Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

24 practices

What you are actually defending Clear all

How long you have

A minute 6 Five minutes 16 Twenty minutes 1 Longer 1

Who it is written for

Me 23 Someone I care about 22 A practitioner 22 My husband or wife 2

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 20 Struggling right now 3 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 21 Involves someone else 2 Both of us together 1

Theme · What you are actually defending

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Treatment and medication 71 Grounding and settling 71 Moving your body 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Your sense of time 66 Feelings and focus 66 Touch and bodywork 65 Staying regulated in conflict 65 Cool the body first 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Screens and attention 62 The fear underneath anger 61 Exercise, food and other supports 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 What worry does 34 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Knowing your partner 25 Feeling from the inside 25 Answering bids 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 When you use something to cope 24 What you are actually defending 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Shame 19 Repair after rupture 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Rituals of connection 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Living with uncertainty 5 Rest and pacing 5 Panic and the body 5 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Let the wave come 3 Name what you feel 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Calm the body 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 3 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ask and say no well 2 Hold a boundary 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Ride the urge 2 Listen to the body 2 Keep the bond 2 Work with your brain 2 Help someone grieving 2 Get it out of your head 2

Approach

Core 15 Mindfulness 9

When

Any ordinary day 14 Under stress 5 After a row 2 Coming and going 1 Something good 1 In a change 1

Understand more so that you may fear less. That line is the whole point of learning how your anger works: not cleverness, just less fear.

People with a temper are rarely persuaded by being told to calm down, and are often genuinely interested in how the machinery works. Knowing what…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:90

The aim is not to work out the answer. It is to keep moving while the answer is missing, and to find that the fear does not have to run the day.

When something is unsettled, your mind hands you one job after another: replay it, check it, decide what they really meant. You can put those down…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 3:154

A small child works out how to feel about itself by looking at its parents' faces. If that face was missing, or busy, the looking does not stop, it just moves on to teachers, coaches, friends and strangers.

It is part of why being disrespected can feel so much larger than the moment deserves. Some of that old search is still running. The work is slow and…

Twenty minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 50:16

Understanding an idea is not the same as being changed by it. The explaining is soil preparation, and the crop comes later.

Somebody can follow the whole argument about respect and self-acceptance, agree warmly with all of it, and lose their temper the same way that…

LongerWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 22:46

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.