disorganised' cannot be treated. 'The post piles up on the hall table until something ends up with a debt collector' can. Spend the time getting the problem down to something that specific.

Push for the particulars: which task, which moment, what was happening just before, what they did instead. Where you can, ask someone who was there…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

For the child who flies off the handle at noise, labels and crowded rooms, with no autism diagnosis in the picture, a free parent completed sensitivity questionnaire will tell you more than another behaviour chart.

It gives you a structured way to describe the reactivity without reaching for a diagnosis the child may not have, and it points at what to change:…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 4:28

Run the assessment yourself and watch while they work. Under real effort you will see the small movements, the tics and the overflow that never appear in ordinary conversation, and none of it reaches you if a technician or an app does the testing.

Sit where you can see hands and face. Note what happens as the task gets harder: the tongue that comes out, the leg that starts going, the free hand…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 3:159

Before intensive work ends, turn what you have learned about a child's thinking into things a teacher can actually do on a Tuesday morning. That translation is what decides whether any of the gains survive going back to school.

A profile written for clinicians is no use in a classroom of thirty. Give three or four concrete actions instead: where this child sits, how…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 3:159

When a child with attention difficulties is also at war with every instruction, that pairing is worth taking to someone early rather than waiting to see whether it settles.

The two travel together often, and a minority of children follow a path from constant defiance into more serious trouble later. Every stage of that…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:216

When a child truly does not mind losing the privilege, taking more away will not get you anywhere. That is the moment to change approach rather than raise the stakes, usually to a structured parent programme that works on the pattern between parent and child.

Star charts fail with these children because the reward was never the point of the behaviour. What helps is a proper course of parent management…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

A clinician trained thoroughly in autism and ADHD may know almost nothing about coordination or reading difficulties, and can spend years working above foundations nobody ever checked. Ask yourself which of those categories your own training left out.

Go back over a handful of old cases rather than only reading about it. Where a child made less progress than you expected, ask what you never…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 20:114

Assessing a child's thinking used to mean a referral, a waiting list and a report some months later. Brief cognitive tools an ordinary clinician can run have changed that, and the gap between noticing something and having a plan can now be a session rather than a season.

Learn one of them properly instead of dabbling in three. Know what it measures, what it does not, and how to talk about a score without turning it…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 18:66

Processing speed is the stubborn one. It shifts a little with repeated, rhythmically paced practice and hardly at all with explanation, so say that to a family at the start rather than when they are disappointed.

Teaching a strategy will not make a slow processor quick, and telling a child to hurry up only makes the work more unpleasant. Graded practice with…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 18:69

Assess, make a plan, do the work, and then keep measuring while you do it. Without that last part you have no way of knowing whether to push harder, change direction or stop.

Use more than one stream: your own measures, what parents notice at home, what school reports, and what the child says about it. Children will tell…

LongerGetting assessed and diagnosedCoreQur’an 42:38

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.