Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

24 practices

Answering bids Clear all

How long you have

A minute 22 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

Me 24 My husband or wife 24

On your own, or with someone

On my own 13 Involves someone else 11

Theme · Answering bids

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Moving your body 71 Treatment and medication 71 Grounding and settling 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Touch and bodywork 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Cool the body first 65 Staying regulated in conflict 65 Screens and attention 62 The fear underneath anger 61 Exercise, food and other supports 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Breathing 35 Shame and stigma 35 What worry does 34 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Knowing your partner 25 Feeling from the inside 25 What you are actually defending 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 When you use something to cope 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Answering bids 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 When anger turns to harm 15 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Listening and understanding 13 Rituals of connection 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Panic and the body 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Let the wave come 3 Act on your values 3 Name what you feel 3 Calm the body 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Find meaning 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Listen to the body 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Ask and say no well 2 Get it out of your head 2

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Core 7 Gottman 7

When

Any ordinary day 12 Under stress 9 Something good 3

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.