Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

25 practices

Knowing your partner Clear all

How long you have

A minute 14 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for

Me 25 My husband or wife 25

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 15 On my own 10

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Moving your body 71 Treatment and medication 71 Grounding and settling 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Touch and bodywork 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Cool the body first 65 Staying regulated in conflict 65 Screens and attention 62 The fear underneath anger 61 Exercise, food and other supports 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 What worry does 34 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Knowing your partner 25 Feeling from the inside 25 What you are actually defending 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 When you use something to cope 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Answering bids 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Panic and the body 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Let the wave come 3 Act on your values 3 Name what you feel 3 Calm the body 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Find meaning 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Listen to the body 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Ask and say no well 2 Get it out of your head 2

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Gottman 9 Core 6

When

Any ordinary day 20 Under stress 5

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.

When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 17:24

Ask one open question about their inner world tonight, and just listen to the whole answer.

What are you hoping for lately, what are you dreading. Questions with no single answer.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 30:21

Ask your spouse about a moment from their childhood that shaped them, and listen closely.

What comfort felt like then, what they longed for. It still lives in how they love now.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 17:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.