Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

24 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · When you use something to cope
Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 74Moving your body 71Treatment and medication 71Grounding and settling 71Equanimity and perspective 68Feelings and focus 66Your sense of time 66Cool the body first 65Touch and bodywork 65What ADHD actually is 65Screens and attention 62Exercise, food and other supports 61The fear underneath anger 61Bringing the future closer 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59When everything feels flat 54Practising under provocation 46The cost of avoiding 44Growing empathy 36Structure and routine 36Breathing 35Shame and stigma 35What worry does 34Reading, numbers and learning differences 34Making it stick 33Treatment and medication 31Emotions as signals 30Being seen and judged 30Tolerate distress 27Remembering to do it 27Knowing your partner 25Feeling from the inside 25Breaking the worry loop 24What you are actually defending 24Facing it a step at a time 24When you use something to cope 24Answering bids 24Shame 19Repair after rupture 19Obsessions and compulsions 18Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 17Shared spiritual life 17Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15When anger turns to harm 15Listening and understanding 13Posture and how you carry yourself 13Rituals of connection 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8When you go numb 7Panic and the body 5Living with uncertainty 5Rest and pacing 5Safety and grounding 4Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Name what you feel 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Working with anger 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Let the wave come 3Ask and say no well 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Validate yourself and others 2Work with your brain 2Your window of tolerance 2Face it gently 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Find meaning 2Care for yourself in loss 2Get it out of your head 2Listen to the body 2
Approach
When

Not feeling sleepy is not the same as not being affected. Younger drinkers often stay awake through a great deal more than their body is actually handling.

The tiredness that ends an older person's night arrives much later, so the evening runs on and the amount climbs with it. Which is why a limit has to…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 7:31

A tablet is not safer because of where it started out. Taken by someone it was never prescribed for, it is simply an unprescribed drug.

Borrowed stimulants get treated as harmless because a doctor's name is on the box somewhere. The dose was worked out for another person's body and…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:168

When someone tells you how much they use, take it as a floor rather than a total. Then keep that adjustment to yourself.

Under-reporting is rarely a lie. There is legal risk, there is shame, and there is genuinely losing count. So plan around a larger figure than the…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 12:53

If stopping has been harder for you than it seems to be for other people, that is worth taking seriously rather than reading as a flaw in your character.

Some people are working against more than a habit. The thing they are giving up was quietly doing a job for them, holding attention steady or keeping…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:28

Whatever you reach for is probably doing something real for you. Naming that job honestly gets you further than calling yourself weak.

Researchers take the relief seriously enough to study the same receptor systems as possible medicines, which tells you it was never imaginary. So ask…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:219

If you smoked or drank during a pregnancy and have spent years holding yourself responsible for how your child turned out, you are allowed to put some of that down.

The picture is genuinely tangled. The same traits run in families, so a parent is both more likely to pass something on and more likely to have been…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:54

If telling your doctor or midwife what you are using feels impossible, you can ask someone you already trust to pass it on for you, with your permission and in your words.

People often stay quiet with the very clinician who could help, because saying it out loud feels heavier than the problem does. Handing the message…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 9:104

Most people can tell you exactly why the thing is a bad idea. The trouble arrives later, when feeling is running high and all that reasoning is nowhere to be found.

So treat it as a doing problem rather than a knowing problem. Decisions made calmly and in advance travel into hard moments much better than…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 12:33

Repetition is what makes anything stick, and it does not check whether the thing is good for you. That is most of what addiction is.

It is the same machinery that lets somebody pick up a language or a trade, running in the part of the brain built for wanting rather than the part…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 91:8

Drink can make talking easy and still leave you with friendships that feel like nothing. Worth noticing which of those two you actually came for.

One young woman put it plainly: drinking took away the worry about what she was saying, and the people she grew close to were mostly the ones she…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 5:91

Distant health warnings move almost nobody. The cost that lands is the one showing up this month: your memory, your marks, the work you know you could be doing.

So keep it specific and keep it near. Heavy drinking in the teens and early twenties shows up in memory and in school work, which is the exact ground…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 17:26

What you tried at that age is a poor guide to what is in front of your child now. Cannabis today is far stronger than the same word used to mean.

The sentence that closes most of these conversations is I turned out fine. Try a different one: ask what it does for them, when they reach for it,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 25:43

The fog after cannabis is not gone by morning. In younger users learning can stay dulled for several days, so Saturday night is still in the room on Wednesday.

That changes what to look at. Rather than arguing about the night itself, keep a rough note of the days that follow: what got read, what stayed in,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 59:19

With vaping the pull is often not the hit at all. It is knowing the thing is there in your pocket if you need it.

One fifteen year old described it exactly that way: the comfort was that she could, not that she did. If that is your pattern the work sits in two…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:268

Nicotine looks like the small problem next to everything else going on, and it is the one most likely to still be here in thirty years.

Most adults who smoke started as teenagers, and the earlier the start the harder the eventual stopping tends to be. So it earns a place on the list…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 24:21

There are medicines that make stopping smoking easier, and one of them can sometimes cover a mood or attention problem at the same time. That is a fair thing to ask a doctor about.

All of them carry side effects, so the conversation is a weighing up rather than a yes or no. Go in with what you already know about yourself: how…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 5:87

When someone keeps doing the risky thing after every explanation, the missing piece is usually not information. The pull is simply louder than the knowledge.

Which means another lecture is mostly wasted breath, while changing what is within reach is not. Fewer bottles in the house, a route home that avoids…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 45:23

If a young person is using regularly, waiting to see whether they grow out of it is a gamble. Help early is nearly always cheaper than help later.

Families often hold off because raising it feels like an accusation. You can raise it without one: say what you have noticed, say you are not going…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:195

Sometimes the drinking or the smoking is not the first problem at all. It is somebody's own treatment for an attention difficulty or an anxiety nobody has looked at yet.

You can usually tell from what it is used for: to speak in a group, to sit still long enough to work, to sleep. Where that is the shape of it, work…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 13:11

Draw your own chart of the moment you usually give in, with the questions you actually ask yourself, and put it where you will see it.

One woman smoking around ten bowls a day made hers as a set of branches: is it a working day, have I been to work, are the errands done, are the…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 16:67

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