Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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2847 practices

Area

Focus, starting, and ADHD 1067Anger 645Your body 464Your marriage 224Worry and anxiety 215Low mood and hard feelings 190After harm 17 Grief and loss 13 Yourself and your limits 12

How long you have

A minute 811Five minutes 1388Twenty minutes 466Longer 182

Who it is written for

A practitioner 2485Me 2455Someone I care about 1570My husband or wife 367

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 1725Struggling right now 731Getting ready for something 391

On your own, or with someone

On my own 1974Involves someone else 625Both of us together 248

Theme

Medication and how it works 177Your nervous system 120Systems for daily life 114What anger actually is 103Getting assessed and diagnosed 93 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 74 Moving your body 71 Grounding and settling 71 Treatment and medication 71 Equanimity and perspective 68 Feelings and focus 66 Your sense of time 66 Touch and bodywork 65 What ADHD actually is 65 Cool the body first 65 Screens and attention 62 Exercise, food and other supports 61 The fear underneath anger 61 Bringing the future closer 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 When everything feels flat 54 Practising under provocation 46 The cost of avoiding 44 Structure and routine 36 Growing empathy 36 Shame and stigma 35 Breathing 35 Reading, numbers and learning differences 34 What worry does 34 Making it stick 33 Treatment and medication 31 Emotions as signals 30 Being seen and judged 30 Tolerate distress 27 Remembering to do it 27 Feeling from the inside 25 Knowing your partner 25 What you are actually defending 24 Breaking the worry loop 24 Facing it a step at a time 24 Answering bids 24 When you use something to cope 24 Repair after rupture 19 Shame 19 Obsessions and compulsions 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 17 When anger turns to harm 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 Rituals of connection 13 Listening and understanding 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 When you go numb 7 Rest and pacing 5 Panic and the body 5 Living with uncertainty 5 Safety and grounding 4 Meaning after harm 4 Letting it out safely 4 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Act on your values 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Calm the body 3 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Listen to the body 2 Get it out of your head 2 Patience and trust 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Ride the urge 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Keep the bond 2

Approach

ADHD skills 669Medical and treatment 543Core 474Body based 366CBT 278Mindfulness 183Gottman 113Emotionally focused 107DBT skills 43 Trauma informed 36 Grief 17 Narrative 12 Parts work 6

When

Any ordinary day 1894Under stress 524After a row 210In a change 109Coming and going 90 When apart 14 Something good 6

When something is genuinely alive for the person in front of you, work with that. Whatever you had planned to cover keeps until a quieter week.

Teaching over the top of live feeling does not land, and it tells the other person that your agenda outranks their week. When there is heat, follow…

Twenty minutesMaking it stickCoreQur’an 18:23

It does get better, but not by waiting for time to pass. The improvement comes from the walking, and the walking is small and unremarkable.

Every rep you did today changes almost nothing you can feel, which is the honest and irritating truth of it. Progress here shows up over months and…

LongerMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 92:7

Skills bring the flare ups down in number and in heat. What they leave standing is the layer underneath: what you believe you are owed, and how you think people ought to behave.

That layer is slower work, closer to rebuilding a view of life than to learning a technique. What counts as fair, what can reasonably be expected of…

LongerMaking it stickCoreQur’an 13:11

Anger gets fed from several places: blame, not being able to bear not knowing, losing sight of the other person, and needs you never said out loud. Each one wants a different kind of work.

So it is worth asking which of them is mostly yours. If it is blame, forgiveness is the road. If it is not knowing, the work is learning to sit with…

LongerMaking it stickCoreQur’an 41:35

The work you are doing on anger does not stay in the anger box. Learning to hold an unanswered question, or to sit with what you cannot change, turns up in worry and in low patches too.

That is quietly encouraging on the days the anger part feels slow. It also means being careful about crediting every improvement to the anger work,…

LongerMaking it stickCoreQur’an 92:7

Tune to what your spouse is feeling under their words today, and name it gently.

It sounds like that scared you. Responsiveness is meeting the feeling, not just the fact.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70

Be the first to lower your guard today, even a little, and say something true and soft.

Someone has to move first. Let it be you, with one honest, undefended sentence.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 20:44

Find the longing under your complaint, and voice the longing instead.

Under you are never home is I miss you, I want more of you. Say the wish, not the jab.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5

Ask your spouse what is weighing on them this week, and remember the answer.

Not how was your day. What is heavy right now. Then carry a corner of it in your mind.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Notice one way your spouse has changed lately, and let your picture of them catch up.

People keep becoming someone new. Ask about the new thing rather than assuming the old.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 13:28

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:152

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Do not win in a way that crushes your partner's dream. Aim for a marriage where you support each other's dreams.

Being right is worthless if it flattens the person you love. Look for how both dreams can be honored.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:187

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.